ordeals

there comes a time when you say to yourself that what is going on with me. what I was and what I have become. I wasn't like this at all. the effect of being pushed aside damages you inside. you are left with no one. gradually you loses all you friends. finally you left alone. you just keep remembering all the memories of that beloved one who betrayed you. but deep inside somewhere you think that its not his/her fault. all the happenings that you are going through is made up by yourself. you left with nothing except to mourn about that.

the thing is in this condition, these type of ordeals happen. you think how big a nerd I am that I fell in love with the person who is superficial, selfish and prejudice. time passes and everyday there is an increase in your sufferings. you got addicted to alcohol, smoke, ice, heroin etc. you start doing these stuff just to forget him/her. but you are slowly killing yourself and the main thing, he/she don't give a fuck about it. he/she don't care what you have been going through.

one day you decide to forget him/her and to move on. you try. you remove each and everything that remind you of him/her. but deep inside you don't wanna. at last you have a heart and in that heart you have some beautiful feelings that matters a lot to you. and you don't wanna erase them. and then you start crying tat what do I do. you are left with no choice. the other thing is every one can move on, no doubt. but how can person forget someone if he/she is in front of his/her eyes everyday. How?

how could somebody be so cruel that he/she left the other one in such pain. no one could ever imagine the tragedy. you become just like a puppet who has nothing to do except mourning on his fortune. that name of the beloved one sticks to your mind and you can never erase it. if you are with your friends then for a short time you forget about all that stuff. you laugh, and enjoy with your friends but when you became alone then again those cruel things come to your mind and you become upset. you have become depressed. could not concentrate on your studies. you cry every night. you go upstairs under the sky, look at the stars and the moon. and start crying for your doings that you should have never done. if you are a boy then its more difficult for you stay calm in these situations. you cannot express you pain .you can't tell anybody that what are you going through, how much depressed you are. people say that Man don't cry. every time when we try to release some stress by crying, we have been stopped there by saying ''what are you doing, Man don't cry, be a man''.