Why?

Joel tells me to lay down, that he will watch the babies for me. I just look at him even more confused. How the hell is he so calm about this? Wanting to watch someone else's children? Was there something, I was missing?

I know, I was still very sore from the C-section but I wanted to go and see if my other home was still there. If it even existed. If it did, who was there now? Before I go adventuring out, I figured I would look up online who it belonged to. if it was under someone I didn't know, there was no sense in going there. It just meant I went crazy and needed to get over it somehow and find out who the hell, I slept with and had these babies with. That thought scared me to death.

I go online and look up the address, seeing the house was real, it was there. The owner, Ichiru Kiryu.

Ichiru I scream, Omg, it is real, I'm not crazy, I say as I start to cry. He is here, then where is Zero? Why isn't the home ours? But at least I know I'm not going insane, I then look up my inlaws home to find that it also belongs to Ichiru Kiryu. Was he the only one left? I know, it can't be anyone else, he is the one and only. He would hopefully be able to explain what the hell is going on. I feel a little better, knowing that these angels are Zero's and that I'm not dreaming.

I get up off the bed, walking to the living room, where I find my family taking care of my two sweet babies. It does bring a smile to my face. I just happen to miss the family I use to have. My son, from ten, is now a baby again and even now has a sister. I wasn't sure if anything else could even shock me at this point.

"Mom, where are you going?" Liz asks.

"The doctor said it was good if I walked around, so I am going to take a walk. I will be back later on. I will take my phone with me, to call if I'm late." I respond.

"Ok, Just please take it easy, you need rest too." Liz answers.

"I will sweety. I need to get up and move around to. I need to get my life back, I just need to know how. Take care of the little ones for me." I say.

Liz just nods watching as I walk out the door. I know she must feel something is really wrong and off. I know I'm not the same person, I was ten years ago. No to mention, they were now a lot older and took care of themselves. Everything was different.

I go to my other home, checking my purse to see if there is a key but there isn't one. I have no way to get in. I can just look through the window where I see everything is how me and Zero left it. I didn't imagine it.

I walk down the street and bang on Ichiru's door, hoping he is home and will answer it. I hope its the Ichiru I know. My friend, otherwise I am in big trouble. I bang and bang but no one answers. I feel defeated as I just slide down the door and take a seat on the step. Putting my head in my hands to cry. Why? I ask myself over and over.

I sit there for an hour, not able to move. My body taken over with emotions, and fear. This wasn't what I wanted.

I stay in the shadows watching her on my step, she is falling apart in front of me. How do I explain it? What do I say? Zero had to die like that is going to make this any better? My heart hurts watching her, I love her so much. Will she accept me? Only see my brother? At this point even if she only saw Zero, I would gladly accept it. I am not sure what took place for her, as it was all Zero's plan. I just know whatever it was, she is suffering. I can't take it any longer, it's been an hour. I guess, I just need to face the music.

I walk down the street, where she spots me. I see her face pick up, and a smile grace her face. The smile that warms my heart.

As I sit on the step feeling alone and lost, I see Ichiru walking down the street. I know he may not even remember me, but at this moment, I am so happy not to be crazy, to have something from that life. I get up and run straight to him, right into his arms.

"Hey, are you ok?" Ichiru says. wrapping his arms around me.

"I am a bit better now. You remember me?" I ask.

"Of course, How could I ever forget you?" He responds.

Both of us walking back to the house and going in, taking a seat on the sofa.

"Where is Zero? What is going on? I am back with Joel, he is my husband again. Everything seems to be set back ten years ago." I respond.

"I know, Its what Zero wanted. He wanted to give you back all the time you lost with him. He felt that the choice you would make now would be your own. Not one thrown at you." Ichiru says.

"Did he leave me for her?" I ask with tears filling my eyes.

