Chapter 35

The repairman took his sweet time and arrived yawning his head off; he seemed very unlikely to return the elevator to full-blooded life immediately. The people who had been waiting gradually lost patience and left.

The coffeemaker's net weight was 12 kg. Adding in the packaging, it was close to 30 kg, quite a bit of weight.

But while Fei Du neglected to exercise, he was after all a young man of appropriate age who could do whatever was needed; carrying twenty or thirty kilograms upstairs actually wasn't much of a problem. The problem was what position he should use—

The cube-shaped cardboard box is perhaps one of the most inhuman of inventions. Whether he carried it on his back, in his arms, or over his shoulder, the appearance would still be rather unsightly. President Fei envisaged a few positions, none of which he could reconcile with his aesthetic sensibilities. But even if it tore his shirt, he still had to carry the burden he had bought himself. Fei Du helplessly stared at the cardboard box, which stared back at him, then decided to see the matter through despite the cost, lifting the box up onto his spotless shoulder—luckily there was no one around but a few foul-mouthed retired old farts and some mangy dogs.

Just as he was resignedly walking towards the stairwell, someone suddenly spoke behind him. "How many flights are you going up? Do you need me to help out?"

Fei Du turned his head and saw a great beauty and a little beauty.

The great beauty was in her twenties and looked like a certain actress, very easy on the eyes. She was leading a little girl around ten years old by the hand. The little girl's hair was done in a princess hairstyle, and she was wearing a pretty floral-patterned dress. Slowly licking the ice cream she was holding, she curiously examined Fei Du.

In only half a second, Fei Du came to a prompt decision and put down the box. Then he instantly took up a theatrical floating manner. He nodded and smiled at the others. "I must be in your way? I'm truly sorry."

"It's all right, I wasn't going that way. I just saw you carrying something that looked pretty heavy," said the great beauty; she hesitated, then turned her head to look at the elevator. "It's such a hot day, and the elevator suddenly broke. The property management really is something else.—How about waiting for the elevator? It may be fixed soon."

Famed playboy President Fei could have asked for nothing better. He happily forgot the time, let the little girl sit on his box, stood in the corridor with its mottled walls, and began to chat with the great beauty.

"It can't take five minutes to climb the stairs." Watching Luo Wenzhou ladling out exotically-scented curry chicken, Tao Ran looked at his watch. "Why isn't Fei Du up here yet?"

Luo Wenzhou was directing his subordinate grunts to set out the dishes; he lifted the lid of a casserole that was slowly stewing ham hocks. "I don't know, maybe he's put down roots downstairs and started to sprout."

Saying so, he scooped up half a tablespoon of broth and sipped it gently; he felt the flavor was all right, but it was still missing something. "Do you have crystal sugar in the house?"

"No," said Tao Ran, changing his shoes as he answered. "I'll go down and have a look for him and go buy a bag on my way. What kind do you want?"

Luo Wenzhou frowned. "He even needs someone to come pick him up when he's going up some stairs. He's a true spoiled young master."

Tao Ran gave a good-natured smile. But when he had just walked out, he saw Luo Wenzhou, making a face, following after him.

"…" Curiously, Tao Ran asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to buy crystal sugar," said Luo Wenzhou. "You don't know what kind to buy."

Tao Ran inexplicably saw a trace of a conspicuous cover-up on his face.

"What are you looking at?" said Luo Wenzhou.

Tao Ran thought about it. "You seem to be getting on a lot better with Xiao Fei lately?"

Luo Wenzhou's steps paused. Then, tossing his slippers, he pompously waved a hand. "Who's getting on better with him? I just have better things to do than bother with that disgraceful piece of work."

Amidst the furious banging of the repairman, the "disgraceful piece of work" President Fei was freely rolling out his long-practiced elegance and ease towards an attractive young lady.

Smelling strongly of curry, Luo Wenzhou, while still in the stairwell, already had his eyes stung by the sight of this source-of-all-evils bourgeois; he couldn't stand this behavior of Fei Du's, thinking to himself that this bit of goods did nothing of value from morning to night; if he wasn't flirting, then he was teasing. Fortunately his family had some money, because otherwise he wouldn't have been able to find a job to support himself.

