Chapter 1 - Why Is My Group Chat So Broken?

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

[Group Chat]

[[Grave Warnings]]

…

My eyes opened and quickly closed. Lying in my bed like a dead body seemed better than getting up at this point in time.

I could tell it was daytime by how bright my room was, as it was usually only lit by my computer. "Uhhh..." A groan came from my lips that sounded as if I were semi-brain dead.

Wiping my eyes, I sat up. I had to get up; otherwise, 'she' would come in and make it that much harder. My hair fell around my shoulders.

Standing up completely, I stretched before grabbing and laying out some clothes. I already had pants on, as sleeping naked had been a no-go due to a certain incident.

I opened my door and walked to the bathroom. Opening the bathroom door, I turned my sleepy head toward the mirror. Intense green eyes, dark brown hair, and one hell of a scowl.

I knew I could be considered handsome, but that was mainly due to the face looking back at me in the mirror. It had been around sixteen years since I had been reincarnated.

Usually, you should meet a god or something, but for me, I just died. I died and instantly woke up again as a baby who couldn't see and could barely hear.

It felt like playing a Souls game and immediately hitting NewGamePlus the second I finished the game. I had no opportunity to rest or enjoy my death, as it felt like an instant.

I don't know if I should consider myself lucky to be reborn as Eren Yeager in a modern world, but thanks to whatever god brought me here. You've really outdone yourself this time... If you can't tell, that's sarcasm.

At least my parents are alive, right? This world held nothing special, as far as I could see. I couldn't have been lucky enough to be reborn in some sort of DxD world.

I closed the bathroom door before getting undressed and turning on the shower. I was lucky that I had prepared a towel the night prior, or I would have to do the walk of shame back to my room.

Imagine thinking that something special could happen in your new lifetime. I was lucky enough to have another life, but I feel as though I'm going to go through a bunch of bullshit.

Stepping out of the shower and drying myself with a towel, I walked back to the mirror. I made sure to get rid of the extra moisture in my hair and wrap the towel around my waist.

My hands grasped the edge of the sink as I stared into the mirror. I may be a lazy piece of shit but I wasn't going to skip out on getting ripped, even if it killed me.

Something supernatural may have been going on with my body, as I don't think any sixteen-year-old should be as defined as I was. I had eight-pack abs that looked as if they were sculpted by a god.

I had muscles in all the right places, but not too much to be concerned with. It was as if, by some miracle, I had kept a sliver of titan shifter biology.

Staring deep into my own reflection, I did my daily ritual. "Fight. Fight. Fight." I spoke to myself with an almost dead tone. The first time I said it to myself versus now would be like comparing someone who stepped on an ant versus someone who had killed seventy-two people.

Night and day. I no longer carried the spark of believing something special could happen in the world.

Grabbing my hair, I wrapped it in a messy bun that had no reason to look as good as it did.

"Fight. Fight." I continued to talk to the mirror version of me. Who knows, maybe I'll get something out of this if I stay delusional.

"You're doing it again, Eren." I immediately turned my head to the left to see Mikasa. Her obsidian black eyes were staring into mine with what looked to be concern. Her pitch-black hair was cut to her shoulders. She was wearing a white T-shirt and gray sweatpants.

I turned back to the mirror, but something was different this time. I swear I could see something small that was getting bigger.

"Eren, I was wondering..." I began to drown out Mikasa's voice as I squinted my eyes. Whatever it was, it was getting bigger and at a fast rate.

By the time I could make out what it said, it grew instantly in front of my face. 'No fucking way!' I thought with excitement.

[Would you like to join the Custom Made Group Chat? Y/N]

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date somewhere sometime..?" I heard Mikasa speak, but I was far too absorbed in the see-through blue screen in front of my face.

"FUCK YES! Yes! Yes! Yes! I used to pray for times like these!" I screamed out, which startled Mikasa as she took a step back. A blush was clear on her face as I turned to her with the greatest smile I could show.

That was until I remembered I was half-naked with a towel covering my lower half, and I had yet to brush my teeth. My smile dropped, and I grabbed the doorknob.

"We'll talk about this later," I said as I began closing the door. "Pervert." The door closed as I finished speaking.

I would have to find out what this group chat is all about. I took a step forward and paused.

"Oh shit, did I just agree to go on a date with Mikasa?" My voice came out as a whisper as I put together the one-sided conversation she had with me while she had been stuttering.

'It is what it is'

...

I sat on my bed with a brooding posture. I admit that I could be shaking at this moment, but that is not the main objective as of now.

With my excitement through the roof, I opened the group chat.

