Chapter 18: Move On

*Begin of Flashback

He was greeted by warm sunlight as he stepped out of the portal. He turned his head to check his surroundings, noticing that he was in the area where he had wanted to arrive. He was on the beach of Sunstrider Isle but he was not alone. Sylvanas and their children were with them. The three-year-old children stood between their parents, their blue eyes were widened and excitement was clearly visible on their cute faces.

They have never been to the beach. It was the first time they saw the endless sea and soft yellow sand. There were lots of creatures gathered on the beach. Most of creatures were high elves but there were also lots of humans, some dwarves and even gnomes. Most visitors were in the water while a small portion remained on the coast and ate ice cream, sunbathed themselves or did other things. The ones in the water were swimming, diving, splashed others with water or were just having fun. Everyone was in a happy mood and enjoyed the wonderful weather on this wonderful day.

It was much warmer than usual. The high temperatures hadn't allowed Sylvanas to fully concentrate on her work, so she had decided to work off the documents on her desk on another day. She had decided to make use of the wonderful weather to go to the beach with her family.

Usually, Sylvanas didn't go to beaches because she got everyone's attention whenever she showed up in a bikini no matter which colour it had and how much skin it covered. She had decided to ignore those who would only stare at her all the time and take a closer look at her slim but muscular body. That day she didn't care if they would see anything, so she had decided to wear a bikini she liked. A bikini Kelrian would love. She was sure he would enjoy the view.

She wore her favourite blue bikini. The top piece accentuated her big breasts pretty well and the bottom piece left nothing to the imagination. Her well-formed ass looked much better in bikini panties than in the leggings of her uniform and that had to mean something. She didn't need to look at the people in her near to know that many pairs of eyes rested on her ass and her breasts.

But her rounds were not the only parts of her gorgeous body people were staring at. Her muscular upper body, especially her abs, and her smooth legs were also a feast for the eyes of most people.

But Sylvanas didn't need the confirmations of others. She never had. She knew she looked good, so she didn't need anyone to tell her how good she looked. Nevertheless, she was happy that a certain man always told her how good she looked. Kelrian was the only one who was allowed to heap compliments on her. He was her boyfriend and not just one of her many admirers who longed for her attention.

Kelrian loved her with all his heart. He loved her for the woman she was and not for her looks. He couldn't deny that he was heavily attracted by her but he would also love her if she would look different or much less beautiful. Looks didn't matter to him. She was his soulmate. The love of his life. The only person he wanted to impress. She was his world. His everything.

She had been the most important person in his life until the birth of their children. Since their birth, she had to share that spot with the twins. But she didn't mind that. As long as no other woman was as important as her to him, she was fine with sharing that spot. She loved her children and she was glad Kelrian loved them the same way. He was a good father and would do anything for his children. They were a happy couple and loved their children more than anything or anyone else.

Sylvanas turned her head and smiled at her lover, receiving a happy smile in return. She let her gaze wander, regarding him from head to toe. He was only wearing green swimming trunks that reached to his knees. His toned abs and his muscular chest were uncovered. His long blond hair was combed to the left side, his piercing blue eyes stared into hers. He carried a beach ball under his left arm and a curled-up beach mat under his other arm, a towel hung over his left shoulder.

Sylvanas also had a towel and a beach mat with her. She also carried a large sunshade in her left hand. Raesh and Sylvera wore swimsuits, each of them had a pair of water wings and a rubber ring. Sylvanas and Kelrian were extremely careful in that matter. They only wanted the best for their children, so they made sure that they wouldn't sink and drown in case something would happen while they wouldn't look at them for a few moments.

"Let's find a nice place where there aren't too many people. I want to relax without having to fear that too many people would stare at me," said Sylvanas.

Soft laughter escaped Kelrian's lips. "Did you forget that people follow you wherever you go? Especially if you wear such a nice bikini like this one. The others won't stop looking at you and try to be as close as possible to you. It won't be easy to find a spot where we can relax without someone disturbing us."

"Don't worry about that. The people will leave us in peace, otherwise, they will be banished from the beach as long as we remain there. They won't bother us. All they will do is staring at me."

"That's bad enough."

Sylvanas chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "Jealous?"

Kelrian shook his head. "Of course not."

"Good. Let's go, my love."

