Celebrity Blues

They held each other for ten seconds long. Ten seconds.

"I'm so glad to see you," I heard her say to Senti.

"Me too flower. Me too."

I frowned at Senti. He smiled at her and hugged her again.

That doesn't sound right. He has a nickname for her and it is flower? He said it in English.

I stood up from my seat.

"Hey brother," I addressed him.

"Hey brother," he beamed and walked towards me.

We embraced. We have not seen each other for a month now.

"You two got closer yet?"

"A little," I shrugged.

"Good," he winked.

"Anyway, are you two finished with lunch? When are we going to have our meeting?" he asked as he followed after me.

"You two catch up with each other first. And you said you want to teach her more about her work so we can meet in the studio around 3pm," I told him.

"Okay brother. We will see you then."

He gave me a tap in the back and we went our separate ways in the hallway. I turned towards the direction of the lift while they turned the opposite way towards the library. I went up and got out on the second floor. I passed by my parents' room and the studio before entering my room.

The studio is built next to my room and the rooms are connected by a single revolving door. The design is convenient because melodies sometimes struck me in the middle of the night and I could scramble to my piano and notepad in a matter of seconds.

I sat myself down in front of the piano and got back from where I had left off yesterday. I have been writing and rewriting lyrics and melodies of this song but I can't seem to get it right. It doesn't satisfy me.

The past three months of my hiatus were mostly spent in this studio. Ana scolded me pretty bad once for being cooped up in here for hours. I smiled at the memory of her barging in at 6 o'clock in the morning just as I was about to doze off in front of the piano. I just pulled an all-nighter. I fell off my chair in surprise and hurt my butt and she just raved on. That was about a month ago.

Her words are still ingrained in my mind.

"Are you being a dedicated artist right now young man or are you trying to kill yourself? You are here for two days now without a break. You should sleep in your bed at least. Are you even eating well? Leila told me the meals she is bringing up here are either untouched or unfinished. I wish you truly take a break son. You are on a hiatus right now for goodness' sake!"

Ana is not nosy when it comes to my business but she intervenes from time to time when I start spiraling down to work obsession. When she is more upset than usual (like that time one month ago) she would go on to include about my lack of social activities where I'm supposed to meet a potential wife or a girlfriend at the least. 

"You are turning 30, Arystan. Isn't it time to get serious about marriage and family? Work is just there. Building a family should be your priority now."

Each time, I chose to just take it all in and appease her with a hug. I do understand her anxiety over my bachelorhood. I'm the first son after all, and my friends and peers had all settled down. But over the years I learned not to force a relationship into my life. It requires hard work and in my case, it needs extra effort. I have not loved anyone enough that I would prioritize her over my career, over my time in the studio. And not one had been patient or understanding enough of what my ambitions require of me. It only hurt the two of us in the end.

I let out a sigh. My thoughts are straying to this again.

Sure. I do long to have someone to share my thoughts with, my aspirations and frustrations. I long for it so much that it's almost like a crushing ache but I don't want to be selfish and enter a relationship with partial commitment and sincerity. Such relationships only gave me dissatisfaction and pain.

I dismissed my somber thoughts and focused back on the piano. My attention was on the incomplete song for about half an hour but I was not getting anywhere. Frustrated, I stood up and took a dombra from off the wall. I strummed a favorite tune. 

They say at 29 young people sometimes encounter a middle life crisis. Is this it? Why do I feel dissatisfied despite where I am in my life right now? I am at the height of my career. I have a complete and loving family. I have security, money, shelter. What is it that I still need?

My fingers rested on the strings of the dombra for a few seconds after the song came to an end. With a sigh, I decided to put the dombra back from where I had taken it.

I went back to my room and got a new blank notepad. I have a hoard of it stashed away in a small cabinet. My eyes caught the folder of Ms. McCrae's contract on the top of the cabinet. I decided to take it with me to review. We never spoke to each other until today. I let Senti do all the work but it seems proper to discuss this with her now since I'm the one she will work for.

It was a quarter before 3 o'clock when the door of the studio opened. Ms McCrae walked in alone and was carrying a laptop on her arm.

"Come in," I invited her.

"How about Senti?" I asked as I indicated to her to take a seat. She took the seat opposite mine.

"He is on a call with his wife Sir."

"Oh. It's not 3 o'clock yet but it is good that you are here because I would like to discuss some matters with you. Would it be okay if I go over some of your tasks and discuss the terms in your contract? I know Senti has already done it with you but I would like to review it with you also."

"It's okay Sir," she responded.

"Alright. The first thing is your salary. As you already know, you will have a fixed payment of 400,000 tenge every month. It's all yours. Arysadi Management will shoulder all your food and travel expenses. If you don't know, it's kind of a subsidiary of our record label, the Arysadi Company. The company is run by my parents. Also, there will be bonuses and it's given biannually. As of now, you are in a one-year contract with me. Resigning before the contract ends is a contract breach and it will have legal consequences. But I do hope you will stick with me until the end Ms. McCrae. Do you have any objections? With your salary, the contract?"

She shook her head.

"No Sir. And rest assured that I will not be breaching the contract."

"Good. And regarding your tasks.. as written in the contract, you are responsible for all matters regarding my schedule, concert tours, TV guesting and interviews, promotions, contracts, and magazine interviews or photo-shoots. You will also handle our team's travel, food, and other living expenses. I will give you the card later. It doesn't have a limit but you know of course that you are obliged to keep track of the expenses and make a report of it for submission to the management. Again, any objections?"

She shook her head again.

"Ah, and I would like to inform you that I would also need your assistance regarding personal tasks like packing my luggage when we are traveling. When things get hectic, I am not best at keeping up with unnecessary concerns like what clothes or shoes to wear. I have stylists of course but that is only when I come on stage. Traveling clothes and casual clothes are what I need you to take care of. Also, toiletries and some accessories like sunglasses, earphones, etc. Is that okay?"

She pursed her lips with a look of hesitation.

"You must be new to that. I'm sorry but I need you to do it for me."

"I can do it for you Sir, no worries. But this is indeed a first. I never took care of another person's personal belongings before.

"I would like to thank you in advance," I smiled at her.

She nodded and smiled back, the dimple lines forming on her cheeks. I couldn't help but stare at her.

I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat.

"Uh excuse me for a moment. I need to get something in my room," I told her, standing up.

She nodded without a word and I took my leave, going through the revolving door and into my room.

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