Last Chance

[Trigger Warning! This chapter contains depictions of self-harm that may be upsetting for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.]

Eirin groaned as she opened her eyes. It was the same dull ceiling in her room, and the silence was suffocating, but not for her. Her gaze went to the picture frame on the bedside table. It was a photo of Eirin and Ava back when they graduated from middle school. They looked younger, and Ava's smile was so wide compared to Eirin's sheepish expression. She reached for the picture frame, but there was no strength in her hands, and her grip was loose, causing it to fall to the ground, creating a shattering noise.

The shards shattered on the floor. Eirin got up and stared at the biggest shard that fell on the picture right above her face.

'Will you hate me if I selfishly follow you?'

Her train of thought made her reach her hand out to the shard and pick it up. Eirin's breathing grew heavier and emptiness filled her eyes. She never liked the pain, but these days, she cannot feel anything else but pain. The teenage girl stared at the sharp shard with her hand trembling while holding it.

Eirin's mouth trembled as she grunted after feeling an overwhelming pain flowing from her arm to her whole body. Blood dripped out of her wrist after she peeled the skin off with the shard. Tears welled in her eyes, but it was not enough.

"Please."

No matter how deep she tried to cut, the feeling of gloom did not disappear, and her heart continued to ache. Her longings didn't stop. She screamed and stabbed herself, acquiring tons of injuries on her body, on her arms, legs, and even on her belly, barely missing her vitals. She could not die as she wished.

She stared at the mirror near the bed, and she held the shard in front of her face. "Ava loved this face," she said as she gulped.

"Ei, I brought you food — Eirin!"

Bright entered the room and witnessed Eirin harming herself. He rushed to her aide, dropping the tray of food he brought the moment he saw Eirin covered in her blood. He stopped her from hurting herself any further.

"Eirin! What did you do?"

The moment Eirin heard Bright's voice, she could not feel anymore, as if the pain she caused on her body bore no importance to her.

"Miss Eleanor!"

Bright picked Eirin up and rushed out of the room while calling Eleanor's name.

"My goodness!"

Eleanor, who had just arrived after helping Ava's parents prepare for the funeral, could not hide her shock upon seeing her granddaughter in a terrible mess.

"W-We need to bring her to the hospital."

Panic and fear filled Bright's voice as he trembled in front of Eleanor while holding Eirin in his arms. Eirin's blood had already tainted his clothes.

Eleanor patted Bright's shoulder and said, "Leave her to me, dear. You must go to school today." She felt pity towards the young man who had been doing his best to stay by Eirin's side ever since the incident. "Your parents will get mad if you keep skipping school."

Bright bit his lower lip as he stared at Eirin's empty eyes. It's as if life had already left her and she had become an empty shell. Despite not wanting to leave, Bright left on Eleanor's orders.

"My love."

Eirin sat on the comfort of the sofa in the living room while Eleanor wept as she used her ability to heal her granddaughter's wounds. "If only I could also heal your pain, my love," she said as she held Eirin's cold and pale hand. "I do not wish for your suffering to last longer."

The darkness haunting Eleanor kept her at night, making her think of the worst that might come to them. "My love, I think you need to go with them." Hearing that caused Eirin's gaze to land on her grandmother. She had no energy to speak, and she did not wish to either.

"Ava's death… it is—"

Eirin's eyes instantly closed as she lost consciousness before she could hear what Eleanor was trying to say. Despite her grandmother's mysterious ability to help the teenage girl cope, she could not give her enough energy as Eirin continued rejecting food for days.

"How must I explain my mistake?" Eleanor muttered as she hugged the young girl, but she instantly felt someone's presence behind her. "Have you been watching her for a while now?" Her gaze turned to the shadow nearby, where the lights from the living room could not reach.

"Did you see her harm herself?" she asked as the person in the shadows walked into the light. "I have told you not to be anywhere near my granddaughter."

"Was it because she can make me lose control?"

Eleanor sighed. "If you have learned it, why must you— " she could not keep talking as she sighed again. "Have you brought news from Regina?"

