First kiss ?

At that moment Sakura didn't know what to do. She was cracking under the accumulation of everything that was happening to her. She had lost everyone she cared about, she had to live in a patriarchal era, she had to change the world and its future to bring true peace. But the worst part of it all ? She had to look into the eyes of the person responsible for her pain every day : to care for him, to support him, to teach him to walk again and to guide him to fulfil his destiny. Having to put aside all his crimes, all his future folly, while having to get to know him.

Sakura was smart, but so was Madara, and one day he might figure out her little trick, he'd find out that she'd been lying to him all along, that she'd somehow manipulated him into doing what she wanted. And by extension, what the Rikudô Sennin wanted. Hating the man viscerally, she was sure it would have been hard to get anything good out of him while knowing what he had done in her future. But... that was before she knew the man behind the psychopath : he was obviously a completely different person.

As Sakura lay in Madara's powerful arms, she let herself feel the pain. She was tired of holding it all in, she needed to get it out. He could judge her, criticize her, but she needed to let her pain flow. So it was with her head buried in Madara's black kimono that Sakara wept with all her being. Her body was shaking, her hands were gripping the garment tightly, causing it to crumple slightly. Every now and then, out of desperation, she gave Madara's chest a little tap.

— "Why...," Sakura whispered between sobs. She wasn't asking Madara in particular, but rather the universe. Why her ? Why did this all have to fall on her and not someone else ?

— "Why !?" Sakura asked and suddenly began to scream in despair. The Uchiha didn't move, he was completely paralyzed by the situation. He had seen fellow shinobi break down under the pressure of being a shinobi before, but he had never had to comfort anyone. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to say either. So he did what his mother always did for his father when he came home from a battle : he held her tightly to him.

He had never cried, not even when his father was killed in front of his eyes, nor when his mother died of illness, nor when Tobirama killed his brother. He had never cried with sadness... but he had cried with rage !

Four months ago he would have thought Sakura's attitude was totally weak and that it was related to her being a woman, but that was before he knew her. She was a strong woman, who didn't let herself be defeated and who, like him, had to know the hard reality of life. So he said nothing and let the young woman cry out in despair in his arms. He made those gestures that his mother used to make : he gently stroked her back with one hand and gently ran the fingers of his other hand through her hair. He gradually spread his chakra around him to calm and comfort her. He understood that she needed to somehow empty what was inside her, so he didn't burst his chakra like last time, he gave her time.

— "Why me !?" Sakura shouted and Madara felt his heart clench with so much pain. Why was her condition affecting him so much ? Why did he feel the need to help her so much ? Why did he want to know the reason for her grief and pain so badly ? Why did he want to gut the people responsible so badly ?

— "Because life is a bitch," Madara whispered, holding her a little tighter to him. Somehow he understood Sakura's question. Why does she always have to take away the people who are close to us ? Why does she always have to take away the people we love ?

— "It's not fair !" Sakura said with a broken voice.

— "Hai," agreed Madara, who was one of the people best placed to understand her. "But it's because life is unfair that we fight..."

— "I'm tired... of... fighting," Sakura cried, she couldn't take the pressure, the loneliness anymore. She wanted to see all the people she loved again, to hold them close.

— "Do you want to make the sacrifice of your loved ones so much more futile ?" Madara asked in Sakura's ear.

— "No... but what's the point of fighting ? When you have nothing left," Sakura continued.

— "Life is a bitch, Sakura-san, it puts us through many trials throughout our lives," Madara explained, still stroking the young woman's back. "And it's up to us to overcome them... and..."

Sakura was slowly calming down thanks to Madara's chakra and presence. It was ironic to tell you that the person responsible for your suffering was also responsible for your well-being.

— "And ?" Sakura whispered as she slowly loosened her fists and began to enjoy the shinobi's proximity.

— "And you're not alone..." Madara admitted after a short moment.

— "What... what do you mean ?" Sakura asked confused.

However, she got no answer, except for a more comforting hug. Something different than just a friendly hug. Even without words, it seemed to have a deeper meaning. Indeed, he would have liked to tell her that she had him, that he would avenge her on those who had hurt her, but he had too much pride to express it openly.