"No, not at all. He didn't want to go anywhere. He finally knew where he wanted to be, just it wasn't meant to stay this way. In the manga, it was his time to die. Time to move on, Because he wasn't already dead when he came here, his life still followed the major events that took place in the Manga. Like the birth of Ren and of course his death. He didn't want you to pine over him. To watch him die, so he reset the time for you giving you another chance. Did he give you anything you really wanted?" Ichiru asks.

"Yes, I told him I regretted not having another child with him. When I woke, I had two babies instead of one. ZJ and a little girl. My dear sweet Zero is dead? I can't return to Cross and get him? Take him back here? Or even stay there?" I ask.

"If you went, you would be leaving your children. They wouldn't be able to go, and if he is dead there, you wouldn't have him anyway. He did leave me a box to give to you. So you knew this was real. He knew you would come back for answers. He knew I would be the one to give them to you." Ichiru responds. Handing me the box.

"How did you get to stay? Where are your parents?" I ask.

"I was already dead in the Manga my life was played out. I wasn't needed for anything else, Neither was my parents so we could choose what we wanted. They choose to leave, feeling they wouldn't be able to live knowing Zero was gone. I choose to stay." Ichiru explains.

"What made you want to stay?" I respond.

"You, I couldn't imagine leaving you. I know Zero had no choice, or he wouldn't have either. I had the choice and I wanted to stay here. I know you don't feel about me the way you do my brother, but I care very much for you. Zero always knew it, that's why he was glad I was staying. He wanted someone to watch over you and your son. I guess now daughter too." Ichiru admits.

I just hug him, I can't help it. Looking at him, I just see Zero. He is the only thing at this moment, I have of him. The closest I'm getting to him. I just don't know what to say to what he just told me. Knowing everything now, it still didn't make it any better for me. I either choose to stay with Joel or walk away. I don't mind having Ichiru in my life, I just don't know if I can the way he would want it to be. Would I only go with him because he reminds me of Zero?

"I know you can't answer me now, I understand it. I know you see him when you look at me. I just want you to know, I can wait. I am fine with being your friend. I know you need time. Whatever choice you make, I am here for you. Even if that means you stay with Joel. I would like to be in my Niece and Nephews life if you will let me." Ichiru states.

"I would like that very much. I don't know about any of the rest at the moment. I need to think. I need to put someone down on the birth certificate as their father. How do I Put Zero? he doesn't exist here anymore." I say.

"Give them the Kiryu name, I am here. If you don't mind put me down as their father then. Or I can go to sign it, so there is no doubt. I can put Zero Kiryu as their father, just if they look it up...he doesn't exist. I will do it any way you want. If you put me down, I don't want any claim to them, just if they need me I will be here. Plus they get our name their rightful name." Ichiru comments.

"I want them to have Kiryu. I just feel putting you down as their father is betraying Zero. Yet if I don't I am betraying my children giving them no father, but even if you say you are their father I want them both to know the truth. I want them to know about Zero." I answer.

"Zero already asked me to do that, and as long as you let me in their life I will." Ichiru states.

"You don't mind saying you're their father?" I ask.

"No, why would I? Zero is my twin, it's like they are mine anyway. If anything ever happens with us, it makes things easier. Even if it doesn't, I am still part of their life. It makes it easier for them too. I do have to admit, I wish they really were mine. I can't help how I feel about you. My brother took forever to see you for what you are, I saw it from the start. I know you love him, Shit, do I know. Just if you be with me, it will be different than it was with him. There is no worryment of going back there. For Yuki or for anything. When my times ends it will end next to you." Ichiru remarks.

I just look at him lost for words. I give him a hug, still not sure of anything. I feel like I am betraying Zero in every way there was possible. Ichiru just came and took over his life. Even if I didn't go with him, my children would know him, never their real father. They would only see Ichiru as their father if I put him on the forms or not. He would be here in person to touch, to see. Where Zero would now just be something out of a story to them.

As I sit there all I can say is Zero why? Why this way? I am happy with having the other child, just not happy about anything else. Our son lost all his memories of him. Was this to save him from hurt? To give him Ichiru instead? I didn't know, I just had my doubts.