Kelrian's gaze wandered from her head to her toes and then back to her head. His eyes had rested on her breasts much longer than he had intended to, making the Ranger-General smile at him in amusement. She knew that it was very hard for her lover to resist her and avert his gaze from her perfectly shaped body. It was already a challenge when she wore her uniform. Turning his gaze away from such a sexy view was much more difficult.

Sylvanas chuckled and stared into his eyes for a few moments before she looked at the twins and signalized them to choose a spot where they wanted to rest. The kids started to run and chose a spot that was not far away from an ice cream stand. Sylvanas and Kelrian giggled as they figured out the main reason for that decision. The kids just wanted to eat as much ice cream as would fit in their tiny bellies.

The couple knew their kids wouldn't stop begging until they would get what they wanted. They knew it was pointless to deny their request. They would get their wills eventually but Sylvanas and Kelrian only allowed them to get their wills when it came to ice cream. In other aspects, they remained strict and told the twins that they couldn't get everything they wanted. The twins knew how far they could go and what their parents would never allow them. They were pretty smart for their age.

Sylvanas and her lover arrived at the spot eventually and spread out their beach mats. She stuck the handle of the sunshade so far into the sand that it stood firm. She made sure that the shadow it cast covered the four mats. Kelrian put the beach ball aside and laid down on his mat, putting the sunglasses, that stuck in his hair, on his nose. He stretched his arms out and regarded the bright midday sun.

He regarded the sun for a few minutes before she looked at the only 'thing' that was much more beautiful than the sun. Sylvanas stood next to him, her hands rested on her hips, her soft and perfectly shaped lips formed a wide and happy smile. Her gorgeous eyes rested on him for nearly two minutes before they fell on the three-year-olds who had started to play with the beach ball that was half as tall as them. They kicked the ball to each other or lifted it up and threw it at each other.

Sylvanas joined them after a few minutes and even Kelrian did that eventually even though he had planned to just lay on his mat and relax. They played for a while until the children had enough and wanted to eat ice cream. Their parents took them to the ice cream stand and allowed them to have two scoops of ice cream. Their parents also ordered two scoops for themselves because the ice cream was perfect to deal with the hot temperatures.

They paid the seller and returned to their spot, enjoying the cold and delicious ice cream. Raesh and Sylvera ate their ice cream happily, not caring that the remains stuck on the lower halves of their faces when they were done. Sylvanas took a few wet wipes out of her backpack and cleaned their faces, running her fingers through their blonde hair when she was done. The kids regarded their parents with wide smiles on their lips, asking them if they could build a sandcastle.

Sylvanas had nothing against it, so she gave them permission to do that, chuckling when she saw the happy expressions on their faces. Kelrian gave them their sandbox toys and told them to be careful near the water if they wanted to use wet sand for their castles. The children nodded and walked as fast as they could until they reached the wet sand.

The couple regarded them while they were having fun that but they weren't idle in the meantime. Sylvanas had closed the sunshade and began to take a sunbath.

"You should put sunscreen on your skin," Kelrian said after a minute had passed.

"You are right." She got up and took a small yellow bottle out of her backpack, handing it over to her lover who took it without hesitation. Kelrian didn't hesitate to rub the white liquid on his palms, putting them on her upper body. He stared into her eyes as she spread the sunscreen over her smooth skin. He started with her stomach and let his hand move up until they reached her breasts. A small, teasing grin could be seen on Sylvanas' lips as he hesitated. She chuckled and took his hands, putting them on her breasts. She covered them with hers and encouraged him to rub her large breasts and cover them with sunscreen that way.

Kelrian got lost in her piercing eyes, forgetting that other people were around them and most likely watching them. He rubbed her breasts longer than necessary. He only stopped when Sylvanas' cleared her throat and brought him back to reality. Kelrian blushes when he realized that he had removed her bra and put sunscreen on the spots which were usually covered by the blue piece of cloth. He helped Sylvanas to put it back on, asking her to forgive him.

Sylvanas smirked. "It's fine, my love. I don't mind others seeing my breasts. They have been exposed for nearly five minutes but I don't mind that. But next time when you put sunscreen on my body make sure you don't undress me in the process."

Kelrian's cheeks became redder, he nodded several times and apologized to her once again. Sylvanas just smiled and signalized him to continue what he had started. He put sunscreen on her smooth legs, waited until she laid on her front and then started to spread the liquid over her back. He massaged her back and her shoulders a little, smiling when his ears heard quiet moans escaping her lips.

