Old Enough

"Estelle. This dress, do you like it?"

Even if Estelle heard the simple question. She chose not to answer.

With a slight glance up the light golden dress, she quickly looks away slumping her shoulders to hint her negative emotions.

"Sigh~ I'll be taking that as a yes."

The little girl quietly thought,

'Even if I said no, would it change the fact that I still would need to wear it? Another meeting. Another show. Why...?

Why... Why am I being used like this.'

Estelle huffs in anger.

Talia takes quick notice of the young one's disatisfaction.

"Estelle, I'm sorry. But you know the quicker you participate, the quicker this day will be over."

Talia smiles lightly. Grabbing the dress, she playfully giggles,

"Ah~ what a beautiful dress for a beautiful little girl."

Talia. She is not my mother. Although, I wish she was.

Instead she is my nanny. Someone who looks after me.

My mom, she- no. My mother, and father chose to hire one right after

I was born. They say they were too busy to look after another child.

How annoying. What a lie. So incredibly upsetting.

Ever since I was given a life it was always Talia who really acknowledged me. 4 years ago, I always wondered my worth in life, until that day. The day I was told to put on a dress.

Talia was with me again, she told me I was not allowed to eat a lot of food.

The cooks even fed me oatmeal, salad, and vegetables. Weirdly enough, I was told to excercise. I was only 5 years old. It even got to the point where my toiletries were changed to so-called adult shampoos and conditioners. I even had a body wash for skin glow. And lastly, I had scheduled appointments for salons, spas, and such.

That's when it happened. When my mother and father came home with an amazing customized dress.

For the first time, my mother spoke directly to me. Her voice was glazed with a sweet tone.

"Estelle, sweetie. We are going out to eat dinner. And look at this,"

She points to the dress that Keith, our butler, was holding.

"This is for you, and only for you."

She smiled as my father opened his mouth and and said the words I have never forgotten til' this day.

"My daughter, you look bueatiful, Why don't you put it on?."

"Quickly now, we'll be busy today."

Those words ringed in my head. It was shocking. A feeling that was new to me. That sentence. "You look beautiful." These words were not coming out of Talia, but rather my own father.

And a gift! A gift from my parents! My own parents! And it wasn't just an ordinary gift that someone else can also own. It was for me, and only me. It was MADE for me. Best yet, they were looking at me, they gifted me and were giving me attention instead of my older sister, Natalie.

Natalie Ruby Alleyne. My perfect older sister. Everyone in the media, including mother and father call her "Perfect".

That's because she is.

Natalie was born to be the best. Mother and father continuesly had new tasks for her and she always ended up succesfully achieving their expectations. I was there too. I couldv'e done it. But whenever I tried to volunteer, Natalie would stop me and always said the same thing,

"Estelle, what would you like to be when you grow up?"

And then I would follow with,

"I wanna be like you."

I want to be just like you.

You, who is always noticed. You, the one who has always achieved mother and fathers high standards. You, who is the most hard working. You, who has millions of people that look up to you.

Natalie... I want to be just like you.

"Oh, Estelle..." 

There it is again. That pitiful look. That look sister always gives me anytime when I tell her my goal. My goal to be like her.

Is it really that bad of a dream? A dream to wish for father and mother to look at me the way they look at you?

"Natalie.

Natalie...

NATALIE!"

"AH! SORRY MOTHER. Yes? Mm- what do you need?"...

Mother must need her again, I should say something.

"Hey mom?... I'm here too, I can help..."

But before I could finish my sentence. The door behind them shut close.

( Back to the main flashback )

I excitedly ran and grabbed the dress. I made my way up to the stairs heading to my room. Each step I took, I moved quicker. The quicker I moved, I got happier and happier.

The dress was absoulutely stunning. It was a light beige colored silk material, puffed up sleeves that ended on my elbows. My flowing skirt with a white lace top layer ending with grims of vine like patterns at the ends covered with tiny pearls.

I looked so mature. I looked beautiful.

"Don't you think this would go well with your dress?"

"Ah! Talia, I didn't even see you."

As she walked cheerfully to me, she carefully grabbed a necklace off my jewelary box and placed it on my neck showing me a display. She was right. The necklace was the perfect match for my dress. So why? why did I feel so annoyed? I roughly snatch the necklace away from Talia.

Talia gave a reaction of shock as she stepped away with an unsettled expression.

This necklace. This pretty necklace. It was a gift from Natalie. She made it with her own gifted hands and creative mind. It's special of course. But, that day I wanted nothing to do with her. Because that day was going to be about me. THAT DAY, I was in the spotlight shining for mother and father. That day... they were going to look at me, not Natalie.

With anger, I threw the necklace away from me. Hitting my work desk, the main gem broke. At a quick second, I felt a pang of guilt but suddenly that feeling went away. She shouldv'e made it stronger. It wasn't my fault.

Sorry Natalie but, you would never understand.

Before I headed out, Talia did my hair and added jewelary to complete my look. She did not speak, nor did I.

It was the first time Talia and I were like that. It was weird and it made me feel at fault. But I decided to ignore it.

With a quick look at the mirror, I saw Talia's face. She's was wearing it too. The look of pity my sister gives me.

Upsetting. So utterly upsetting...

After my hair was curled and styled, I sprinted down to my parents.

I just wanted to escape. I just wanted to be happy at that moment. So please. Don't pity me. There's was no need to, right?

