Wedding Night (2)

ZAYN

It was like a wound to the heart. "What?"

"I can't bear to see your face, Zayn."

"I'm sorry,"

"You should be. After all that we've been through, if this is your level of trust, I don't know if you know me at all."

"Leia, I—"

She laughed. I wasn't sure if she was crying or laughing at first until the sobs started coming in. I grabbed her hand and placed them around my neck, squeezing.

"I'd rather you kill me," Her hand shook but she didn't resist. I started feeling the blood draining to my head, making me dizzy. "I'd rather die than see you cry, Leia. I'm sorry. I suck. I'm the worst husband. I won't ask for forgiveness because I don't deserve it. Just don't—for the sake of God—don't be sad because of me."

Her lips trembled. "I thought you were different than Ammar. Turns out all men are the same." She laughed, this broken sound, and it felt like someone tore apart my chest. My eyes watered and I didn't care one bit that I was crying. "Someday, you would hit me too."

"I would never," I didn't even recognize my own voice. "You know I would never."

"If there's something I learned today it's that we don't know each other at all. I don't know what you can do in anger. I don't know what you can do just because you're insecure."

I squeezed my hand over hers tighter and all the breath was knocked out of me.

"Please . . . kill me . . ." I wheezed. "You don't know . . . what hearing those words . . . is doing to me,"

She tried to slip her hand from in between mine but I held it firmly around my neck.

"Zayn," Even though I was such a damned bastard, she was still worried. She still cared. I truly didn't deserve her. "Stop. Okay. It's okay. Please. Just stop."

Our faces were inches apart and suddenly the temperature of the room seemed to increase ten degrees. My grip loosened and subsequently, so did hers. Coughs racked through me but I was too immersed in Leia. There was no one as beautiful as her. She was perfect. She was mine.

"Promise me," she said, eyes sealed with mine. "Promise me you wouldn't hurt me again. Promise me this was the last time, Zayn."

"I promise," I meant every word from the core of my heart. "I would never, ever, be the reason for your tears. Never again."

She stared at me for the beat of what felt like forever. Then sighed. "Okay."

I would never stop feeling shitty for what I'd ruined.

"Okay." I echoed.