Sixteen

"Oh, Hyung." I looked up from tying my shoelaces when I noticed Jaehyeon approaching me. We were at a beach. For work. We had finished filming just about half an hour ago. It was already past 08:30 pm. Since we were done with our schedule for the day, we had been allowed some time to ourselves. 'Have fun. You won't get a chance like this again for quite some time,' our Manager had said. Everyone had wanted to play in the shallow waters or take a walk but I was really feeling tired and so, I just took to sitting on the sand near the spot we had filmed at. Other staff members and Manager Park were nearby. It actually felt good to just be sitting quietly for a bit.

"Why are you alone? I thought that Manager-nim was with you." Jaehyeon came to sit next to me.

"I'm fine. This feels good." I motioned towards where Manager Park was standing and laughing with the other staff members. "He was with me for a while. What about you? Done with your walk?"

"Mm. I missed my Jeongwoo." He bumped his shoulder against mine and smiled coyly.

I looked around. No cameras. "Hyung." I frowned.

"What? Can't I miss you for real?" He asked.

Now you're talking like Changmin.

Speaking of Changmin… It had been a while since I had last heard from him. I had texted him till the end of the second day and he had called once after that. It had been 4 or 5 days since then already. I should probably call him when I get the chance to.

"Do you really need to play along with everything they say?" I looked ahead at the ocean. The way the breeze was hitting my face felt good.

"Why? Do you find it uncomfortable?" He asked, looking at me.

"No. Uncomfortable? Please! It's you we're talking about, Hyung." If anything, I had gotten used to it. Moreover, we really were that close. "It's just that I can't really figure out when you're being genuine and when you're just doing it for True."

"Is that why you were looking around? For cameras?"

"It could still be a hidden camera event for all I know." I shrugged.

"Ah. This is no good. You're doubting me…" He said sadly.

"You know better than that, Hyung."

"Just remember this: I'm always genuine." He smiled. "Mm. But you could have come for a walk. It's really pretty and quiet. Since it's so late, no one's really out. And since we're in a foreign country and it's so dark, no one's paying us much heed either. It's nice."

"It's nice here too." I pointed out. "Sorry, Hyung. It's not that I don't want to go for a walk. I'm just really tired."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." I nodded firmly. "Just tired."

"Okay." He turned his eyes to the ocean. "I… was walking with Mingyu."

I brought my eyes back to him. He was clearly telling me that for a reason. "And?"

"Well, we talked. He apologised again."

"It must have hit him really hard that he snapped at you like that."

"It's his family."

I furrowed my brows. "His family, huh? What did he tell you?" I had had a hunch, just like everyone else, that there was more to all that.

"He had not wanted to tell me or anyone but I did not let him off until he told me. Maybe I overstepped and pried but… we should know everything about each other, right? That applied to Mingyu as well."

"Fair enough."

"His whole family is practically in the entertainment industry, right? His mother's a violinist, his father's a famous movie director and his sister's pretty much on her way to becoming a model. He's got so many other relatives in the field too. You would expect someone from that background to get support for what he wanted to do, right?"

"Mingyu hardly talks about his family. I know that they aren't too happy with him becoming an Idol." I nodded. Many of us came from that kind of a background, actually. Even my parents were not too for the idea when I had first told them about it. In Mingyu's case, added to the fact that he received little to no support was the fact that they actually looked down on him- on us. Their names were entire domains in the industry. Mingyu was just one among the many struggling Idols, and before that, trainees. It was unfortunate how they looked at him but it was sadder still that he still looked for their approval. No one could blame him for that though.

We had never really talked to him about it much. They had pretty much left him to do whatever he wanted anyway. He would just talk to them once in a while to tell them that he was doing fine or when they enquired. He was still closer to his sister though.

"We all knew that much but apparently, now that he's become an Idol anyway, they have gone and placed expectations on him. They had been more accepting of things when they heard that Mingyu had been made the leader of S.T.A.Y. Now though, with that incident concerning Yeojun and all the hate that S.T.A.Y has been getting…"

I scoffed. "Don't tell me that they've gone ahead and pinned all of that on him too."

