Broken bonds

I thought my dad had broken me,

but in the end, it was my mom.

She adopted me when no one else did,

my love for her was calm and strong.

I saw her today after years apart,

and realized we couldn't restart.

The day she left, gave up on me,

was the day I grieved, though she was free.

For years I hoped she'd take me back,

believing I was worth the track.

But today I placed the final piece,

and saw she never sought release.

Something inside me broke apart,

inside my mind, a drowning start.

I pushed it down, went numb again,

till I surfaced, felt the pain.

The air I sought filled my chest,

emotions infiltrated, no rest.

Sadness first, then rage did bloom,

filling every part, consuming gloom.

After a while, numbness spread,

my mind knew I was filled with dread.

Didn't struggle, let it be,

water filled my lungs, not free.

Pushed emotions far below,

nothing mattered, no ebb, no flow.

My mom broke me, I'd give all,

but she wouldn't break my fall.