Calculated Heartbreak

Dusk.

The time when the boundary between the astral and physical worlds starts to blur, inviting beings from a different plane into our world... But that has nothing to do with me right now.

"U-uhmm..."

With trembling hands, I tried to mouth out words that the usual me wouldn't even dare to imagine saying.

"I..."

I took a deep breath, solidifying what was left of the "courage" I had at the beginning. Looking straight into the other party's cold blue eyes made me cower, but I shouted at the top of my lungs, wishing that my voice could reach the heavens.

"I've liked you since the first moment I saw you! P-Please go out with me!"

A strong gust of wind blew, scattering her long brown hair to the wind and creating a beautiful backdrop with the sunset behind her. However, in my eyes, I could see a shadow being cast over her pretty face as her mouth turned to a disgusted frown.

"Why would I? Know your place, you mongrel."

"... Ah..."

After saying her piece in response to my sincere confession, she turned around as if nothing had happened and walked away. I stared at her fading back as my eyes started watering.

Even if I knew this result from the start—getting rejected by the most beautiful girl on campus—I could still feel a pang in my heart.

As her figure completely vanished from sight, I fell to my knees, losing strength completely. Well, it did take all of my bravery to just call her behind the gym after school, so technically, it wasn't weird for me to crumple at any moment. But that cold gaze and disgusted expression were the clincher, crushing my hopes and my poor little heart completely.

At that moment, a translucent window appeared before me, making me read it out reflexively.

[

You have been turned down by the girl of your dreams!

You have earned the "Forever Loner" Badge!

You have earned the "Pitiful Dreamer" Badge!

]

... What?

I looked up at the sky, stood up, and roared.

"YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT?! COME DOWN HERE, YOU BASTARD!"

---

After that, I didn't know how I got home. I was so unfocused that before I realized it, I was already sitting before my old computer and checking the messages that had been left unread for the whole day.

It was the group chat of my little guild in a certain online game, a pretty famous and hardcore one titled "Lost Age." The whole guild, exactly sixteen including myself, was pretty close to each other. Well, at least virtually.

===

=== Chat Log ===

Mina: Hey, the guild master seems to be just lurking and not joining in at all.

Hailey: Leave him be. He's probably already far beyond our level. I'm betting he's already on his second class up or beyond.

Toki: Reeeally~? I bet he's still testing the waters. See? He's still researching levels, classes, and so on, you know?

Hailey: Hey! Hacking is bad! (... So what's the content of his browser history?)

Toki: Ha Ha Ha... (Secret~!)

================

===

These guys—aren't they having too much fun picking on me? Rather, Toki, that bastard! When did he hack into my computer?! He didn't see anything private, did he?

Like that file, or that site, or... There are actually too many to list!

===

=== Chat Log ===

Toki: Ah! Mahiro, don't worry too much about privacy and stuff. I am professional with my work, after all, and I would never reveal your information to others. Never.

Mina: ...

Hailey: ...

Ruin: You idiot! Dumb, f*cking hacker! Don't use my real name in chat!

Hailey: Ah, Mahi--I mean, Ruin finally stopped lurking!

Mina: Long time no chat, Mahi--I mean, Ruin!

Toki: Ha~! Ha~! Ha~! [grin]

Hailey: So, at what level are you now, Mahiro?

Ruin: ...

Hailey: Hey~! Maaaaahiiiiiiiiroooo?

Ruin: Stop using my real name! And I'm level 1!

Mina: Heeeeh... So level 1 of the third class-up? That's more than double my level!

Hailey: As expected of Ruin! Not only in the game but even in reality!

Ruin: ... No, actually, I'm still level 1 with no class up.

================

===

As soon as I sent that last message, the chat became completely silent. It took them a full minute before the next message was sent.

Well, from how they know me in the game, they must be deliberating whether I was joking or not. As the leader of our guild, I actually had the highest level in the game, leaving the others behind by leaps and bounds.