Luo Wenzhou walked over irritably, a taunting "Are your legs there just to vent air? Would you die of exhaustion climbing the stairs?" just rising to his lips when he suddenly heard Tao Ran, behind him, sharply draw in a breath and nearly stand at attention on the spot. In a slightly trembling voice, he said, "Chang… Uh, Chang Ning?"

The great beauty turned at once; first she stared, and then she smiled. "Oh, Tao Ran, what are you doing here, too?"

Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou, without prearrangement, stopped where they were, their gazes simultaneously sweeping back and forth between the two of them, sniffing out a trace of something unusual from the way these two had called each other by name.

The roots of Tao Ran's ears reddened, and in an instant he forgot heaven and earth, forgot his limbs and his brethren.

His swaying hands and feet stiffened into an uncoordinated set. He shifted over in front of the girl as if half-paralyzed and stammeringly said, "I, I'm going to be living here, I just, just moved in. Why…why are you…"

"Really? I live here, too!" Chang Ning smiled at him, displaying a pair of small dimples. "We really are destined to meet! You see, I didn't lie to you, did I? Our estate really is a step away from the subway, very convenient."

First Tao Ran's head was set spinning by the words "destined to meet"; then he was forced to recall the failed date. He at once began to babble incoherently as if he wanted to find a hole to crawl into. "Yes… Uh, no, um, well, I'm truly sorry, last time I didn't see you home…"

Having heard this much, the forgotten Captain Luo and President Fei already knew this girl's identity.

Knowing was one thing, and seeing it with your own eyes was another thing. The two of them subconsciously exchanged a look, their thoughts and emotions complicated.

The person they had had a lengthy rivalry over and sulked about for an age was as straight as Sun Wukong's staff.

And right now this "golden cudgel," faced with his dream partner, was having an attack of Straight Guy Stupidity.

The two specially invited veteran rivals in love stood beside each other, silently looking on, with an affectingly heavy small household appliance between them.

Outside the green trees cast lush shade, the summer heat beat down, the song of the cicadas clamored incessantly—

This scene could be described as "two rivals gazing on a green willow were sent up to the sky with a wooden club."

Only the little girl sitting on the cardboard box felt no impact. She finished crunching on her ice cream cone and reached out a little paw towards Fei Du. "Dagege, do you have a paper towel?"

Three minutes later, Tao Ran had finally succeeded in issuing an invitation to his dream partner to come visit him. Chang Ning hesitated slightly, then nodded. Seeming to have attained the proper next step, Deputy-Captain Tao was so overjoyed he was about to forget how to find north; he joyfully forgot the other two and solicitously took Chang Ning up the stairs.

The two men left behind, having been mocked by ice-cold reality, looked at each other helplessly.

Luo Wenzhou said, "My feelings are a little complicated."

Fei Du collected his gaze and in a very presidential manner gestured to the box next to him with his chin, indicating that the late-coming "grunt" should pick it up. He himself stuck his hands into his pockets and unhurriedly walked off.

Luo Wenzhou: "…"

It may have been his mistake, but he felt that Fei Du was acting more and more familiar with him.

In the end Luo Wenzhou picked up the coffeemaker without complaint; though while his body was honest, his mouth was still saying "no." He snorted towards Fei Du's back. "You can't even lift this little thing? Do you have a renal deficiency (3), young man?"

Hearing this, Fei Du turned and looked loftily down upon him from several steps up. "What, you want to try me?"

Luo Wenzhou: "…"

Perhaps he had been so provoked by the preceding scene that he urgently needed to change his target; anyway, Fei Du suddenly felt that this speechless expression of Luo Wenzhou's was pretty funny. He considered Luo Wenzhou, who was holding the heavy object in his arms, and a trace of mischief rose in his heart. He looked into Luo Wenzhou's eyes; with his slightly light-colored irises holding Luo Wenzhou's shrunken image, he suddenly drew near.

