The intriguing plot and seemingly colorful characters are bogged down by grammatical and spelling errors, incorrect prepositions and the choice of not using quotation marks for speech. There are a lot of things to improve, but the potential of a great story is already there. Also, as a personal opinion, Webnovel likes their stories more in the "novel"-like style of writing, so you may want to consider that. Best of luck to you, Author!
aleksandra_pano10
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