Regret

I get up and prepare myself to fight with whatever I have left of me until I hear a small cry. I walk over puzzled until I spot it, a small cradle and a bag with a paper sticking out of it. I look in the cradle and find a very young baby wearing a pink outfit, the infant looks up at me and spits out it's pacifier and smiles at me. I can sense this baby is a wolf but doesn't appear to be a rogue. I pick up the note and open it, "If you are reading this, I am dead. Me and my baby were not rogues, just unwanted pack members. My mate rejected me when he found out I was pregnant and sent rogues to kill me and my baby. I have been running for months living on whatever I could find and taking supplies from any houses and nice wolves along the way. I can feel the contractions getting closer as I write this which means I don't have long. I can't run any longer but I do not want my baby to die. I will behaving this baby and leaving her here before giving myself up to the rogues. Please take care of Lizzy for me, thank you". A tear drops from my eyes as I look down at the poor baby. "I wish I didn't do this yet, you need me. I'm so sorry, if I live through this I will be your mommy if I'm allowed to be" I let the baby hold my finger and smile as she coos cutely. My vision starts to blur as I hear howls getting closer and everything goes black.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I curse in my head as I see light through my eyelids. I failed. I failed at killing myself, wow I really must be pathetic. Athena scolds me and I give up deciding to listen since I couldn't move again. "I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU! SHE COULD HAVE DIED ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID BASTARD AND WOULDN'T GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR DAD'S ASS TO CARE FOR YOUR MATE! I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE PRIVELEDGE OF MEETING MY MATE AND HERE YOURS IS TRYING TO KILL HERSELF BECAUSE HER MATE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER! IF YOU DON'T COME TO YOUR FUCKING SENSES YOU WON'T HAVE A BETA FOR MUCH LONGER!", I hear footsteps as the man walks out slamming the door behind him causing it to shatter on impact. It is silent for a few moments until I hear a thud next to me. I feel large, strong hands wrap around my hand and arm, sparks spread through my body. I hear him sobbing as he tries to talk, "Jade I'm so fucking sorry I treated you the way I did, I don't deserve you. I won't deserve you forgiving me and I don't expect you to. If anyone is pathetic it's me for what I have done to my mate. Alpha blood or not I should have accepted my mate from the beginning. You probably can't even hear me but I want to explain myself incase you can". He clears his throat and continues, "Something happened when I was a child and ever since then my father has treated me poorly and I have done everything he wanted to prevent being a disappointment and earn his forgiveness. He always talks about how my mate needs to be a strong she-wolf with Alpha blood and high ranking. When I met you that day and found out you were my mate I thought you were a weak lower ranking, young, she-wolf. I knew how angry and disappointed he would be so I decided it was best to push you away. When I said those things to you they were all lies, all I wanted was to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright. I wish I had never done any of that and kept you safe instead. I'm so sorry". He bursts into tears once more and I feel sorrow for him as he lays his face in his hands on the bed next to me. "Jade we must forgive mate, please", Athena begs before I cut off the link. I use all of my strength to lift my hand and place it on his head, "I'll work on forgiving you Alpha". I feel him stiffen as I run my fingers through his hair. He slowly sits up again and looks down at me, his eyes puffy and red from crying for who know show long. "How long have I been out?" He looks down at his feet, "A month, they wanted me to take you off of life support next week if you didn't wake up but I couldn't do it". I am shocked by his response but don't say anything. Then I remember what happened and instantly lean forward, "Where is my baby?! Where is Lizzy?!". He instantly begins pushing me back down to the bed gently, "Yours? She isn't yours unless you adopt her but she is here, the nurses have been taking care of her until they figure out what to do with her". "Alpha I want to adopt her. Please.", I beg him and try to squeeze his hand but fail in the end. "Jade are you sure you are ready to be a mom after everything that has happened to you recently? I mean I can make the room next to ours into a nursery for her if it's what you truly want. I don't think I would be a good dad though", he hangs his head looking at his feet once more. "Alpha please I've always wanted to be a mom and I may not be able to birth my own pups now. I felt a strong connection with Lizzy and I know it's meant to be. Wait our room? I'm not going to be in a cell anymore? Who is our?", I suddenly finish processing his words and my mind hurts from how confused I was. "You really think I would put you back in that cell? I want you Jade, I need you to be with me. I'll hold you and protect you all night. Please call me Damien". His eyes fill with something I have never seen from him, desperation. Tears start to drip from his eyes again as I wipe them with my thumb, "I'd love that, Damien". He gets up and hugs me like I am made of paper. "I want to see my baby", he nods and releases me before leaving the room.