describe the scene and the movements of the characters, this allows the reader to infer the emotions of the characters instead of you just stating them

you need to start a new paragraph when someone new speaks.

more telling not showing, and you need to space out your paragraph because the huge wall of text makes it hard to read

your telling not showing with the first paragraph.

This novel is the greatest novel of all time, the author is not just remarkably handsome but also the greatest mind of the all time, this is without an doubt a shameless review