It must be hard for them to believe that I still hadn't leveled up after a full two months had passed.

===

=== Chat Log ===

Toki: You aren't a vegetable or bedridden, right? Just... How and why?!

Hailey: Toki, this must be the guild master's joke. I mean, why would a grinding maniac like him, whose level was four times that of second place back in the game, let himself be at the bottom of the level ranking?

Mina: 4iy 5u6 j suruj yk rfymol 46didcldirt d6 6e ryr yjiu e ryhh tu uiy 9u 35t[09at4

Toki: Perpetual second place, Mina, stop hitting your keyboard. That's worth thousands of dollars; you'll regret it later.

Ruin: I'm serious, though...

Mina: Tok! Gve me hs address! 'll beat hs ass rght now!

Toki: Mina, your "I" is not working. RIP keyboard.

Mina: The keycap flew away. Stll searchng for t rght now.

Toki: Also, Ruin, I originally thought you were just taking it slow. To think you really didn't level up even once... Are you for real?

Ruin: I am serious. But don't worry; my preparation period is done. I'll be starting my grind tomorrow.

Ruin: I still have classes for tomorrow, and I'm mentally tired already. Later guys.

Toki: Well, you did get dumped by the Queen earlier. Poor guy, RIP.

*Ruin Logged Out*

================

===

As I logged out, I stared at the last message that Toki sent.

This guy... Just how much does he know about my private life? And that thing with my confession! It happened literally a few hours ago, and nobody should know about it yet. Just how?!

While thinking about such things, I closed my eyes and dozed.

---

In a dark room, the chaotic sound of the cooling fan's whirring echoed loudly. Bathed in the dim light from multiple monitors, a figure sat with a pensive look.

*Snap!*

She broke off the energy bar that was held between her rosy lips, creating crunchy chewing sounds that overpowered the whirring sounds.

"Ruin... His research was interesting, but it's too late for me to use his methods. I can try to catch up, but fifty badges are just plain insanity."

As she bent over, her silver hair fell forward, blocking her view. She gently pushed it behind her ears as her red eyes stared at the monitor with great attention.

"But as expected of the grind king, he reached the limit in exactly two months, when the others would be happy with having ten badges."

Fifty badges wasn't really a limit, per se, but rather a theoretical threshold where adding more wouldn't increase efficiency much.

The reason Mahiro was collecting badges before even trying to level up was because of their hidden stat boost. For example, the last two badges he gained, "Forever Loner" and "Pitiful Dreamer," would increase his intelligence by about 1% on average for each succeeding level after earning the badge.

This information was only at the level of urban legend or something at the moment, but Mahiro's instinct was sharp regarding these matters. He believed without a single doubt that the badges would add extra stats upon leveling up!

"But now that our lives are literally on the line, getting more powerful is a good thing."

She stood up and pushed her chair to the side, heading out of her dark room.

"I'd better level up too, or he'll overtake me in a week."

The girl left, slamming the door behind her and leaving only her computer still running at full blast. At that moment, on the taskbar of her desktop, a message notification flashed.

---

I woke up early.

Well, I did sleep around 9 p.m. yesterday, so I guess it's normal. I went down the stairs, heading for the bathroom on the ground floor, while scratching my itchy head.

I turned on the faucet, splashing cold water around. After washing my face and chasing away the remaining sleepiness with the ice-cold temperature of the water, I stared at my face.

My black hair was disheveled, probably from tumbling and turning in my sleep. My eyes look sleepy, but that's nothing new. The only difference from how I usually appear would be the cheeky smile on my face.

"Today, I'll finally start with my long-awaited grind!"

Just thinking about how I'd get out of my cursed "level 1 weakling" title in school, my drive to just head out and hunt mutated animals, a.k.a. mobs, was up to the limit.

"But before that, I need to go to school."

It's 5 a.m. right now, so there's more than enough time to prepare. I slapped my cheeks, leaving two red palm marks. "Let's go!"