Chapter 1 Life before

It was a normal day. Just woke up, checked the other side of the bed where Gina, my girlfriend of the last few years, usually sleeps. She isn't in the bed. Actually her pillow looks untouched. It seems she hasn't come home from work last night. I forgot to tell you, she works in a hospital. Nothing fancy, only a regular nurse. But let me tell you, without the nurses everything in hospitals would collapse. So keep your fancy airs out of my story. I'm just a guy trying to live a normal life. I try to, with the important word being try. I'm not always successful, because trouble always seems to follow me everywhere. And usually, it starts from something insignificant and then it snowballs down into hell. Living hell in this specific case. It doesn't matter if you're alive or not, it's still the same. If you're alive, then you're in constant danger. From those around you and those below. If you're dead, you're just a puppet waiting for its strings.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Now let's get back to that specific morning. As I said, my girlfriend wasn't home. I actually waited for this day for the last two weeks. One was for the red time and the other was for our hectic schedule that doesn't allow us too much time for ourselves. Sometimes we barely had time to say hello to each other, followed by a kiss goodbye while heading to work. But today I was free. Had a day off. Finally. But Gina wasn't home to enjoy ourselves. I took the phone from the nightstand to check the time. It was 8:20 am. The light in the upper corner was flickering, showing an unread message. I've the habit of turning it silent after 8 pm. No matter who calls, I'm not around. So sue me. Wait, there are no more lawyers. Nor judges. But there are quite a number of executioners. Momentarily I'm one of them. Damn, I digressed again. Fuck it. Anyway, I doubt anyone would read it. Nobody has the time for it. And if there is a time when this will get read, i despise you! No, I don't! I hate you from the bottom of hell, where I'll be waiting for you to join my cauldron. Get a life. I have none at the moment. Fuck, here I go again. Where was I?

Oh, yeah, checking the phone. There was a message. It was from Gina.

"Honey, I'm sorry, I can't make it. We're flooded with cases non-stop and can't leave work. I think tomorrow you'll be all by yourself. I'm sorry. I'll try to make it up to you. You know how much I wanted that time to ourselves, but we'll have to postpone it. We'll see you as soon as I get out."

That's it. That was the last time I was normal. The world for me changed. Sure, all hell broke loose with all kinds of nightmares, but I am glad it did. It didn't allow me the luxury of dwelling on my thoughts.

Fuck it. Everybody can rot in hell for all I care, her included. Why, you may ask? Because all her promises were all just excuses. Fuck her! And that bastard too! They got what they deserved. And you wonder why I'm so over the top with my writing. What do you know? Probably you're lying on your couch crunching on potato chips while sipping on your coke, or whatever.

Getting ahead of myself again and the anger returns once again as strong as the day I found out. How you may ask? Simple. Going out to eat by myself. Let me give you a piece of advice. If you cheat, and it's a big IF, although I'd suggest not to, don't do it where your partner might find out. But that morning the luck was on my side. Or not, I don't even know anymore.

I'm all over the place now. Whatever. I don't care, as nobody will read.

As I said, I was feeling kind of hungry. And I didn't feel like making anything by myself, so I got dressed and headed for the closest place where I could find food. Just around the corner was a great place, with great food. It was her who showed me the place and I liked it. So I decided to go there.

I entered, sat down way in the back for privacy. Also my back was facing the entrance so I haven't seen them come in. I was waiting for my food, while I heard a woman's laughter followed by whispers. It was peculiar, because the laughter sounded familiar to me. I just waved it off as nothing important. The food was on the way. I smiled at the waitress and began to wolf down the platter. If course it was the food on the platter, not the actual platter. A giggle distracted me. That sounded really familiar. As I frowned I turned my head to see and sure enough, there she was. I almost spat the food in my mouth. Almost. But I caught myself thinking she wasn't worth it for me to throw away such a good food, paid for with my money. So I turned back to it, while trying to eavesdrop on them. As I listened, I felt my blood starting to boil. The food barely managed to slide down my throat as the veins in my neck were bulging. I heard all about it, how it happened, when it started and why.

I have a question for you. Rhetorical, of course. If you're in a relationship and appears a temptation, the chance of cheating, why not simply end the current relationship if not satisfied by the way things are? Then you'll be free to do whatever you want with whomever you want, and nobody would get hurt. Sure, the dumped one would feel pain, but at least it will heal in a shorter while.

It turns out, it began months ago with a guy, nurse too. I don't know what to call him, but it doesn't matter. He's not the one cheating on me. He only tried and apparently succeeded.

Anyway, long story short, they did it every occasion they had. And the woman whose laughter caught my attention, Laura a former friend, caught them during the night in the cubicle of the bathroom. And now she wanted the details.

I ate with lumps. God dammit, it was a good food, but the flavor was gone.

I raised my hand, waving at the waitress and asked for the bill. I heard them gasp behind me. I turned my head smiling as creepy as I could muster and waved at them. I could see Gina's face turn pale as a sheet of paper. Not that it was too different from her usual redheaded paleness, but the blood left her face, letting the freckles on her face and neck stand out.

"Hello, girls! How have you been lately? Gina, I heard you had fun lately. It must have been quite a ride. Anyway, I'm kind of pressed by time right now, so if you'll excuse me, I have to go. And Gina, if you have the time, please come by the house let's say, in a couple of hours," I said as I looked at the watch on my wrist, though honestly I still don't know what time it was after I looked at it. "Your things will be waiting for you in front of the door."

With that, I left the money on the table and walked out. I was sleepwalking on the street when I felt a tug on my elbow. I turned around and the last person I wanted to see was there.

Seeing me, she blurted out without giving me time to say anything, though honestly I had nothing left to tell her. She kept talking but all that I was hearing was noise. Nothing she said remained in my mind. I was empty.

I remember looking at her and seeing her not as a human being, but a bag of bones. Nothing last. Death awaits everyone so what's the point in struggling to survive, to grow fond of someone, to love, to hate, to feel anything. I was just existing at the moment. Like a post or a piece of furniture.

I began to laugh at the absurdity of everything. And I continued to laugh at myself for my wasted time until I fell on my butt, dragging her down with me. She bumped her head in my chest, but I shoved her and I saw her sprawled on the ground through the tears in my eyes. And that's when I snapped.

"Fuck you! Don't you ever touch me again! I wish I've never met you, I wish the world would break out in flames and swallow you whole alongside everyone else, me included for my lack of judgment. Fuck you and everyone else!"

I felt a pain in my chest and my head was throbbing as the world started spinning around me faster and faster until the darkness surrounded me. Maybe the heaven's did hear my plea, or maybe it was hell who did, because everything was changed after I woke up. The world I knew was gone.