"Mom, Dad! Thank you, I love it so much! Let's go now, I'm so excited! What will we be eating? Which restaurant are we going to? OH! After this can we go also go to a park-"

"ESTELLE!" Mother yelled, not with a sweet tone. But an angry one.

She looked mad at me. But, this is also how she speaks to Natalie.

(  "NATALIE!" ) - referring to that mini flashback when the mother yelled for Natalie-

I shiver by just the thought of it.

If this is what it was like being on the spotlight. Then... I didn't want it.

Drowning in a mixture of guilt, confusion, and fear. I apologized to mother.

Before mother continued to speak, father's phone started to ring. It must have been a call... he headed out answering the phone.

Then mother turned with a judgemental expression giving her attention right back at me.

"This isn't some fun family trip Estelle. This is an important meeting. Also, your father and I would apreciate it if you keep quiet during the meeting. Only speak when necessary, for example. I want you to introduce yourself politely. Eat like a lady, be respectful, and lastly, sit still. Make your father and I proud."

I wanted to cry. I thought- I- why was it like this? How come I couldn't- Why can't I just a feel good about myself.

"MOTHER! WHAT IS THERE THAT NATALIE HAS THAT I DON'T? I KNOW IM PRETTY, BUT I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE CAN'T I? IF YOU JUST LET ME HELP YOU OUT, I COULD BE AS TALENTED AS HER! BUT NO! YOUR'E ALWAYS IGNORING ME!"

I winced in pain, my chest hurt.

"Mom... please use me for something more. Please.

Please just use me the way you use her."

But.. I didn't say any of that. I didn't yell at mother. I stayed silent. Just like my sister, my perfect sister, Natalie.

When we arrived at the meeting, I did everything mother told me to. I sat still and lady-like, kept quiet, and ate politely.

'What was my purpose here? All I am doing is eating, smiling, and that's just about it. I'm only getting awe's, wow's, and stares from the guests.'

"Ah~ if it isn't the famous face of the Alleyne's. It's not a suprise haha, both of your daughters have model faces. But wow, Estelle beats her sister eh?"

Benette Johnson, Age 47, Britain, Married. Owns a perfume company that is titled "Devoraux Swifts".

"Oh of course. Estelle was born with such perfect features. Imagine what she'll look like when she turns older."

Cha Xiaolung, Age 56, Chinese, Married. Owns 2 house furniture companys.

"I know right! Wah~, Mr. Alleyne, I am so jealous of your daughter. Her eyes have a unique color, how envious haha~"

Brookyn R. Xiaolung, Age 43, Austrilian and American, married to Cha. Profesional Furniture Designer.

Mother and father's "guests" seemed to take a big liking in me. They kept showering me with compliments focusing on my looks. It was like... like the meeting was just about me...

"OH! Talking about Estelle, I have a son. His name is Tegan, he's about the same age as Estelle but his just 2 years older. He'll turn 8 in approximately 2 months. Maybe we could plan something for my son and your daughter-"

"No."

My mothers face was plastered in an angel face, it was if she was the nicest person you could think of by just from her appearance. But her voice. Her voice was being played with a devils tone.

Why did she respond with a no? Why was mom taking Mr. Johnson's son as if he  was a question?

With a sweat drop and a slight nervous feeling, the man replied to mother's stern voice.

"I see. I guess Mrs. Alleyne already has someone in mind for Estelle... am I right?"

"Not yet. You should know by now Johnson. I take work very seriously. That son of yours, Iv'e heard about him."

"And?" Mr. Johnson retorts sarcastically.

"And he doesn't have potential to run your company. I mean, how could he? if your company has dropped their stocks by 5% all in last month.

That is... an enormous number going at a rapid rate, don't you think Johnson~ I wonder...

How your company will be doing by the time your son graduates."

That day, the aura of the room definitely changed.

What a disturbing feeling.

Wearing a cold stoic face, father added to mother's words,

"For my youngest daughter. Nobody's child here will suit her. As for work, we want whats the best for Estelle but not only for her, but for our companys success too."

Why? What did I do? Why was everyone looking at me like that?

It wasn't about pity that time but...

They were all... glaring. Glaring at me. Their eyes, they were filled with so much rejection.

I didn't want to ask mother. She looks at me like that too. So... It's not a big deal if a few more people are added. Its ok.

It's been 4 years ever since that, Im 9 now. In the end, I did nothing but tag a long with mother and father for these 'special meetings'  with other companys.

They talked about the way I looked, their sons, and company success or failures.

All I did. Was just to sit there and be pretty.

Until one of the guests made a statement. About 3 years ago, when I was 6. A statement that changed my whole entire perspective of these "special meetings".

"It's sad, really..." A lady with an eye cathing red dress and a matching lipstick states,

"What is?" My mother responds.

"Your daughter~ It's like..

Your showing her off to a market. And wer'e just like the bidders... waiting for the right price."

( End of Flashback )

"Estelle? Hello?"

Returning back to reality, the little girl scoffs and nods.

"Yes, I like the dress."

Rolling her eyes, Estelle roughly grips the dress by the sleeve and snatches it causing Talia to lose her balance, but easily gaining it right back.

With a worried look the older lady sighs and moves out of the way for Estelle.

Talia was worried for her. She thought,

'"If these meetings continue on, and your parents find someone for you...

Estelle...

will you be okay dear?"