Chapter 1

My memories, blank; my vision, blank. Where am I, again? Cold metal lays against my cheek. Pain. My whole body hurts. I pull myself up, banging my head into the bars above. Tensing with pain, I lay back down on the metal. I have a headache. The type which makes you think bashing your head into a brick wall would feel better. My world is spinning so fast, I feel motion sick. My stomach growls hungrily, but I ignore it. This isn't the time.

Memories slowly come back to me. A man in black clothing grabbed her. I clench my jaw. I swear I will save you. My body was weak. The only thing I had left was my anger. I feel around my surroundings. All sides; top, bottom, left, right, had metal bars. This metal crate had to be no bigger than a large dog crate. I poke outside of the bars. A rough tarp laid on top of the crate. I feel around more, looking for the door. My vision focuses, letting the darkness not feel so dark.

Something sharp stabs my hand and I pull back. I try to focus my vision more and find a zip tie. Bingo! I pull my legs back and, with full force, kick forward. After a few tries, the door flew across the room, slamming against the wall. I wait for any signs of someone coming, but nothing came. I crawl out and leap up.

How long have I been out? I couldn't find another crate and started running through the house. "Blue!" I quietly shout, hoping no one else is home. I run through a maze of rooms before hearing something coming from down the steps. Noises from another human. I tip toe down the steps and turn my head around the corner.

Sick isn't even a good word to describe how I felt. Blue was laid out, naked. Marks around her neck. The man was too busy to even acknowledge I was there. This man was a psychopath. No, worse.

This man was fucking Blue's lifeless body in front of my eyes.

Holding back vomit, I walk quietly to his clothes laid out on the floor. Going through his pockets, I found a loaded gun. I position it in my hand, smiling, wishing hell upon this person; I call out to him. "Hey." He turns, eyes widened.

Oh, I can't even describe the joy I felt as he jumped towards me. Bang. The bullet hits right into his skull.

Even after everything he did, that monster still dared to fall on her.

I kicked him off and gently pulled her away. "It's going to be okay." I dress her and brush out her hair. "Let's go far from this place." I put her on my back and I walk down the street. I walk to a neighbor's house and calmly ask if they could call 911. They seemed startled, but who wouldn't?

I feel numb. Why are the doctors and police worried about me? Blue is right over there. Why would they pull the blanket over her pretty face? She needs to breathe! "You will smother her!" I scream out. People around me are trying to calm me down. They are hurting her. I have every right to be mad. They wheel her away from me. I can no longer protect her.

The rest of the night was a blur. I remember getting checked out in a hospital then the police came. They asked questions before I could comprehend anything. I wanted to sleep. Forget about the day.

Aunt Bell came and picked me up. Her eyes were puffy and red. She embraced me with a hug, not letting go. "I was so worried!" I weakly hug her back. Doctors were whispering across the room and sending me glances. Blue is fine. Blue is fine. Please say she's fine. I close my eyes.

The next morning, Aunt Bell drove me to her house. She looked exhausted. I broke the silence. "Is Blue okay?" She stays silent. "Please." I mumble. She shakes her head. "Don't worry about her right now. Let's just focus on your safety." I lean my head on the window. My breath fogs the glass.

As we enter the house, the twins throw their arms around me. "We missed you!" Adam wrapped himself around my leg as Abigail jumped onto my back. She may be short, but she could jump really high. My muscles tense in pain and Aunt Bell yells for the twins to get off of me. "Dakota, what do you want for dinner?" I shrug and she hangs her coat. "You're going to stay with us for a few days. Your parents are having some issues." I nod. Of course they are.

"Did they visit you at all?" I shake my head. She walks over and gives me a hug. "It's going to be okay." I dig my face into her shirt, but no tears come. None will, anyway. I've lost the ability to a long time ago.

That night, I stared at the ceiling of the guest bedroom. A lump formed in my throat. I wanted to scream out. I knew Blue was no longer alive, but part of me still hopes. Cars drove by, casting the lights on my ceiling. I turn my head and pull the pillow over my face. I could smother myself right now.

More cars passed, the sun rises. The world kept going. Blue wasn't in it. I was here, but she wasn't. How selfish am I?

The funeral viewing came way too fast. I sat in the pew with my aunt and cousins. They kept pinching each other. How disrespectful. It was getting to the end, and I didn't move. No one was here but us. Her parents were tired and needed to leave. "Dakota, honey, are you going to sit here the whole time?" Her voice echoed. I turn my head, and after a while, stand up and walk to the front.

I look down at her beautiful face. Her hair curled perfectly around her face. Flowers laid all around her. She seemed to glow unhealthily.

Most people describe the dead to look at peace, but she was the complete opposite. She seemed worried, and it made my heart hurt. Of course, she didn't die peacefully.

And it's all my fault.

She trusted me.

I promised to protect her.

She's dead.

She needed me in that moment, and I was asleep. I was complaining about a headache and she was going through hell. One of the worst things that could happen to a human.