His eyes rested on their children while he continued to massage her, noticing that their castles looked more like piles of mud than actual sandcastles. He hadn't expected anything else. They were only three years old but the most important thing was that they enjoyed building these piles of mud. Raesh and Sylvera smiled at their parents whenever they looked. Their tiny hearts started to beat faster and happiness was reflected by their expressions when their mother and father told them how good their creations looked.

*End of Flashback

Kelrian clearly remembered that day after all these years. He remembered that he and Sylvanas had gone into the water and swam a little while their children had continued to build sandcastles. The three-year-olds had joined them eventually and walked into the water until it had reached their navels. Later they had gone further into the water and swam a little with the help of their water wings and their rubber rings. They had had so much fun that day.

This memory was one of Kelrian's favourites. The kids had been happier than ever and Sylvanas had also enjoyed that day. He had held her hand while they had taken a sunbath and even cuddled a little. They had shared kisses, some of them had endured much longer than others. The day had been perfect. He had been able to spend time with his usually busy lover and their children.

There were lots of other good memories Kelrian remembered from time to time. His marriage proposal, their wedding and the wedding night, their honeymoon in Elwynn Forest near Stormwind City and many other good memories. Those memories were everything that he had left of Sylvanas.

Sylvanas had been murdered by Arthas. She had been raised to serve the death knight and do whatever he wanted. She was gone and all Kelrian had left were the memories. Well, that was not the entire truth. He still had a few mementoes left of her, for example, the necklace she had gifted him before he joined the defence of Lordaeron fifteen years ago. He also still had the special arrow with her initials engraved in its tip and in its nock, which she had given him the same day.

Her wedding ring was still on his wedding finger and he had never thought of removing it. He didn't want to remove or throw away anything that had belonged the love of his life. These objects were still reminding him of the painful truth but he couldn't get rid of them even if he wanted to. He didn't want to get rid of them. He wanted to keep everything that was left of Sylvanas, even if seeing these objects pained him.

They always reminded him of the sad truth. Sylvanas was gone and would never return. She may not be technically dead but her fate was worse than death. She had been turned into a killing machine. The famous and beloved Ranger-General had been turned into a monster that was killing those she had sworn to protect. That creature was no longer his dear wife. Sylvanas was gone and that creature was nothing more than an abomination that looked like his wife but was not her.

Kelrian had lost lots of comrades and friends in the past. Many died in the Second War and many died when Arthas invaded Quel'Thalas. He had lost many of his friends, many comrades who had fought by his side and even members of his family. Lireesa was most likely dead, his mother, his younger siblings and Turalyon were still missing. It was very likely that they were dead too. But he didn't lose hope as long as he hadn't seen their corpses. He may feel bad and he may be unable to come to terms with Sylvanas' death but he still hadn't lost hope that his other relatives were still alive.

The hope that his relatives were still alive was one of the reasons why grief had not consumed him ' death had left a deep hole inside him. A hole which couldn't be filled so easily. He couldn't stop thinking about her no matter what he did. He often tried to think about something else but sooner or later, he always started to think about his wife.

He was not able to banish her out of his head. Whenever he was not doing anything, she came in his mind and reminded him of what he had lost. He had lost the love of his life. She had been taken away from him. There had been nothing he could have done to prevent her death.

He had not been there when Arthas struck her down. He wished he had been. He wished he had been by her side when Arthas approached her. He was convinced he could have saved her. He would have been able to create a portal and flee with her to Quel'Danas. If only he had been there by her side when she made her last stand.

But he had obeyed her request and gone to Windrunner Village to bring their family to safety. These days, he was regretting that he had listened to her. He should have stayed by her side and fought with her. He could have saved her if he had been there.

He knew he had had no other choice back then. It was his duty to always follow the orders of his superiors and Sylvanas had been his Ranger-General, so he had had no other choice than to obey her. He could have returned to the second gate once he had brought his family to Quel'Danas. That way, he may have saved her. He believed that at least.

His world had been turned upside down when Sylvanas died. His hopes and dreams had been shattered when Arthas struck her down and raised her to let her suffer. His life was no longer the same. He couldn't stop thinking of her while he had a clear head. All he could do was to drown his problems in alcohol and hope it would make things easier for him. It helped him but only a little. And only temporarily.

It didn't make him forget his problems but he didn't want to forget Sylvanas. He just wanted to come to terms with her death. He wanted to remember her without getting depressed. But it didn't work as he had hoped for. Thinking about her was still painful. Even all the good memories about her didn't help him in the long run. He couldn't stop thinking about her without feeling shattered. It was impossible to not grieve when thinking about her, no matter how hard he tried it. He was unable to get over her death.

