9. No regrets

Meredith grumbled into the pillow, ignoring the prodding hand on her back as she tried to bury herself into the mattress. She wrapped the covers tightly around herself and stilled.

"Meredith," Derek's voice broke through the barrier of the comforter over her head. The hand still resting on her back moved gently back and forth between her shoulder blades. She ignored him, just as she had ignored him when the alarm had gone off some time ago.

The bed shifted as he lowered his weight down beside her. He lifted the blanket off of her head and slipped his hand back down onto her bare back, snaking his fingers up and down her spine. She could feel his breath against her cheek for several moments before he leaned closer and kissed every inch on face that wasn't buried in the pillow.

"Meredith," he whispered again, his lips rubbing against her ear as he spoke. He kissed her again, right below the ear.

She grumbled into the pillow before tilting her head enough to clear her lips of the obstruction so she could speak legibly. "Whatimesssit?"

His lips met hers three times before he replied. "Six thirty."

She groaned.

He kissed her again and laughed. "I told you that you don't have to come in with me. Why don't I let you get back to sleep and I'll see you after I get out of surgery?"

Meredith smiled despite herself, finally cracking her eyes open. She slowly unclenched her fingers from the fistful of pillow she was holding and snaked her hand across the mattress to grab a hold of the collar of the thin shirt he had pulled on after his shower. She closed her fingers around the thin cotton and smiled as his lips met hers once again. His hand was still running up and down her spine. "No," she mumbled after he broke the kiss. "I want to go in with you."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded as she rolled over. "Mmm-hmm."

Derek deftly rolled with her, coming to rest with his upper body over top of her. He pecked along her jaw line, and then down her neck. His still damp hair flittered along her cheek as his lips found her clavicle. "We have to leave soon," he whispered into her chest.

"I know." Meredith sighed, running her fingers through his wet hair. She didn't make any move to actually get up.

"You're not being very convincing," Derek told her, pulling away far enough to look her in the eyes, his deep blue iris's twinkling.

"Give me a break. It's early," she swiped her free hand jokingly across his chest.

He deftly caught her hand, threading his fingers through hers as he held her hand between them. "Hey, you agreed not to beat me with your ineffectual fists."

She laughed under him as she squeezed his hand. "Sorry, I forgot," she muttered sarcastically.

He smiled and tilted his head. "Are you sure you want to come in early?" He asked again.

She met his eyes easily and nodded. "Of course."

He smirked. "But you're not making any move to actually get up..."

"I can't," she whispered.

He grinned conspiratorially and leaned in close, his lips only millimetres from hers. "Why not?" He breathed.

It was her turn to smirk. "Because you're on top of me."

He huffed and rolled his eyes as he released her hand and pulled away. She squeaked quietly at the sudden removal of warmth surrounding her. She tried to pull him back to her, but he was already out of arm's reach. Meredith met his scheming eyes, and followed their gaze down to the bed only a split second too late. She realized what he was going to do just as he was already yanking the covers off of her, leaving her hands grasping for a fistful of comforter as they whipped over her body, but she was too late. With the rush of cold, early morning air spilling across her exposed body, she jumped off the bed, her tiny ineffectual fists aiming for Derek' s unsuspecting chest.

"Hey!" He struggled to catch her small hands in his much larger ones. "You promised not to beat me," he hissed.

She briefly fought the lose grip he kept on her hands before glaring up into his eyes. "No, I promised not to beat you for getting me up early. I never promised not to beat you for doing that!"

He laughed, releasing her hands and pulling her cold body into the warmth of his chest. "It was the only option I saw at the time."

She scoffed at his words, but allowed his arms to guide her close to him. "You're an ass," she mumbled.

"Only sometime," was his answer. "But seriously, I have to leave in twenty minutes now."

She sighed and pulled away. "Okay, I'll go have a shower while you're doing your hair," she joked. She pulled a towel out of her drawers and wrapped it around her body.

"I do not take that long to do my hair," he hissed as she was stepping out the door towards the bathroom.

"Suuuure," she responded right before she closed the door behind her, effectively cutting off any response he offered. She had a quick shower and dried her hair. Upon returning to her room she found it vacated, so she pulled a pair of jeans and a clean top, grabbed her phone and pager from her bedside table and made her way down stairs, just in time to meet Derek coming out of the kitchen.

"Here you go," he handed her a cup of coffee.

"Ah, that's why I have you around," she joked, dipping her nose to take in the delicious aroma billowing out of the travel mug.

"Hey, I have other more impressive talents." He raised an eyebrow.

She smirked. "Do I get to discover them any time soon?"

He stood stock still for several moments before scoffing as he strode past her, keys jingling as he pulled them out of his pocket. Meredith laughed as she shoved her feet into her shoes and followed behind him, knowing she had won that round, because he obviously couldn't even respond to her words.

0000

Meredith yawned. It was early afternoon and the day was starting to catch up with her. She had kept herself busy in the pit that morning until her shift had been scheduled to begin. However, an emergency had come in for Dr. Bailey, which meant she and her fellow interns had been dispersed to a number of lowly jobs for the day. Meredith had spent another few hours in the pit and then had delivered labs. She had caught a short lunch with George and Izzy, and then it was back to charts. She was currently leaning up against the nurse's station, charts strewn out in front of her as she scribbled post op notes for all of Bailey's current patients.

She felt a familiar presence beside her and turned to find her best friend leaning against the counter beside her, complete with her own set up charts.

"I hate grunt work," Cristina muttered, momentarily collapsing her head onto the charts and sighing.

"Tell me about," Meredith muttered, yawning again. "It's exhausting. I'm exhausted."