— "Close your eyes..."

They remained in this position for many minutes. Madara gradually increased his presence with his energy allowing the young woman to pull herself together. She forgot for a moment who he was and concentrated on the feeling of well-being that was gradually invading her. She had again that feeling of protection that only her father could provide, accompanied by a wave of... love ?

— "Gomen."

She pulled herself out of his embrace before wiping her cheeks with her opaline green jumper. She was somehow ashamed of having fallen for him, so she didn't look him in the eye and returned to her kitchen. The papillotes she had prepared were almost ready.

— "Please," Madara replied, wanting to continue the embrace. He returned to his seat and poured himself another glass of sake. He enjoyed the smell of it once more before drinking it straight down like Sakura had done. Usually he preferred to savor the alcohol, but with his thoughts completely messed up he needed a pick-me-up.

— "It'll be ready soon Madara-san," Sakura said with the occasional sniff.

— "Sakura-san."

— "Hai ?" Said the concerned girl without turning from her preparation.

— "Who taught you to drink like that ?" Asked Madara who was very surprised to see a woman with such an easy way down.

— "Have you never seen a woman drink ?" Sakura retorted with a touch of humor. This had the desired effect, as the dark-haired man laughed, which made the young woman smile.

— "Yes, I've seen women drink before, but not this much," Madara said delighted to see her smile.

— "Mother...," Sakura said thinking back to all her evenings with Tsunade Senju. "She was an alcoholic and could bed anyone when it came to alcohol."

The number of times she had seen Tsunade drunk dead. Whether it was from overwork, the loss of Jiraiya or just for fun. These memories brought a delicate smile to her face.

— "She would have gotten along well with my brother."

— "Did he drink a lot ?" Sakura asked as she opened the papillotes and poured them onto two plates.

— "Once he was so drunk I caught him courting a flower," Madara laughed as he recalled the memory. He missed his brother terribly, but these pleasant moments had a way of making him smile.

In fact, Sakura laughed.

— "I can't imagine an Uchiha seducing a flower. It must be worth its weight in gold," Sakura imagined, she was actually feeling better because of what Madara was doing, making her laugh.

— "I'll admit I blackmailed him and laughed at him for a long time," Madara laughed as he watched the young woman place a plate in front of his eyes and sit down next to him. It was a plate of vegetables with white fish.

— "How is your brother Madara-san ?" Sakura asked as she picked up her pair of chopsticks. "Itadakimasu."

— "Itadakimasu," Madara said in turn before picking at his plate. God she could cook well. "Was... he's no longer of this world."

— "Gomen."

— "Let's just say my brother was the smiliest of the five of us," Madara confessed.

— "Five ?"

— "Mother gave birth to five brothers," Madara explained, and then went back to her memories. A slight pall of sadness settled in his eyes before he buried the feeling deep inside. "Since I'm the oldest and he's the youngest, he may have taken it upon himself to support me, and he couldn't think of anything better than to make me smile in every situation."

— "He seemed like a good person," Sakura remarked as she popped a piece of carrot in her mouth.

— "Yes and no, he could be a complete idiot at times," Madara replied, remembering his many foolishness.

— "I guess it runs in the family then," Sakura added sarcastically.

— "Hn ! Saké ?" Madara said before pouring himself another cup of sake.

— "Please," Sakura nodded as the dark-haired man filled her cup.

— "Did you have any siblings ?" Madara asked before savoring his glass of alcohol as opposed to Sakura who swallowed it in one gulp.

— "I'm an only child and I think it's for the best. Father had enough problems with two women in the house," Sakura said, causing Madara to laugh again.

— "I can't imagine the poor man having to put up with two women like you," the dark-haired man joked as he slowly felt the alcohol relax him. He wasn't someone who drank often, as it altered the mind and as a ninja he had to be on top of his game at all times. But the situation meant that he could afford a little drink.

— "He never complained about it anyway. How were your other brothers Madara-san ?" Sakura continued, her face slowly starting to heat up.

