Review Detail of TonyT in Ghosts & Souls

The way you write your story, I can see that you put a lot of effort in the dialogue and it does seem like you do care about the characters. However, the general structure of your sentences aren't cohesive and lack the basic form when it comes to dialogue. For example, the none usage of quotations marks can lead to very confusing exchanges between the characters. Also, it will help the story flow much better if you cut up your writing into paragraphs as opposed to a giant wall of text. Other than that, I can see that you do care about your writing and characters, you just need to work on the basic structures of writing. Just keeping working and you will eventually find a good flow