[Group Chat]

[Mail]

[Gacha]

[Missions]

[Shop]

I thought of tapping on the 'Group Chat' due to not wanting to look stupid by actually trying to touch nothing.

[Secretly An Eldritch God Is Online!]

[You have been given administrative access due to being the first member of the group chat!]

[Would you like to hand out invites? Y/N] 

A strained smile graced my face at the username I was given. I could access the mail from the main menu or from the group chat. There was nothing in my inbox, and because of that, I just shrugged and looked at the invitation question.

"Fuck it, we ball," I said as I pressed yes on the prompt.

[Handing out invites...]

[Five invites are left.]

[Three invites are left.]

[One invite is left.]

[Activating group chat missions...]

[Missions activated!]

[Error! Re-inviting members...]

[Error! Error! Error!]

[Finding a workaround...]

[Workaround found!]

[Canceling invites...]

[Due to the mission levels being too high for one person, commencing level balance...]

I watched all this go down with bated breath. My mood went from excited to depressed in less time than it took for a father to leave a family.

Of course, I could never have a break, and even giving me people that I could rely on seemed too much for the universe.

My mailbox lit up with a red icon.

[Bonus reward generated!]

The group chat system said that the missions I would get were too hard for a single person. I'm sure that it meant a single person with magical powers, so I'm definitely fresh out of luck.

Thinking about going into the inbox, I saw the brand new message I was given.

[Due to not being able to hand out invites because of an unseen force, the Custom Made Group Chat has issued you a reward! The level of missions has not gone down and was meant for a minimum group of five.

We hope that this compensation is enough to keep you alive. Failure of a mission could result in death, torture, immense bodily harm, soul loss, eldritch mind-breaking, and more!]

Yeah, I'm fucked! The reward they gave me is a randomized Longinus from DxD! From the depths of 'it's so over!' We have found ourselves at 'we're so back!'

But of course, it was one of those randomized ones instead of allowing me to choose. The number one gacha tactic that always gets you to spend more money.

I pressed the claim all rewards button and found myself in front of a mental wheel. I had no time to waste, so I took the side of the wheel and pulled hard.

I saw many names on there, including Annihilation Maker! "Come on, give Papa a new top-tier Longinus!" I couldn't help but say as I prayed for my victory.

Slowly, the wheel began stopping.

True Longinus, Zenith Tempest, Regulus Nemea, Dimension Lost…

The wheel slowed even more before it landed on... Canis Lykaon.

"I mean, I don't have the right to complain." As soon as I said that, the wheel seemingly heard me and turned one last time.

"Divine Dividing... Let's fucking go!" The racial boost from turning myself into a dragon fueled my outburst.

I don't have a right to complain, but even if the dragons were rated mid-tier, they were still my favorites. I looked in front of me, and a message popped up.

[Claim reward: Divine Dividing!]

Pressing the claim reward, I smiled.

[Error! Error!]

And then I frowned. I fucking knew it! All things having to do with gacha allowed you to believe you've got something and then ask you for a wallet!

That Devil May Cry mobile game in my last life left me so disappointed when they put a ten-time summon behind a sixty-dollar paywall and claimed it was 90 percent off!

[Unable to give out reward... offering counter reward!]

[Claim reward: Boosted Gear!]

I really wanted Divine Dividing too. I wanted to see if you could divide your exhaustion or emotions in half. Could cut down my laziness by half, at least.

I pressed claim reward, and instantly the wheel disappeared along with everything else, and I was brought back to the real world.

[Congrats! You have gotten the reward: Boosted Gear!]

Yeah, fuck you too. I was about to check missions when I saw the inbox light up red again. Checking the message, my eyes widened.

[Due to unforeseen circumstances, the reward of Divine Dividing could not be given out. Currently, you are in possession of the Boosted Gear Longinus and cannot take the Divine Dividing.

We shall provide you with the compensation of having a small amount of Divine Dividing in your Boosted Gear. The true Divine Dividing shall be waiting in your inbox to be claimed whenever you decide to do so.

Happy Hunting!]

In my messages, there was a reward: Divine Dividing. It was there and ready for me to take, but due to having the Boosted Gear, I couldn't currently have it.

Once again, a whisper came from my lips. "From we are so done to we are so back!"

Right before I could celebrate, I got a new message that wasn't even in my inbox but was sent directly in front of me.

[[Due to having the Boosted Gear, unforeseen consequences have emerged.]]

'I can't catch a break!' I thought in exhaustion. 'Please let me rest before you do this to me!'

Wait... I looked at my left arm. "How do I activate the Boosted Gear?"