— "I don't remember much...the war took them away from us too quickly," the Uchiha replied, remembering the conflict against the Senju clan.

— "What were your parents like ?" Sakura questioned, very interested in learning about these aspects of the man's life beside her.

— "You seem very curious Sakura-san."

— "Let's just say I'd like to know the people who made you who you are today."

His parents ? It was a subject he hadn't discussed in many years. His father had died on the field of honor defending the ideals of the Uchiha clan, and his mother was taken by disease. He still remembered what his father had said to him just before he died : You only become an adult when your parents are gone.

He would have preferred to be proud of his sons, but no, he always did everything to toughen them up or lecture them, even at the point of death. His father had done everything to make his children powerful in order to protect those who would be dear to them. But what was the point ? Madara was now alone, his parents and brothers were dead. And the members of his clan turned their backs on him despite his warnings and those of his brother Izuna.

Recalling all these memories Madara poured himself another glass of sake and drank it down for the second time, he needed it.

— "Father was...," Madara began before sighing as he refilled his glass. "A very proud man...honor and family came before everything else. His whole life was about the clan and its safety... at the same time, he was the leader."

— "Like many clan leaders..."

— "Father and Butsuma Senju, Hashirama's father, were both fanatics. Their clans were borderline religious to them, so much so that any friendship I might have had with Hashirama was considered heresy," the clan leader recounted before toasting his new drink with Sakura. "I'll remember for the rest of my life the right I took for not killing Hashirama when I was younger..."

— "I think your childhood was more difficult than mine," Sakura admitted as she recalled her childhood which was in a time of peace and covered in love. She had lived in the security and tenderness of a family.

— "I didn't really have a childhood Sakura-san. Being the son of a clan leader imposes certain responsibilities. Having a front row seat to the cruelty of the world makes you grow up fast... and that's why I decided to bring peace," the dark-haired man admitted under the influence of alcohol. They had both finished their meal and were slowly finishing the bottle in front of them.

— "Maybe, but that's what made you the man you are today..."

— "Well... not such a great success," Madara retorted sarcastically, he's practically failed at everything he's done.

— "Don't say that," Sakura tried to comfort him.

— "What do you know !?" Madara snarled through grief and alcohol. "Did you see your entire family exterminated in front of you ? Did you have to look into the whites of your mother's eyes and tell her that three of her children were dead ? Did you see your mother die slowly with the despair of not being able to do anything but watch her die ? Did you see your brother sacrifice himself for the sake of your clan ? Did you fail your brother and father's last wish ?!"

— "No... but I did see my family, my friends, my village, and everyone who mattered disappear before my eyes... because of the war," Sakura replied softly, staring at the table. They were both the same, shattered and bruised by the cycle of hatred. "You, unlike me, still have family... God, I can't believe I'm having a contest to see who suffered the most with you..."

— "What were your parents like ?" Madara sighed, trying to calm down.

— "Unlike you, I was lucky to have loving parents... they were always there for me, especially my mother," Sakura began, thinking of her real mother. "Father was afraid of her in a way."

— "If you got your strength from her, I can understand why," Madara laughed gently. "And I never said mother wasn't loving, I just didn't see her often."

— "Did your parents love each other ?" Sakura dared to ask.

— "I don't know what you mean by loving. But I do know that Mother was one hundred percent devoted to Father," Madara reflected, remembering the rare moments with his mother. "Yes, I think Mother loved my father from her many speeches."

— "And you, what do you think ?" Sakura asked, letting the alcohol do the talking for her. The bottle they had drunk was quite strong and at the rate they drank it, it was normal for tongues to wag and boldness to take place.

— "What do you mean ?" The Uchiha questioned, not understanding.

— "What do you think about what your mother was feeling ?"

— "I've already answered you."

— "I'm talking about now... not a month ago," Sakura whispered with an intense look. Madara turned his gaze to the young woman who was slightly red. "I'm not blind Madara-san."