Shade leaned on the wall in front of the sofa where Eirin and Eleanor were. "I have not," he said with his arms crossed. "I came here only because Link told me to watch that girl. That ice woman even warned me not to take my eyes off your granddaughter."

Eleanor glanced at Eirin before looking back to Shade. "I have been wondering… why have you agreed to be a part of this mission? Even as a child, you have shown a dislike of this place," she said while caressing Eirin's hair. "You might not gain anything from this."

"I am not obligated to answer your questions."

Silence, and nothing but silence. Eleanor could not handle any more stress, as she could feel her hair turning white in an instant. She knew she needed to patch things up, but how? After bringing Eirin back to her already-cleaned room, the teenage girl slept for a full day before gaining consciousness. Eirin continued to refuse food and even water, purposefully trying to end herself.

Eleanor removed all the things inside Eirin's room that she could use to harm herself.

Almost a week had passed and Eirin could not decipher anymore if it was day or night, and it did not matter. However she still wondered what day could it have been, and when everything would end. She had already stopped going to school, and everyone had learned about what happened to Ava. Her classmates tried to get ahold of Eirin, but her phone had been dead since that day. She shut herself out from the world and stayed only in her room, alone.

Her grandmother tried her best to keep her from harming herself and even fed her, but Eirin kept vomiting the food out. Her body started to reject food, and her mind would always think of Ava as if in an endless trance. Every time Ava appeared inside her head, Eirin would break down and cry. Even when Bright visits her, she would not say a word and would only stare at the wall.

"Is this the reality?"

Eirin stood up from the bed. The darkness filling her room caused her comfort. The emptiness in her surroundings puts her at ease with herself. She stared at her wrists and saw nothing.

"Was it a dream?"

There were no hints of bruises on any part of her body, but she could still remember the excruciating pain she caused after she had cut them. Although she does not remember when she did that. It was as if she was trapped in a timeless place. She could not remember what day it was, or what time it was. She knew of what she did, but every time she woke, her skin was clear of any injuries.

"When will this end?"

Eirin pulled the portrait of Ava that she's been holding onto to her chest. "You're still with me, right? You're still hearing my words, right?" Eirin's lost in her own world, and she would not bother doing anything else but speak to herself alone. "I've been trying to go with you, but grandma's not letting me," she said as she stared at her wrists.

Her eyes looked at the bedside table, searching for the scissors she used, but it was long gone now. She stood up from her bed, but her legs gave out before she could even walk towards the desk.

"Eirin."

A knock on the door made Eirin stop from crawling towards the desk. "Dear, today will be Ava's burial." She heard. "This will be your last chance to see her."

'Last chance?' Eirin's left eye twitched as she struggled to walk towards the door. As soon as she opened it, Eleanor showed a gentle smile and caressed Eirin's hand.

"Would you like to see her today?"

Her eyes were out of focus the whole time, and it was as if Eirin reverted to being a child. Her grandmother helped her eat, bathe, and wear her clothes properly. She only stared at nothing but the white wall while Eleanor combed her straight, dark brown hair. She wore a black dress reaching above her knees with long sleeves to cover up her skinny arms.

Eleanor thought that it would be bad if people learned of Eirin's deteriorating mental health, so she tried to put makeup on Eirin's face to hide how pale she had become. Their entire car ride was awfully quiet, as Eirin only stared out the window. When they arrived at Ava's house, there were lots of people, including Eirin's classmates.

"Hey, isn't that Eirin?"

"Why does she look so skinny?"

"She's been skipping school. I think she's depressed about what happened. Didn't you guys know how close Eirin and Ava are? They're practically inseparable."

Whispers and mutters filled the air, but there was nothing that could distract Eirin from the emptiness.

"Ei."

Bright approached Eirin and held her hand. "They said you can still look at Ava's before they close the casket for the burial," he said.

Eirin stared at the casket, not far from where she was. Ava's favorite flowers, and her favorite color, pink, surrounded it. The two walked hand in hand towards the casket, but something stopped Eirin as she stood in front of it. She could not look down to see the inside. Instead, she stared at the portrait of Ava placed on the wall.

"You're smiling," she said while staring at the portrait. "How could you smile?" she muttered.