I interlock my hand with hers, twirl her golden brown hair, and kiss her on the cheek. She is cold. At that moment, I realized something. I will never see or hear her smile, eyes, liveliness, light, happiness, warmth, kindness, jokes, dances, and everything else she brings ever again.

My knees buckle under me and my face falls into her arm. Sobs echoed throughout the church. After so many years, I cried. She was gone. Just like my brother and father. None of them are coming back. As cruel as it is, that's how life works.

Tomorrow was her burial. Tomorrow I will have to say goodbye for the last time. "Aunt Bell?"

"Yes?" She pulls her car out of the parking lot. "Can we stop at my house?" My throat was dry. I've cried too much. "Sure thing. What do you need?"

"A paper." She gave me a confused look but went, anyway.

My house was to be expected. After my father left, my mom hasn't been coping well. She had convinced, in this case, the mailman, to sleep with her. He was the easiest to convince, even with the family he has at home. It was easy to make it to my room. They were so loud that I didn't need to worry.

Aunt Bell gave me a worried look as I climbed back into the car. "Did you get what you needed?" I nodded, and we drove back to the house. "When will you send me back home?"

"When your mother is ready for you."

I drag myself up to my room and collapse onto the bed. I pinched the piece of paper between my fingers as I dig my head into my pillow. My thoughts drifted to my brother's death. I was younger at the time and didn't fully understand it. Would I have been more upset if I knew he wasn't coming back?

Blue's burial wasn't long after. Her casket was wrapped in blue ribbons. Her favorite color. I held the piece of paper as they lowered her down into her grave. As they comfortably placed her, I threw the piece of paper down. It was supposed to be her birthday gift.

They filled in the hole with fluffy dirt. She didn't deserve to be underneath. That should have been me.

The cool breeze pinches at my tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. Aunt Bell took me home. She stood by her car as she waved me off. "Call if you need anything." I nod and walk inside. My mom was passed out on the couch and the mailman stood awkwardly in the corner. A crash came from the kitchen and I tilted my head to see the source. My dad was punching the cabinets and throwing things.

My chest tightens. Why is he here? "Did you know about this?" He stomps over and grabs me by the collar. His breath smelled of alcohol. "How long?" He spits in my face.

"You abandoned us." He shakes his head. "I'm getting a fucking divorce." He throws me to the ground. "Did you know?" He screamed. I hesitantly nod. "You knew what that slut was up to and yet you did nothing?"

I wanted to run. Get as far from him as possible, but I couldn't move. He raised his hand to smack me. Without thinking, I yelled out. "Fuck you! You're the one that left without warning! You deserve nothing!" I quickly grab my face. Shit.

I turn to the side and try to use my arms as momentum to get up. He grabs me by the ankle, dragging me back. The mailman watched for a few moments before running at my dad. A fight was breaking out, and I ran to the front door.

The cool air nipped at my cheeks. There were so many things I could have done, but I didn't. I anxiously pace the sidewalks, digging my nails into my hand.

Hours had passed with no questions answered. My hand anxiously turned the door nob as I peaked in. Blood, broken bottles, and trash littered the kitchen. I step over the glass and stare at the couch. No one was here. With a sigh, a dart to my bedroom and lock the door. My back slid down the door and I cupped my head in my hands.

Shadows crawled up the walls. The room was getting smaller as I was getting consumed by darkness. Fangs dig into my arms as my breath quickens. Blood spills to the floor. The shadows choke and shove me.

I chuck the blade across my room and the shadows back up. The room goes back to normal and so does my breathing. I clean up my arm and the blood off my floor.

My bed hugs me as I sink into the mattress. I dug my face into the pillow, hoping it would smother me while I sleep. I'm tired. Too tired. Maybe I should kill myself now.

A small light shone under my door. My mother stood outside my door sobbing. "We're moving!" She slammed the door open. "Your father is divorcing me!" Mascara flooded down her cheeks. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she was slurring her words. She glanced over at my trash can. Bloodied tissues overflow the bin. Her gaze slowly moved to face me.

"Why were you bleeding?" My heart sunk. She forced my arm out of the blanket and pulled my sleeve up. In anger, she dug her fingers into some of my healed cuts. "You have nothing to be sad about! You ungrateful brat!" She smacked me across the face. "You're grounded and don't you dare blame any of that on me."

She walked over to my table, taking anything she could find. A blue ribbon fell to the ground. I jumped off the bed and ran for the ribbon. "What is that?" I used my whole body as a shield as she tried to grab the ribbon from me. "No!" I scream out.

"Oh? What is it?" She said through gritted teeth as she shoves me. She successfully grabs the ribbon and laughs. "A ribbon? Really?" She walked out of the room with it. "Wait! Please!" She walked over to the fireplace where a flame stood proudly. Right before it was in reach, she threw the ribbon into the fire.

The blue is mixed with black, red, and orange swirls. My legs trembled, and I collapsed to the ground. That's the last thing Blue gave me before dying.