Leaving a trail

AVA

Once I was out of Rafael's sight, I allowed myself to break the nonchalance, blowing out a resigned sigh. To add, the elevator did not come fast enough. All the while, my heart was beating way too fast inside my chest.

I was paranoid that Rafael might have chosen to come after me. I have no idea why that seemed something to be anxious about. But it was. 

If he had followed me, I think I would have broken down the facade that I was trying to impose. I might have thrown my arms around him and pulled him in a tight hug that I was imagining ever since. 

If he had come after me, I might as well just have melted and thrown away my self-control. I might have cried the tears that I have yet to cry.