"You want to grab a coffee? I need to wake up. Bailey's got a surgery scheduled later, and I need to look more alert if I'm going to get her to let me scrub in."

Meredith laughed. "Sure."

The exhausted interns scooped up their charts and made their way down to the coffee cart in the main lobby of the surgical wing. It was relatively quiet, so they decided to take a well deserved break, and crashed in the empty back seats of the waiting room.

"Urgh," Meredith moaned. "How do family members stand sitting in these chairs for hours? They're rock hard."

Cristina shrugged. "The way I see it, it's all a big ploy to force them to head to the cafeteria and eat hospital food."

Meredith laughed. "You may have something there." She sobered and inhaled the fresh scent of coffee wafting out of her cup. "So, how's it going with Burke?"

Cristina scowled. "Weird. It's weird. He's all... weird. Wants to know things. Asks a lot of questions. Wants my home number." She shrugged. "And everyone knows. I still hate that everyone knows. I feel so..."

"Scrutinized?" Meredith supplied.

Cristina nodded. "Exactly. It sucks."

Meredith laughed. "It does, but I guess it's worth it. And it's dying down now, although I guess you and Burke weren't quite the scandal I created."

Cristina nodded. "Nope, but if it turns out Burke has a secret wife, I'll create a much larger scandal when I kill him with my bare hands."

"Good to know."

"So, how is it going?" Cristina ventured. "With McDreamy and everything."

"Good. I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I've never done this before. But it feels like it's going good. We talk, well we've only really talked once about important things, but it was okay. And we talk about other things a lot. And I feel really... happy. It's new, but it's nice. It's making the staring and the gossip stand-able."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "I was actually starting to like you, and now he's gone and made you into a pod person."

"I am not a pod person! I am entitled to have something good happen in my life for once..." Meredith trailed off as she realized Cristina's eyes were caught on something behind her. She turned her head to find the object of her friend's attention only to glimpse the back of a tall, elegantly dressed figure stride through the lobby and into an open elevator. A tall, elegantly dressed figure with red hair.

Meredith watched until the elevator doors dinged shut before turning back to her friend. "Was that...?"

Cristina pursed her lips. "I think so."

"Is she...? Why is she here?" Meredith stuttered. She hadn't seen Addison since the stressful week she and Derek had been meeting with the lawyers. Derek had told her Addison was headed back to New York.

Cristina shook her head. "Maybe you spoke up about the happiness thing too soon."

"But..." Meredith trailed off, her throat suddenly dry. Derek had told her Addison was leaving. He had told her. And she had believed him. Because they weren't going to have any secrets anymore. They had jumped off the cliff. They were making rules. They were supposed to be happy.

"I need to go," she muttered as she scooped up her charts in one arm, her coffee cup clenched tightly in the fingers of the other arm. She made her way across the lobby and up the elevator. The second she stepped out on the floor she felt like everyone was staring at her a hundred fold from that morning. Derek's name had been wiped off the surgery board, so she headed up the stairs to his office, hoping to cut him off there.

The door marked Dr. Derek Shepherd, Head of Neurosurgery, was half open, but she still knocked hesitantly as she paused in his doorway, suddenly horribly unsure of her place in his life. The door suddenly swung all the way open, leaving her without anything to hide behind.

"Hey!" He said cheerfully. "I'm sorry I missed lunch. We had some complications in surgery, but I got it under control eventually," he said, half turned away from her as he searched through the top drawer of his desk. "I'm just going to grab something to eat. Do you have time to join me?" He extracted a twenty dollar bill from the mess in his drawer, and turned back to her, his expression quickly changing into one of concern. "What's wrong?"

Meredith hesitated. She was overwhelmed, way in over her head. She didn't do this. She didn't know how to do this. They had only been officially in a relationship for a few weeks now, and they had made rules, and they were saying important things. But his ex-wife suddenly showing up threw her for a loop. "I, uh," she started, clutching her charts tightly to her chest. "I saw Addison."

Derek's eyebrows scrunched towards each other. "What? Where?"

"Downstairs. In the lobby."

"Today?"

"Just now." Meredith paused. "I thought she was going back to New York."

"Yeah, me too," Derek nodded, his expression thoughtful as he stared off above her right shoulder.

"Yeah..." Meredith said, not knowing what else to add to her part of the conversation. Her knuckles were growing white around the edge of the charts.

Derek sighed and brought his eyes back over to meet hers, starting suddenly as if realizing something. "You do realize I have nothing to do with this, right?"

Meredith hesitated. "Okay," she finally said, looking away from his eyes.

"Oh, Meredith," he sighed and stepped forward, taking the untouched cup from her hands and gently forcing the charts from her arms. He placed them on the desk behind him and quickly pulled her into a tight embrace. "I promise you that I have no idea why she's here. She told me she was going home."

The integrity in his voice caused Meredith to relax in his arms. She wrapped her arms loosely around him. "Okay," she said again, although this time actually meaning it.

Derek pulled back far enough to look her in the eye. "Are you really okay?"

Meredith nodded. "Yeah. I just... I guess I overreacted. I'm not good at this," she told him, feeling like she was starting to sound like a broken record. "I just... I mean you two have a lot of history..."

Derek shook his head. "You don't ever need to think that again, Meredith. I screwed up, and I'm sorry for that. It was never a choice, between the two of you. I got caught up thinking about obligations and things. Whenever I just stopped and thought about what I wanted...well, you were there every time. I love you, Meredith. I want to be with you."

"No regrets?" Meredith asked quietly.

He smiled his McDreamy smile and her heart melted. "No regrets."