ch1

.

.

.

I'm tired...

I'm so tired...

I'm drinking my tired heart out inside my house. The darkness filled the room with the moon illuminating through my windows while I let out a big sigh.

I thought I finally made it through.

I thought I was fine now, but I guess I'm not.

I buried myself at work just to forget all those hardships and disappointments in life.

I'm not even an orphan, but I feel like I have no family.

I treasured all my friends even more than my family, but they all still left me.

I guess I'm too dependent on them.

What a trash life!

damn it!

I know I should've loved myself.

I thought I did, but I guess I didn't.

I'm not insecure in any way; I'm fairly decent.

I've got the looks, the smarts, and am kind of well off...

Ugh, just fuck it.

I despise hypocrites and fakes.

I won't say I'm kind, and I also won't say I'm bad-natured.

My friends told me I was a demon, but at the same time, I was not.

I just love to do what I want and not bother with what others say.

It's them who always want to pick a fight, yet they're too weak when I confront them.

how troublesome...

I don't like it. I hate bothersome things, and I hate being bothered.

Is what I want too much?

I just want family and real friends.

I guess it's always like this if you come from a broken family...

I let out a deep sigh while thinking i rant like a kid.

I cried my drunken heart out until I fell asleep.

.

.

.

As I woke up, I saw the blinding light.

A woman is caressing me warmly while she's crying and saying it's alright.

ugh, my eyes, it keeps on closing

Then I fell asleep again.

I woke up again and started to wonder.

Damn, I feel like I know this.

I saw my small hands while I tried to wave.

hah. Even though I prayed to redo my life when I just graduated from college, I didn't think it would be like this.

I just hope I don't have to be a hero of some sort, some kind of noble, or a member of royalty.

That would be so troublesome if I did.

I feel like I'm being shameless right now...

Even so, I thank whoever did this to me, but I'm going to do what I want in this life, so please don't bother me.

I clasped my hands in prayer.

I didn't give much care to what's happening to me right now, as I knew it would be the same as those in novels.

All I care about is that this woman who is looking at me right now with a warm smile might be my mother.

I wonder if it will be the same, though.

My previous life, I mean.