Madara did not respond to the shinobi's hint. Yes, he had been feeling different for some time, he had sensations he couldn't explain, thoughts that puzzled him and urges that he repressed.

But was that sentence an invitation ? Or was it the alcohol talking for him ? The fact remains that both protagonists were having difficulty thinking straight. The contradictions, mixed with what their hearts desired, were driving both people crazy. After all the confessions, discoveries, Madara and Sakura stared at each other and you could see the desire in their eyes. Their breaths were slightly jerky and Sakura's hair was slightly disheveled.

With his second arm almost healed, the dark-haired man gave in to his impulses. He was tired of containing himself, of keeping it all inside. He didn't know what it was, but he wanted to find out. He stood up and grabbed Sakura by the waist and pinned her against the wall behind her. He supported her with his strength alone, his pelvis pressed against hers. Her feet barely touched the ground.

Madara held one of his hands in hers while the other was on her cheek, caressing her. He could see her eyes flicker slightly at the touch. She wanted it as much as he wanted it. He could feel the softness of her skin as she placed her hand on his chest to caress him hungrily. He brought his lips close to her face, his jet-black gaze almost drowning in an ocean of turquoise, but he stopped short, they were only an inch apart.

They could both feel each other's heartbeat, the hot breath with each breath, and above all : the blazing desire in their eyes.

— "No matter how long it takes, no matter what I have to do, you...," Madara began, not quite believing his own words, his eyes burning. "You'll be mine Sakura-san !"

— "So... what are you waiting for ?" Sakura provoked, she only wanted to feel his warm lips on hers. To drown in all this passion, to feel wanted and perhaps loved.

— "That's all I can think of and has been for a long time... but..."

— "So make me your... what's holding you back ?" Sakura interrupted, unable to take it anymore.

Madara moved a little closer, their lips brushing together, but he finally moved to her ear, not without brushing her cheek in the process. She could feel a chill run through her body at the mere touch.

— "I don't want that Sakura... I don't want someone who's under the influence of alcohol...," Madara whispered before taking the time to articulate each word. "The one I want... is... my... Sakura !"

Madara was pulling away, but Sakura wasn't hearing it that way. She was tired of being constantly pushed away. All her life the man she had loved had refused her advances and now that she was offering herself to someone else she was once again rejected. Anger filled Sakura as she grabbed Madara by the collar and pulled him closer to her face.

— "You should be happy ! I'm offering you my body without reluctance ! Isn't that the only way you see women ? Just good at spreading their thighs to satisfy you ?" Sakura spat resentfully, she was after all only asking for a little love in her world. The Uchiha placed both hands on Sakura's to gently make her let go

— "I may be a man with base instincts...," Madara defended himself as he loosened his grip on the young woman. "But I'm not a rapist !"

Madara turned his back on her and walked with difficulty towards his bed, he leaned against the wall and the furniture. Sakura slid back against the wall and once again began to cry, this time in anger and frustration.

Day 131

Pain, those were Sakura's first thoughts as she woke up. She had a horrible headache without understanding why. The slightest sound echoed in her head, the light assaulted her eyes and all she wanted to do was bury her head in the pillow and go back to sleep.

She tried to think of what could have caused such a situation, but it wasn't easy with her skull drumming. Then after a moment she remembered drinking alcohol with Madara Uchiha after he had asked his question. But she had the feeling that she was forgetting something, she had the feeling that she was missing something important, but what ?

So after a long hour of waking up, going back to sleep, and finally waking up with the same headache and fatigue, Sakura decided to get out of bed.

— "Hunn, my head... my kingdom for an aspirin," Sakura complained to herself as she got up. Except that the transition to standing was too quick and a dizziness overcame her, forcing her to sit down again. "Oh dear... I don't know what I consumed yesterday, but never again."

Then, after about ten minutes, Sakura reached her kitchen to fill a large glass of water. She put an aspirin in the glass and tried to recall the events of last night as the tablet slowly dissolved with the effervescence caused by the water's contact with it.

She glanced at the table : two bottles of sake. No wonder she had such a headache. Then, little by little, memories of the previous day came flooding back to her in fits and starts. The more she remembered of the evening, the more she hoped she hadn't revealed anything too incriminating about the future.

