chaoswalker_7
Lv3
I'm not lazy, I have a full time job called living.
2023-01-18 เข้าร่วมแล้วGlobal
-d
การเขียน
13.3h
ของการอ่าน
77
อ่านหนังสือ
ป้าย
6โมเมนต์
34
chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง Flattened_Rice_007He just turned, he's not used to it
The liquid itself was unmistakeably blood.- chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง Flattened_Rice_007
Couldn't have said it better myself
"IT WORKS!!! IT FREAKING WORKS!!! This is the best day of my life!" The figure screamed in joy with his voice sounding close to sobbing. "Seventy years of continuous failures but this result is well worth it. Let's see if I'm no longer worthy in the eyes of that old man. Denying me my birthright just cause I lost to my younger brother. With this, I can make an army strong enough to conquer the Darklands." - chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง Radpiplup
- chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง Radpiplup
- chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
You can use full stops in the middle of a paragraph too. using commas makes it seem like one long sentence
The hairs on her neck stood up and she swallowed hard, with the torchlight of her phone she tried to see what was there, but she was too scared to walk forward, Ana took a deep breath and gathered courage, she walked to the bush where she heard the sound and a creature jumped out of it, she screamed and started making a run for it, she was sweating madly and that's when she realized she had walked too far from home and was lost. - chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
Wow Greek, this is a nice start.
Ana was sitting in the balcony of my room, looking at the garden down below, recalling the saddest incidents of the previous year. Never in her 20 years of existence did she feel so pained. - chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง mahe_ale_aba
Thanks and I hope to improve even more
Milas hit the beast as hard as he could and leopard let out a cry like a kitten in pain. Milas hit over and over till the beast got off him and leapt a few meters away. The beast gazed at Milas with fury but its legs were trembling. It was trembling with fear and pain. It couldn't believe its prey would be this dangerous. - chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง chaoswalker_7Ch 7 CHAPTER 7 : BREAKFAST
- chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้วCh 7 CHAPTER 7 : BREAKFAST
- chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
The first person POV might be affecting how you use " ".
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
Try using **** or --------- to separate events.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
The line is fine without " "
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
Use " " more often as it makes your sentences easier to understand.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - chaoswalker_71yrตอบกลับถึง Flattened_Rice_007
Cool 👍. I can't update due to some personal reasons but hope you check out my next chapter too.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว - chaoswalker_71yrเพิ่มความเห็นแล้ว
This is a great cliffhanger, had me begging for more.
ย่อหน้านี้ถูกลบแล้ว