Kelrian heard that the door was opened and a person came in. He still sat in his armchair and looked in the opposite direction, so he had no idea who had just entered the room. The person didn't move to him. They just stood next to the door and let their eyes wander.

"Father?" a familiar voice asked. Kelrian knew that his son wanted something from him. But he didn't react to him and just brought the bottle to his lips to take another sip, realizing that it was empty. The teenager was unable to recognize anything in the room, so he turned the light on, spotting his father who was sitting in his armchair which was surrounded by lots of empty bottles. The room was still a mess and even looked worse than the last time Raesh had entered it.

Raesh had no other choice than to stare at the floor while moving to prevent that he would stumble over one of these bottles. He reached the armchair, noticing that his father was about to open another bottle. Raesh thought about taking it out of his hands but he decided against it because he didn't want to make his father upset. He knew his father pretty well. He was not a violent person or someone who got angry pretty quickly. But he also knew that his father was not himself when was drunk. Raesh was smart enough to not provoke him. Instead, he tried to reach him with words, hoping he could stop him from drinking.

"Don't you think you drank enough, father? Raesh's voice was quiet and thin. His blue glowing eyes rested on his father's face. Recognizing him had become much harder over the past weeks. His hair was messy and greasy and he was unshaved. There was not enough hair on his chin to call it a , Kelrian looked much different with facial hair. Usually, he shaved regularly but since Sylvanas' death, he no longer cared for his looks.

Raesh assumed that the main reason for that was that he was too lazy to do that. Lazy was not the right word. Raesh would rather say that he was too busy drinking and mourning for his wife. He found no time to shave and no longer had the desire to pay attention to the way he looked. Maybe because he had always wanted to look good for Sylvanas and now that she was dead, he had no motivation to take care of his appearance. Raesh thought that at least.

It pained him to see his father in that state. He felt bad when seeing him suffering while trying to cope with the death of his beloved wife. Her death had also turned up Raesh's world and changed everything for him. But it hadn't hit him as hard as it had hit his father. He could understand that his father couldn't handle the pain.

His father knew his mother for nearly thirty years and they had been together for over eighteen years, so it was understandable that losing her had hit him had also lost many friends and most of the comrades he had worked with since he had been recruited. He had not only lost his wife, his mother-in-law but also a few of his closest friends.

Raesh had no idea how his father was feeling at the moment. But he assumed that the memories of the past and the things he had seen were haunting him. He wished he could help his father somehow but he had no idea how. He wished he would stop drinking but he didn't believe he would ever be able to convince him to do so.

There were many different ways to mourn people and deal with their deaths. Raesh had mourned for the ones he lost in a different way. He had remembered the good moments he had had with his mother and his grandmother. He had regarded photos of them and talked about them with his aunts and other members of his family. He was not over their deaths yet but he no longer felt very sad and shattered when thinking about them. It was still not easy to speak and think about them but it had become much better in the past weeks. He was able to speak about them without breaking out in tears.

His father, on the other hand, had chosen a different way to deal with the events of the past. Raesh knew his father's way was not the right way but there was nothing he could do for him. He refused to talk with him and he rarely left his room. He had only left the house to follow Elena somewhere. Raesh had no idea where he went but he guessed that nothing good had happened. His father had returned angrily and threw some of the empty bottles through his room. Glass shards were still lying on the floor because Kelrian had refused to pick them up.

"What do you want, Raesh?" Kelrian responded after a few minutes.

"I'm worried about you. You always told me that alcohol is no solution. Nevertheless, you have consumed so much alcohol in the past few weeks. Don't you think you should stop drinking and try to help our people to reconquer Quel'Thalas?"

Sad laughter escaped Kelrian's lips. "I offered them my aid but they didn't want it. They said I would only get myself killed and endanger the others if I join them. What should I do if they don't allow me to come with them?"

The boy raised an eyebrow, regarding his father closely. "I'm pretty sure they said that because you were drunk. They would allow you to help if you are sober and have a clear mind again."

"I'm not drunk," said Kelrian, trying to sound serious. He didn't succeed.

Raesh leaned forward and turned up his nose. He was hit by a strong smell of alcohol. "Your breath says the opposite."

"I'm still able to fight," Kelrian mumbled.

