Victortoery12

Your writing and character design are very, very good. Top tier. Spelling and grammar are top-tier. You've changed the story enough that you're not just copying the source material. But haven't added CYOA or blatant out-of-universe powers. Well worth the read. Well done.

Unnecessarily homophobic, not too sure why that chapter was even necessary. I guess the author may be closeted, and self-hating. But who knows...

Minor grammar mistakes, terrible story structure. Make it easy to see that Scenes have ended by adding some kind of spacing or something different after the previous paragraph.

Being attached to your old name and fighting to keep it would be one thing, but Red is too damn weird. The general structure and grammar is lacking too, but the whole Red thing made me lose interest and is what stuck out the most.

The "spill everything like it's verbal diarrhea" trope is a story killer. It ruins the story and is always unnecessary. It doesn't improve or really add anything to the story.

Grammar is terrible, lots of mistakes and misspelling. Use grammerly and go over all your chapters. I otherwise enjoyed the fic, spelling just never got better. I’ll check in later to see if the spelling is fixed

LAZY WRITING... Just type 'YOU' instead of 'U' Why are u using u, u dirty mongrel! Just use Grammarly... Or anything really, just make an attempt...

Yuck, the revealing of the mcs reincarnation troupe. This killed any enjoyment I had for the fic.

Fix your grammar, edit your previous chapters, and download Grammarly for maximum effect. Fix your grammar!!! Edit your work!!! Proof read!!!

Fix your grammar, please for the love of all that is holy fix your grammar. Download grammerly, edit your previous chapters, and fix your grammar.