"They said that it reflected poorly on him as the leader. Despite it having been a situation like that, they said that Yeojun shouldn't have acted the way that he did. He was immature. And that Mingyu had not taken enough care. It was his oversight, it seems. He should have known how Yeojun was and he should have never let him go alone."

That was just ridiculous no matter how you looked at it! "Wait. They said that he should have known Yeojun? There's nothing wrong with how our Yeojun is. This is just-" There, I paused, realising something else. "Being the leader, he should know his members."

"Exactly." Jaehyeon nodded. "They made it seem like it was his fault that he did not know. And then, when I revealed that I used to bake like that… Even though it was such a trivial thing…"

I felt really bad. I felt downright awful for Mingyu and also angry for his family. It was hard enough as things were. To think that he had to deal with all that in addition to our regular issues… He had enough to take care of as the leader. "How insensitive!"

"It's so infuriating." Jaehyeon said. "Given how close we are, and especially how those two are as roommates, the fact that they spoke ill of Yeojun as well was just too much."

"And it was that very leader-sense of his that did not allow him to tell us anything about this." The irony!

"Leader… I get that. All of us are careful about what we tell each other regarding our personal issues but we still know if something is up with someone. Even if he had not wanted us to worry and even if he is our leader, I am his Hyung, am I not? If someone I care about is having a hard time, I want to be able to do something about it, even if it is just to listen. What's the point of being the Hyung if I can't even support my Dongsaengs?"

Ah. That hit me hard too. One, it hit me that Jaehyeon looked so helpless. Two, I too was a Hyung here. Even if Mingyu was the leader, he should have felt comfortable about leaning on us a bit.

"At least we know now." I sighed. "It's okay, Hyung." I nudged his arm with a fist. "Don't beat yourself up over it. I think we should all just sit down once we're back home and… talk, you know? Just talk."

"We should. We're together all the time but it really has been a while since we just unwound to each other." He agreed.

I looked out to the sea again.

It would seem that the convenience store incident had set off an entire domino effect.

"Hey, Jeongwoo-ya." Jaehyeon called.

"Mm?"

"Was it really bad that I hadn't revealed my past fancy for baking?" He asked slowly.

I sighed. Domino effect. "Not really. It is true that you didn't really get a chance to bring it up. It's just that the five of us are at a point where we believe that we know everything there is to possibly know about each other. We know each other best. There's nothing about me that you do not know. Speaking for myself, I had thought that I knew everything about you too. I guess I feel a little disappointed that there was something I did not know. That's all. It's not all that bad." So, stop moping over it like that, you big oaf.

"Hm. Is there anything you want to tell us, or me?"

"I already told you. There's nothing about me that you don't know."

"What about Yoo Changmin?"

Hm? "What about Changmin Hyung?"

"Have you ever wished that you had debuted with 04:00 am?"

"To be with Hyung?" I leaned back against my arms and looked up at the star-less sky. "I have."

His head snapped over to me in an instant making me chuckle.

"Obviously, I have thought about it but only in that time before S.T.A.Y debuted. After that, I have often wished that Hyung had debuted with us instead. I love S.T.A.Y. I would rather not be anywhere else. But I do admit that I had wished so at one point."

"I see."

"Yeah. I miss Hyung but it's fine this way." I smiled and looked at him. "Satisfied? Anything else you want to ask?"

"No…" He stared at me for a bit, then shook his head. "No. I believe you if you say that you have told me everything."

"Good." I sat up again. "Hyung, let's go for a walk."

"You just said that you're too tired." He perked up.

I nodded. "Which is why you will lend me your back." I slapped his back lightly.

"I'm tired too, you know?" He smirked.

"Aw, come on, Hyung. I'm that special person who puts up with you, right? You can do this much."