Raesh hesitated for a moment. "I doubt that, to be honest."

Kelrian titled his head, his eyes narrowed. Raesh's heart started to beat faster and his skin suddenly began to tingle. "Are you telling me you share their opinion? Do you agree with them?"

Raesh felt unwell while his father was staring at him with this dangerous look on his face. He had never looked at him like that before. It was obvious that Kelrian was upset even though his son hadn't done anything wrong. It was the alcohol that had made him behave like that.

Normally, he didn't get angry after exchanging a few words with anyone. The alcohol made him to a furious beast with a short fuse. But Kelrian was able to control himself at the last moment and prevent that the alcohol would make him do something he would never want to do. He managed to prevent to do anything he would regret later.

Raesh bit his bottom lip softly. "Well...Kinda. I think they made the right decision when they forbid you to join them as long as you are drunk. You'll only get hurt or worse. I don't want to lose you. I already lost mother and Lyndia. I don't know if Sylvera or grandma are still alive. I already lost enough people who were very important to me, so I can't lose you too. You can't do that to me, father..."

Kelrian was silent as he thought about Raesh's words. The young teenager just stood there in the meantime and regarded him. They remained silent, none of them had any idea what to say. The silence was unpleasant but they didn't break it. They were just staring at each other and did nothing else for a while. Kelrian cleared his throat eventually. "You are probably right."

Raesh nodded but didn't say anything in return.

"I promised your mother to protect you and move on. I failed her. I have no idea where Sylvera is and I spent the past weeks trying to drink my problems away instead of looking for her. I failed her. I failed you and I failed your mother. I'm so sorry, Raesh."

A small sympathetic smile appeared on Raesh's lips. He put his hand on his father's shoulder, patting it softly. "I wouldn't say you failed us but you didn't do anything to fulfil your promises. If you want to keep the promise you made to mother then you should join Prince Kael'thas as soon as you are sober again. You have to help our people to retake our home. I would help them if I could but the remaining Farstriders don't allow me to help. They said it's too dangerous for me."

"They are right," responded Kelrian without hesitation. "These creatures are dangerous. Many soldiers died in battle against them. Lots of experienced rangers, mages and soldiers died. "I am one of the few survivors of your mother's elite unit. Nathanos, Zetai and Velon died with her that day. I haven't seen them among the undead but your aunt confirmed that Arthas killed and raised them. Even Verena died and was turned into a banshee. Even the best of the best had no chance against the undead. It would be too dangerous for you. You are not even a recruit. You may have been trained by Sylvanas and me for years but you are still not ready to fight anyone, especially not these horrible creatures. I hope you can understand that."

His son gave him an understanding nod. "I do. You are right about everything you said. I wouldn't be able to do much against these creatures. But you can. That's why you have to get sober again and join Prince Kael'thas and the other volunteers."

Kelrian stood up and patted his son's back. "I know. I promise that from now on I will try to do the right things. I can't promise that I will always make the right choicesbut I will give my best."

Raesh smiled. "Thank you."

"No, I have to thank you," responded Kelrian and hugged his son. Raesh returned the hug, ignoring the strong smell of alcohol as best as he could. The hug had endured for nearly a minute as Kelrian pulled away and regarded his son from head to toe.

"Which day is it?" he asked curiously.

"The 18th of June."

"Your birthday."

Reash nodded, sadness was reflected in his eyes. "Sylvera's and my birthday."

Kelrian nodded silently, his eyes also reflected sadness and grief.

"We don't know if she is dead but we don't know if she is alive either."

"It's still your birthday, so we should celebrate it," Kelrian said.

"I'm not really in the mood to celebrate it," responded Reash and averted his gaze, looking at his feet. Kelrian sighed. "I can understand you. The past weeks have changed our lives drastically. But don't forget your mother's wishes. She wanted us to move on. That means we should celebrate your birthday. A little at least.

We don't have to throw a huge party like we usually do. That would be inappropriate during these dark and difficult times. Quel'Thalas lost nearly ninety percent of its population. We shouldn't throw a party. But we could spend the day together and celebrate your birthday and the fact that we still have each other that way. I'm sure Vereesa and Rhonin would join us. What would you say to that?"

Raesh made a thoughtful face for a few moments. "Sounds good to me. But you have to promise me first that you get sober again and join the others who are fighting for our homeland.

Kelrian smiled and put a hand on his son's shoulder. "I will. Promised."