Why Won’t It Light Up?!

He produced a small orb, no larger than the palm of his hand. The device immediately reminded me of the affinity measuring tool Gauss had shattered not long ago, albeit around only half the size. 

Its smooth surface gleamed faintly in the light and I noticed that the device lacked the blue lines that the measuring device had.

Mr. Booker's next words confirmed my suspicions. "This device is less sensitive than the one we used to measure your affinity, so you'll need to direct your mana with more precision and focus in order to cause any reaction."

"The goal is to cause the orb to produce stable light."

He suddenly gave me a stern look. "But remember not to over-exert yourself-- mana exhaustion can be very dangerous, especially for your injured body."

I nodded with a serious expression, signaling that I understood what he meant. Mr. Booker seemed satisfied with my response and stepped back, giving me a subtle gesture to begin.

I focused, directing my mana toward the orb. To my surprise, the process was surprisingly smooth. The mana flowed into the orb effortlessly, responding to my will.

However, instead of causing any reaction, the orb simply absorbed the mana greedily before dispersing it without a trace. It didn't seem to do anything other than consume the energy I fed it.

I stared at the device in confusion. "...Huh."

Mr. Booker chuckled, a knowing smile on his face. "Tougher than it looks, huh?"

I nodded with my eyes fixed on the smooth, transparent sphere in my hands. The device seemed like it was mocking me.

He gave a small, reassuring grin. "Meditation's your starting point," he said. "It helps you find the flow of mana in your body, center yourself. Once you can make the orb glow while meditating, you'll be able to do it while standing, walking, or even while distracted by something else."

He then showed me the most basic meditation technique he had learned: focusing on the sensation of mana flowing through the body, like a current moving through every vein and muscle.

The entire class was dedicated to trying to make the sphere glow.

However, by the end of the lesson, I hadn't even managed to make the device flicker.

Exhausted and out of mana, I could no longer continue. Mr. Booker ended the remedial class. 

Seeing my disappointment, he assured me, "This is normal. My mana leakage took several weeks to control and you can't expect to fix it in only one day."

"Go back to your dorm and practice during your free time," he said encouragingly. "Good night."

"Night," I waved before heading back.

I was determined to catch up with the others.

***

When I returned to the dorms, the sun was already setting. Lucia was nowhere to be seen when I passed the training facilities-- I had cancelled our normal workouts since I needed to focus on remedial classes with Mr. Booker to catch up.

Lucia was upset but understanding. She had been with me for the past two weeks when I had been relentlessly complaining about being unable to learn magic.

She's really too nice, I sighed. I shouldn't have told her about my problems.

I returned to my dorm and locked the door, then pulled out the pouch hidden under my bed. The demonic cores I'd been saving for the past week were now crucial for my mana leakage practice.

Holding an F-ranked demonic core in one hand and the training device in the other, I sat down on my bed with my back against the headboard. and began to meditate. With my eyes closed, I focused on drawing every particle of mana in my body to one central point.

After several moments, I began pushing the gathered mana through my hand holding the training device.

As my mana depleted from the practice, I replenished it by drawing from the demonic core. By now, I had consumed five F-ranked cores—three from before entering the Academy and two I had obtained during the Artificial Gate Massacre. The sixth was as easy to take as breathing.

Though my veins swelled with the red, polluted mana, my mind remained calm, and there were no signs of the bloodlust that had plagued me during the first few times. 

A part of me worried about the lasting effects of regularly consuming demonic cores without Gauss' System or Rebecca's natural talent to filter the corruption. Still, there were no issues so far.

Furthermore, I could not afford the high-quality mana potions that people born with golden spoons like Leo used for training. Even with Mav's family sending allowances every month, I could only buy basic equipment and necessary supplies.

There weren't any better options for me than the demonic cores.

The demonic core slowly dissolved in my hand, providing a quick and steady flow of mana that allowed me to continue training at full intensity. Though my mana quickly depleted, the core replenished it just as fast, keeping me in a constant cycle of consumption and recovery.

Then I would try again.

And again.

And again.

"Both Mav and I have no talent," I whispered to myself as sweat trickled down my forehead.

In my mind, I saw images of Gauss, Leo, Perseus, Lucia, and Rebecca. They were the future generation of Heroes that would face the Apocalypse.

Talented, beautiful, and powerful.

"I must work harder… much, much harder if I want to survive."

The images of the others faded, leaving only Lucia and Perseus.

"...I must work even harder… if I want to protect my friends."