micheal_armonda

Yeah just realized that, my bad lmao. My points about the writing still stand tho

Despite the idea being great, The writing needs a lot of improvement grammar wise, especially the descriptive language that's being used. Big shots like Big mom, garling, Rocks or whoever shouldn't be stunned and shocked at every little action that happens, no matter how small it is. For dialogue I would recommend going back to one piece and analyzing how characters actually talk because as of right now they behave like OC's. This is by far the hardest part of writing one piece fanfics. On the otherside I do commend you for sticking to a consistent upload schedule and appreciate the use of correct punctuation for the most part. And I do have one small suggestion that might sound silly: I don't think the mc name 'carl' fits one piece at all. So maybe something like 'Carlos' might? Or maybe give him a nickname to not ruin immersion. Please don't be discouraged by my review and keep writing

I don't need to be a chef to criticize food, homie.

Author you literally mentioned the word 'exam' 4 times in a row, in a small 20 word paragraph at that. We both know it's a small detail, but it's these little things that separate mature writing from the bad one.

I ve read to chapter 12 and skipped to some further chapters and honestly I'm quite frustrated. What's the point of having a 'first life' and reincarnating in this novel. It feels like it's put there for the sake of having the word 'reincarnation' in the tags, we hardly get to see the Mc's feelings or ambitions from his previous life, what are his regrets? What's moral and immoral for him? There's a reason why most of these novels spend a great deal at building the mc's backstory. I'm pretty the author would explore the mc's personality further in future chapters using flashbacks or whatever, but at that point people would stop caring about his previous life

there is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" cultivator . its just survival . trust me i ve read many cultivation books and most "good" cultivators are hypocrites

awesome is the last adjective i wanna use to describe someone's butt

of course

how convenient

wasn't he the one who asked Lumilia to steal that thing ?