Chapter X

Kanina pa ako nakatayo sa may doorbell ngunit hindi man lang ako gumagalaw. Namamawis na rin ang aking mga kamay dahil sa kaba. Naiinis na nga yata si Trev dahil sa aking inaakto. Baka kung siya ang nasa pwesto ko ay kumaripas na ito ng takbo.

"Huwag na lang kaya," nahihiyang ani ko at saka nakangiwing tumingin kay Trev. Ngayon pa kasi ako kinain ng hiya, eh. Last night, I was too ecstatic kaya hindi ko na prinoblema ito ngunit ngayon..

He raised his eyebrow at me. "Huwag na lang? Sige uwi na tayo sa Manila. Hayaan na lang natin si Eevie kasama ang Marcus na iyon. They will get married. Have children. And you? You will forever live a miserable life. Ano? Uwi pa tayo?"

Napahilamos sa mukha. He's so damn good at making some point. "Okay. Okay. I will ring the doorbell na. Ang dami mo ng sinabi."

Sa pangatlong pagdoorbell ko ay may lumabas na lalaki. Is that Marcus? And why is he topless? Unwanted thoughts suddenly crossed my mind. I was about to see red nang bigla akong akbayan ni Trev.

"Chill ka lang."

"What do you need?" he casually asked. Ngayong kaharap ko na ang lalaking ito ay mas nakaramdam ako ng kompitensya. He seems educated. Rich kid din ang aura.

Hinigpitan ni Trev ang pagkaakbay nito sa akin. Telling me to get my head straight. I don't want to cause any commotion here. Ayaw kong isipin ni Eevie na masama akong tao.

"Is Eevie there? She invited me kasi to hang out with her," kalmadong sagot ko without even breaking my stare at him. Kanina pa kumukulo ang dugo ko. Kanina pa nangangati amg aking kamao. Kung wala si Trev dito ay baka nagkagulo na.

"You're Alexus?"

Tumango ako.

His jaw suddenly clenched. Is he feeling the same? The competition, I mean. We're both guys and I know he felt it too.

"Kahit ayaw kong patuluyin kayo ay wala akong magagawa. She's waiting for you. And for starters, I don't like you. You look like a guy that smell trouble. Don't mess around, Alexus."

I balled my fist. Konting-konti na lang ay mapipigtas na yung kaunting pagpipigil ko. This guy is so annoying. Kung hindi lang malapit si Eevie, I should have given him my welcome punch.

I smirked at him. "Ditto."

He suddenly laughs. A sarcastic one. Yung tipong nang-iinis. He opened the gate for us habang umiiling-iling pa ito. Anong nakakatuwa, aber? Kung pwede ko lang tadyakan ito ay ginawa ko na. He showed us the way while I'm still busy cursing him in my head.

"And you are Prince Trev Sandoval, right? And I'm your newest client."

Kunot-noong tumigin ako sa kanya and gave him a 'what-the-hell-is-he-talking-about' look. He just mouthed 'later'.

"I heard. Can I talk to you? I'll just need to clarify some things."

Tumango-tango ito bago siya tumingin sa akin. "She's in the garden. Don't do anything stupid," he warned. I just rolled my eyes at him. I really hate his guts. Sarap manapak ng ganung klase ng tao. Agad na tinungo ko ang garden lahit hindi ko pa ito sinasagot. Baka mag-away pa kami.

Basing from the house structure ay madali ko lang nahanap ang garden. She was genuinely smiling at the butterfly flying on top of her. She looks so carefree. Malayong-malayo sa buhay niya noon kasama ako. Kahit gusto ko pang panoorin siya ay nagparamdam na ako. I cleared my throat to get her attention. She instantly looked at my direction and waved at me.

"Come here," yaya niya kaya agad akong lumapit sa kanyang kinauupuan. She's only wearing a summer dress yet in my eyes, she looks so beautiful. Totoo pala yung sinasabi nila. She gestured me to sit down beside her kaya umupo na ako. Choosy pa ba ako?

"Kanina ka pa naghihintay?" tanong ko.

Umiling siya. "Kanina lang ako nagising. Hindi pa nga ako nagbre-breakfast, eh."

Napakunot-noo ako. "Are you skipping your meals?" Medyo may inis pa sa aking boses ngunit hindi niya yata napansin. Am I already going overboard?

I'm keeping my cool but if it's about her ay mabilis akong mag-react.

"Nope. I took my morning med kaya maya-maya pa ako kakain."

"Med? May sakit ka?" I tried to sound normal. Pwede na nga yata akong pumasang pang-OSCAR, eh. Is this my chance to push the topic? Gusto ko lang malaman ang tungkol sa kanyang aksidente.

She looked at me sadly. "I have an amnesia."

Iba pala kapag sa kanya mismo nagmula. I could feel her longing. Her longing for her memories. I suddenly had a change of heart. Mas mabuti pa lang hindi na siya makaalala. I may sound selfish ngunit iyon ang alam kong mas makakabuti sa kanya. Because her memories are too painful and I don't want her to feel that again. Tamang kami na lang ang nakakaalam ng nangyari sa aming dalawa. Tamang ako na lang ang hinahabol ng nakaraan. Tamang ako na lang ang nasasaktan.

"Gusto mo na bang makaalala?"

"Sino naman may ayaw, di ba? But there's a part of me screaming na huwag na lang. I don't know. Maybe I have a bad past kaya ganun."

Yumuko ako. Her words were like knives, stabbing me - inflicting pain that you couldn't imagine.

"You know, sometimes I wake up crying."

Doon na ako nag-angat ng tingin. "Bakit?"

She smiled bitterly. "I always clutch my chest but it's not physical pain. Yung pakiramdam na para kang nasaktan ka ng sobra-sobra. Kaya minsan iniisip ko na baka may kinalaman iyon sa aking nakaraan. Minsan hinihiling ko na lang na sana huwag na lang bumalik ang aking ala-ala. I'm happy with my life now. I have my family and Marcus. Ano pa ba ang hihilingin ko?"

I felt like crying because of the fact that she's moving on without me. Masakit. Sobrang sakit.

"Paano kung may mahal ka pala noon?"

She shook her head. "Kung may mahal ako noon, bakit wala siya ngayon? Maybe we broke up."

"What if may nagmamahal pala sa'yo?"

She stared at my eyes. "Screw him. Kung talagang mahal niya ako ay dapat hinanap niya ako. Dapat noon pa siya nandito. Maybe he's the reason why I'm having doubt of getting my memories back. Sana hindi ko na lang siya maalala."

Dumaan ang mahabang katahimikan. Ramdam ko yung bawat sakit sa kanyang salita. Yung panunumbat. I deserve this. Kung pwede ko lang akuin yung sakit ay kukunin ko na.

I broke the silence. "Are you not even intrigued?"

"Not a little bit."

And that moment, I wished I could vanish.