"I swear that if I end up with a back issue later, it'll be on you." He grumbled but got up and crouched before me anyway. "Get on."

"Thanks." I said, placed a hand on his shoulder, supported myself on his shoulder as I stood up and then walked past him.

"Ya… Ya. Ya! Ya!" He called after me in complete disbelief. "What is this?"

"I'm not THAT tired." I shrugged. "I was just testing you."

Jeongwoo…

"'Testing'? You were 'testing' me? Tes- Ugh. Now you've done it. I'm- Ya!"

… run.

I laughed as I ran, my shoes sinking into the sand. This was my first time running on a beach in forever. If I was to experience this, I would much rather experience this with my own two feet and not hitch a ride on someone else's back.

"It's Jeongwoo Hyung!" Yeojun looked my way as I ran towards the other three with Jaehyeon still shouting after me to stop.

"And Jaehyeon Hyung." Hanseol shook his head. "These two just-"

"I'm joining in." Yeojun grinned and began running after me when I passed him. Seeing this, Jaehyeon yelled to him to stop me.

I was slowing down though, completely winded. And soon after, I had Yeojun tackle me to the cold sand, roaring with laughter. Jaehyeon too was with us in the next instant. "You ran so much. You must REALLY be tired now, huh, Jeongwoo-ya?"

"Ah… I am… I'm not… used to… running on the beach…" I breathed heavily and just lay there, arms outstretched on the sand. Yeojun just sat on the sand on my left and Jaehyeon crouched beside me to my right.

"Is that so? Too bad. Who's going to give you a piggy-back ride back to our room now, huh?" Jaehyeon smirked.

"My Yeojun will." I caught Yeojun's hand. "You'll help Hyung… back to his room, won't you, Yeojun-ah?"

Just agree.

"Um… Sure? It isn't going to come to all that though, is it?"

I shrugged. Maybe not.

"What was that about?" Hanseol asked as he and Mingyu joined us.

"Jeongwoo was being a jerk." Jaehyeon sat down on the sand next to me. Hanseol and Mingyu exchanged knowing glances and then sat down with us.

"Really?" I smiled at Jaehyeon.

"Really." He clicked his tongue and looked away, right hand resting on his right knee.

"Jeongwoo, are you okay though? You had said earlier that you were tired." Hanseol asked in concern.

"Mm. I'm okay." I nodded. "This is refreshing."

"This is as refreshing as it gets." Mingyu inhaled deeply. "The beach at night is simply beautiful. Calming."

"It's funny that we need to come all the way to Thailand for this though." Yeojun pointed out. "Not that I have any complaints. This place is nice."

Mingyu perked up. "Let's take a picture."

"Your phone has better night light." Yeojun told Hanseol.

"Now? I'm not getting up." I announced.

"That's fine. We'll just squeeze in." Mingyu said and moved in closer to me as Hanseol took out his phone. Jaehyeon rolled his eyes and turned towards me again, lying on the sand on his side such that he was right above my head, propping his head up on his left arm. Yeojun lay down to my left with his head on my chest. Mingyu was seated to my left and Hanseol was on my right.

"Why am I centre?" I groaned. "I look tired~"

"You look just fine." Jaehyeon patted my head and smoothed down my hair. "You look fine."

"Okay. One… Two… Three." Hanseol counted down and clicked two to three photos. "Okay. Good." He sat up properly after checking them. Mingyu, on the other hand, fell back onto Yeojun's stomach and laced his fingers at his diaphragm.

See? It was perfectly understandable that I had not wanted to get up.

"Can't we just sleep here?" Jaehyeon lay on his back.

"If only!" Mingyu chuckled. "We still have a schedule tomorrow though. Can't afford to fall sick. And the fan-sign event next week."

"But I want to sleep here." Jaehyeon said regardless.

I hummed and closed my eyes. "I'm already asleep."

I heard them laugh lightly and then we all settled into a comfortable silence. If anything, all of us were grateful for this slow and peaceful night.