It would seem not, but she felt as if she had forgotten something... something embarrassing : but what ?

She swallowed her medicine before rubbing her temples with her Iryô Ninjutsu to speed up the process. Then suddenly, a part of what she had done came back to her memory.

— "Oh no... I didn't dare to do that ?" Sakura realized, not quite believing it herself. She hadn't remembered the part where Madara had confessed, but the part where she offered herself to him was crystal clear. Probably because of the effect of the anger she felt at that moment. "How am I going to look him in the eye ?"

As she wondered how she was going to face him, another thought occurred to her : he had refused her advances. Why had he refused her advances ? Why hadn't he taken advantage of her ? Any self-respecting man would have jumped at the chance to sleep with a woman, but not him. Was she not attractive to him ? No, she had seen his looks, his blushes, his hidden compliments, he should have and could have taken advantage of her...

— "Stop thinking Sakura... you're hurting yourself more than anything else," the young woman reassured herself.

— "Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity," Madara said as he leaned in the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed. At the sound of his voice, Sakura jerked her head up to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But as soon as she saw him she immediately lowered her head again. "From your current state, I don't think you inherited your mother's tolerance for alcohol."

A simple grunt came from Sakura's throat and she didn't dare look him in the eye. She was so ashamed of her actions, especially since by Madara's tone he seemed to be quite cold.

— "Please Madara-san, no sarcasm when I feel like I've had a mountain dropped on my head," Sakura said and walked towards the living room without glancing at Madara, too embarrassed. "Please sit in your usual place."

The Uchiha wanted to confront her, to know if she remembered everything they had said the day before. But did he really want to now that the alcohol was no longer there to encourage him ? So it was with his mouth closed that the dark-haired man went to his usual place to continue the restoration of his left arm.

— "Roll up your sleeve," Sakura explained and then rolled up her own. She glanced down at her plans on the easel. "Okay, get ready, in three, two, one..."

The pain was still there, but it wasn't as bad as it had been at first, it was much more bearable. Probably because the Tenketsus that Sakura was now targeting were smaller than the first ones. Once the Tenketsu regenerated, Sakura turned to her plans to check it off. She was almost done, another ten or so and Madara's arm would be fully restored.

After the fourth point of chakra was restored, Madara was getting tired of the heavy silence and the evasive look the young woman gave him. He grabbed Sakura's chin between his fingers and forced her to look him in the eye. However, even though he had placed his face towards hers, her gaze was still evasive : she was ashamed.

— "What's done is done Sakura-san," Madara said coldly with a hard look on his face. "There are two things in life that you can't take back : The kunai thrown and the words spoken.

— "It's obvious that you weren't the one making a fool of yourself yesterday."

— "Look at me !" Madara ordered. Perhaps it was the shame of her actions, or the imposing presence of the dark-haired man, but Sakura obeyed and looked into his eyes. "The only thing you can do after these two things is face the consequences."

— "But..."

— "Do you think my brother Izuna was proud of himself the next day when he found out he'd made a fool of himself by courting a flower ? No, he was ashamed and that's normal," Madara comforted, inwardly disappointed that she made no reference to his confession. "Yesterday you were weak, fragile, distressed, so don't be ashamed and own your actions."

— "Gomen," Sakura whispered and felt like hiding in a mouse hole.

— "I don't want your excuses Sakura-san. As much as I enjoyed some of the things I did last night, I didn't like seeing Sakura acting like a... prostitute," Madara added and received a hard look from the young woman. "You don't have to give me the stink eye, that's what you were last night ! And if I didn't have the respect I have for you, I would have abused you without hesitation !"

The truth was always hard to hear, especially when it was thrown in your face. But in all that truth, Madara had just stated a second time that he respected her, but also that he would have gladly slept with her and this revelation made Sakura blush.

— "Now Sakura-san ! Act like the woman I've grown to love and get that pitiful look off your face !" Madara ordered as he let go of the young woman's face.