Chapter 7

Then Bill had another thought. Was some of Rusty’s fear of hospitals because one had failed to save Freddie? The older man rarely mentioned his dead lover, and Bill was always reluctant to bring him up. Part of that was envy. How stupid was that? How could he be jealous of the time Freddie had had with Rusty?

Another idea sneaked, unwelcome, into Bill’s brain. Did part of Rusty not want the pacemaker because he wanted to die and be with Freddie?

Bill blinked back tears. Thank God he was in Rusty’s room with the curtain closed where no one could see him fall apart. He knew he was overtired, and that was why his brain was coming up with all these stupid ideas that didn’t make any sense.

“Pull yourself together!” Bill told himself.

Bill eased off his boots and swung his legs onto the mattress. Even though Rusty had only been in the bed an hour or so, Bill could smell his man’s scent on the pillow. That, more than anything, gave him comfort.