I see that you're good at describing things, the chemistry of arby and glenn is something I like about having friends. Lessening the dialogue and putting it on the same level as doing narration would make the story even better. At least in my opinion. The story have less than 10 chapters, no way that's enough to determine how great your story will be in the future. But i will put 5 stars just because i like reading the dialogues, especially reading the conversation arby and glenn had in the first chapter!
Tread_zan
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