Luo Wenzhou's interest in men was inborn; he instinctively backed up, putting his foot down on the step below him.

Fei Du laughed lightly and said nothing. He only reached out a finger and tapped gently on the coffeemaker's cardboard box, two knocks that seemed to reach the pit of one's stomach, incomparably unmentionable, unspeakably ambiguous. A small electric current went up Luo Wenzhou's spine, producing a thin layer of warm sweat.

Meanwhile the main culprit, having finished his teasing, had already put his hands in his sleeves and sauntered up the stairs.

Luo Wenzhou: "…"

Asshole!

Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou had gone downstairs and picked up a goddess and a domineering director-general with "renal deficiency."

A certain person had in the end forgotten to buy crystal sugar, so the crystal sugar ham hocks had to be made with plain sugar as a substitute.

The "goddess" Chang Ning was an office worker who had recently been transferred to the Yan City branch of her company. She was single and temporarily living with her aunt. The girl with her was her cousin, named "Chenchen." Chenchen's parents weren't home, so the child had been entrusted to Chang Ning's care.

Once the new guests arrived, the lazing young people in Tao Ran's living room at once boiled over with excitement. Some of them played with the child, and some of them jeered at Tao Ran. Under these jeers Tao Ran's face and ears turned red, and he hit upon the strange idea of a source of calamity; pointing to Lang Qiao, he said, "Right, didn't you bring the silk banner? He's here now, hurry up and present it."

Having been reminded, Lang Qiao immediately dashed to the entrance hall and held up a bright red rolled silk banner with both hands. It unfurled, and the whole living room was at once dazzlingly enveloped by its advancing radiance.

Fei Du: "…"

But it wasn't over yet. With care and respect, Lang Qiao handed the silk banner to him, then took out a gold and red certificate of merit. "Comrade Fei Du, our Director Lu said that I should give this to you and let Captain Luo say a few words in his place. When he's finished handling Wang Hongliang's case, he'll be sure to hold a commendation ceremony himself.—Captain Luo, do you want to say it, or should I say it?"

Luo Wenzhou was just engaged in culinary battle and had no time to divide his attention. Amid the bubbling sounds of the kitchen he yelled, "What did you say?—Tao Ran, why has the range hood stopped working? Did your electricity go out?"

Fei Du was afraid that the policewoman would deliver a lengthy speech about "core values" at him. He quickly made his getaway, using the circuit breaker as an excuse. "I'll go have a look."

The unfulfilled Lang Qiao blinked. "Domineering director-generals know how to do that kind of thing?"

When he was a teenager, Fei Du had often hung out at Tao Ran's rental apartment, accompanied by a host of broken-down second-hand appliances. Tao Ran lived roughly and frugally, never throwing away anything that could be repaired, not permitting Fei Du to buy him anything new. As time went on, for his sake, Fei Du had mastered all the skills of a repairman.

The old building's electrical system hadn't been converted. Inside were only elderly fuses; as soon as the power box was opened, a faint scorched smell came from inside—a fuse had burnt out.

Tao Ran, having just moved in, definitely wasn't prepared; Fei Du had to go downstairs and find a hardware store.

When he was about to go out, he was stopped by Chang Ning's little sister Chenchen. "Dagege, I forgot to buy a homework notebook before. Can I come with you?"

Taking the little girl along, Fei Du avoided a roomful of rowdy young people and took a turn downstairs. In one fell swoop he bought everything he needed, and bought two cream puffs at a small shop on the street. He sat down on a stone bench in the estate and split the cream puffs with Chenchen.

"Grown-ups are too noisy," Chenchen commented, like a little grown-up. "Let's wait a while before going back up."

Fei Du was about to joke with her when he had a sudden, inexplicable feeling that something was off; for no reason, he felt that he was being spied on.

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Author's Note:

(3) To be very clear: a "renal deficiency" is a culture-specific disease in China, associated with lowered Yang energy after ejaculation.

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