awakening heartbreak

she sat in anticipation as he was being operated on, nothing in this world is more excruciating than waiting while your loved one is being opened up by strangers.

strangers whom know his anatomy but not his heart,his passions and worth to others.

would they treat him with due care? was he worth going the extra mile for?

as these thoughts tortured amy the doctor was working miracles.

inside the operating theater lay simon resilient as ever fighting for his life.

the transplant was completed its sucess laid in him awakening and returning to his former self.

as the stretcher was rolled out to go back to the ward amy appeared following the porter.

"mrs zamiloon?" the doctor called for her attention.

she reluctantly walk towards the doctor.

eyeing where the porter went.

"mrs zamiloon...the transplant thus far has been a sucess but if he is going to reject it,it will be within 24 hours....so pray and hope as we have done all we can..the rest is in god's hands"

she cordially thanked the doctor and rubbed her aching tummy as the baby kicked in a rigarous manner.

she walked into Simon's ward room and sighed.

her body taking check of the battering it received the last few months.

she wasn't sleeping much or eating.

she had become gaunt and weak.

she saw him looking as a mirror of herself his former physic as if it was a different person altogether.... she wept in anguish he had been through so much.

she pulled out the letter that she wasn't supposed to open unless he didn't make it but it seemed appropriate at that moment.

he was between his life and death none of it certain.

as she opened the heart decorated envelope she trembled...what if this was indeed his final message to her and she'd never hear his voice again.

she began to read it which took her a while as she kept re reading and stopping.

1 hour passed and she slept with her head resting on the bed.

no one woke her and the night turned into near dawn.

had she really slept for 9 hours?

as the nurse checked his vitals she unrolled her prayer mat.

"darling I will be done in a minute so you can pray in peace....please make a plea to god for me also"

amy nodded and proceeded to the bathroom to make wudu and came out to begin her prayer.

simon was still asleep so she did what any Muslim would,she asked Allah for his health and recovery.

as the day drew long and the late afternoon sun set to the evening she sat by his side with a heavy heart, if he didn't wake in the next few hours the rate of slipping into a coma doubled and the chance of waking from that so rare.

she dared not comprehend it.

it approached 11pm the doctor arrived and amy sat up in a formal manner.

he spoke sadly "mrs zamiloon your husband requested us to turn off the ventilator if he didn't wake up by 9pm....we've given it another few hours....I'm sorry we must respect the patients wishes"

she stood up dizzily and confronted him in an angry mood "you fucking listen to me.!I'm not going to let you murder my husband...you stay away.....I will report you to the police"

the doctor put his hands up to show surrender and he called to someone outside "come in peter"

dr Langford appeared looking very unsettled and grieved "amy please no one wants Simon to suffer....I was so hopeful he'd come around but he hasn't amy...I'm so sorry dear"

he approached a very sorrowful amy and embraced her tight.

he nodded to the attending doctor and nurse whom came in.

"amy listen I'm going to be here with you...I lost patrallia and I know how you feel please dont torture yourself.....you did everything you could.....simon loved you so much"

he muffled sobs in his chest rose and as the doctor called out the shut off procedure.

amy clung to dr Langford and continued to break down.

first they removed the iv drip.

then the bloods.

then the feeding tube.

all the while amy peeked through the gap in dr Langfords arm.

and finally they switched off the ventilator.

as the machine beeped...beep....beep

...beeeeeep she came undone.

he flatlined. . .

and amy slumped dr Langford walked her out to the hall.

he placed her on a chair sat beside her and put an arm around her as she sat in total numbing shock.