silver amongst coal
simon woke in a place of aching not sure which way to turn.
on the one hand this treatment was working but under the surface cracks were appearing showing ugly realities to him.
he dialled her number strangely they didn't remove his phone from him,but then he wasn't a prisoner was he?
it rang a few times before she picked up.
"amy I'm really sorry about yesterday? I'm just not myself lately...I'm not sure what to do"
she sighed and said with conviction she lacked "just listen to dr Langford he means well and I think he can help you si I really do...just hold on ok for yourself for me and the kids"
he wiped the tired feeling out of his eyes and asked timidly "can you come today? "
amy thought hard did she dare go?given his present disposition it could be all it took to throw the hard work away to push her to her limit.
"no Simon I just can't please understand...its hard for me too I'm living this with you"
he leaned back feeling shit.
"ok that's fine im busy anyway got 3 sessions today and dont come tomorrow either I'll be fine"
she looked at thier wedding picture and felt so alone "dont be like this si,I just think we need to breath its been hard for you"
he became agitated "go see Graham he had an actual illness isnt it?I'm just fucking screwed up...you dont understand amy do you?it heals me when I'm with you but forget it why am I'm talking to you bye"
and he smashed the end call icon.
amy stared at the phone infuriated why can't this be simple,they say every cloud has a silver lining but why was she fishing through coal to find silver its was not going how she thought.
6 months later
she cradled Sarah as she slept peacefully who knew she'd be alone all this time.
since he put the phone down he hadn't spoken to her.
he refused to meet her and gave a message to dr Langford for her.
he said he doesn't want to hurt her or to relapse again,he also said a month ago that he may have to go permanently.
she was on tenterhooks to find out what he ment....what happened in her life was not great.
salim and saleh her brothers found out everything sparing no details.they had the police reports, the neighbors told them about the disturbances in thier home and they made her confess.
at this time they were threatening her if she didn't divorce him they'd rip him apart.
she calmly explained that it's her life and he'd been through alot.
the last thing her 2 month old Sarah and 20 month old Noah needed was an insecure depressed mum so she pressed on.
the shipping company doubled in customers they went National as apposed to regional she had to employ 5 new staff just to handle online demand.
her house was in order and her mother indispensable during the whole ordeal.
meanwhile as baby Sarah was put into her mother's car to meet her father for the first time,amy sat working out the taxes to distract her from what was happening.
her own husband refused to see her but didn't mind her mother was she that bad?
over at BTC (behavioral therapy center)
simon washed his face admiring his long beard and long wavy blond hair.
today he was to see sarah,he couldn't wait but he missed amy like a desert misses the rain.
as he neatened his shirt .
Michael the head nurse called him to go to the visitor room.
as he entered his hijab clad mother in law looking ike an older version of amy walked toward him saying salam and embraced his muscular frame.
"Sasha I've missed you...how are you?"
she pulled back looking at him "I'm good..you look good more together I'd say...you must meet your gorgeous daughter she has your hair and gray eyes"
she turned to the buggy and gently passed the frail little girl to her father.
"she's perfect mashallah, I wish I'd seen her sooner"
Sasha felt a pain in her heart he didn't once in the whole hour ask about her daughter.she dared not bring it up for fear of his condition worsening.
as she wrapped Sarah up he hesitantly asked
"how is amy?"
she turned to him after placing sleeping Sarah in her car seat.
she sat on the chair grabbed his hand and smiled "do you really want to know Simon?"
he looked up at her "I do love her sasha that's why I stay away but it hurts so much....I just need to know shes ok so I can get rid of this once and for all"
sasha breathed hard "shes coping you know her brothers know everything....they want her to leave and do you know what? she flatly refuses she really wants you back....so whatever it takes do it she'll be waiting for you rest assured son"
they hugged and said their farewell.
simon went back to the room and sat staring at his phone...dare he call her. .he dialled then hung up multiple times like all the other days his courage waned.
he flopped on the bed exhausted.
one stubborn memory that wouldn't lock away the very one that would torment him if he couldn't forget.