Blaming

He's sure that she doesn't want to see him right now and wants to be alone by herself.

"Bath with me."

Before Ivan could go out of the bathroom, Vivian spoke up.

Ivan stopped in his tracks, turned around and took off his robe. He got in the bathtub behind Vivian and sat behind her.

Leaning her back against Ivan's chest, feeling the warmth coming from Ivan's body with her eyes still closed.

As Ivan wrapped his arms around Vivian's body, he muttered "I'm sorry."

"I told you to stop apologizing. When do you plan to start listening to me?"

Resting his head against the side of Vivian's head. Ivan closed his eyes with a heavy heart, without saying anything.

The room was quiet as hell.

Vivian can feel the warm breath coming out from Ivan's mouth when he's breathing on her bare skin.

She sits up "Let's wash up and go down to grab something to eat."

Without saying anything, Ivan starts cleaning Vivian and his body.

After that, he dries Vivian's body and his. He took Vivian out of the shower room, put on bath robes and sat her down on the chair to dry her hair up.

Ivan started drying Vivian's hair while standing in front of her.

As Ivan was drying her hair, she wrapped her arms around Ivan's waist and leaned against his chest.

Vivian was not sure of what's going through her mind, but tears kept welled up in her eyes.

Vivian couldn't hold back her tears any longer and start sobbing as she let go of Ivan's waist.

Ivan's body froze when he heard the quiet sobbing noise coming from the woman in front of him.

He turned off the hair dryer, put it back. He got on one knee, pulled Vivian in his arms. One hand held on the back of Vivian's head while the other hand was on her back.

Ivan's heart feels even more tighter seeing the delicate woman sobbing in his arms.

If not because of him, she won't end up crying like this. He hurts her feelings because of his selfishness.

He shouldn't have taken her first before getting her heart.

She told her mom that she wanted to give her first, after she got married to the man she loved.

Ivan knows that he's not the one she loves. She only sees him as an old uncle, and not the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.

Because of his existence, she was forced by her mother to sleep in the same room as him.

If he disappears from her life, she'll forget about what happened last night and this morning.

For Ivan, the only thing to make up for Vivian's loss is to get out of her life and disappear from her life. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings anymore.

He hates seeing her cry. Seeing her cry makes Ivan's heart ache terribly.

Once she meets someone that she loves, she'll forget about him and won't even remember his existence.

Vivian cried her heart out for a very long time.

By the time she stopped crying, Ivan was still on his knee, still holding her.

Pushing Ivan away lightly, making Ivan loosen his arms around her.

Looking Vivian in the eyes with a sad expression, Ivan wipes the tears on Vivian's face.

With his palm still on her face, thumb wiping away her tears "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Because of my selfishness, I end up hurting your feelings. So don't worry, okay? I'll make sure to stay as far away as possible and not to appear in front of you again."

Ivan stood up "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

He then walked in the closet.

'She must hate me with all her heart content now.'

Grabbing what his hand first touched and changed into clean comfortable clothes.

After that he walked out of the closet with women's clothes, bra, and underwear in his hands.

He placed them on the bed and walked out of the bedroom.

Leaving Vivian alone in a quiet room.

After Ivan leaves the room, Vivian looks down on the ring that's on her. Rubbing it gently with her thumb.

She then got up slowly and tried her best to walk up to the bed where Ivan placed her clothes.

It took her awhile to put her clothes on since her whole body was still sore from the wild sex.

Ivan went downstairs and walked straight to the kitchen. On the table were cooked foods and soups that had already turned cold.

There was a small piece of paper placed next to the food. He grabbed the small piece of paper and started reading what's written on the paper.

On the paper, it said 'this is not much, I hope you like my cooking, son.'

Ivan feels terrible after reading the note. He placed the note back to its original spot. With a deep sigh he ran his fingers through his hair.

He feels bad for deceiving Mrs. Wah. She's a kind person. He was scared that when Mrs. Wah finds out that he hurts her precious daughter's feelings, she must hate him.

Because of his recklessness, he almost ruined her life.

He started heating up the foods and soups. He then heated up a glass of milk.

After heating everything up, he placed them on the table.

Ivan walked out of the dining room and was about to head toward the front door to leave, he stopped in his tracks when he saw Vivian making her way down to the second floor.

By the time Vivian makes her way down to the second floor, Ivan just came out of the kitchen and was about to leave her place.

Vivian took her time walking down the stairs slowly with an aching waist.

Seeing that Vivian was having a hard time coming down, Ivan walked up to her and scooped her up and carried her like a princess in his arms.

He walks to the dining table and gently puts her down on the chair.

Vivian started eating the foods on the table in a small bit. But Ivan didn't touch the food in front of him.

Mrs. Wah cooks food was Viivian favorite food, but today, everything tastes bland.

After taking a few bites of the food, and taking a sip of the milk, Vivian put down her silverware.

Noticing that Vivian had taken only a few small bites of her food and was about to leave, Ivan's heart sank.

"Eat a little bit more and finish all of your milk."

"I can't swallow anything anymore. My stomach is full." Vivian then stood up from her seat.

Ivan also stood up from his seat and walked toward Vivian "if you don't eat more, you'll get sick."

Ignoring Ivan's words, without saying anything Vivian turns to leave.

Grabbing her hand, making her face him "I'll take you upstairs."

Slapping his hand away and turning away from Ivan gazes "no need."

Ivan scooped Vivian up and took her upstairs. He gently puts her on the bed and covers her up with the quilt.

Closing her eyes, turning her body sideways and only her back was facing Ivan.

Ivan leaves the room.

He goes downstairs and starts cooking porridge for Vivian.

After he finished cooking, he took a bowl of porridge upstairs.

Vivian's back was still facing the same way when Ivan left the room.

He put the bowl of porridge on top of the bedside table.

Ivan moved closer to Vivian and placed his hand on her forehead. He sighed in relief after seeing that Vivian didn't have a fever.

He sat on the bed, near where Vivian was laying down "Are you asleep?"

There was no response and only silence.

"You can yell at me, hit me, throw things at me, and kick me. But please don't ignore me."

There's still no movement or sound from Vivian.

With tightening chest, Ivan stood up "I understand what you mean. I'll leave, get out of your life and never appear in front of you again. So please eat something. I cooked some porridge for you. I put it on the bedside table."

He bends over and planted a soft kiss on Vivian's forehead, then whispered trying not to wake Vivian up if she's asleep "goodbye. You'll always be the first and last woman I'll ever love even if I can't have you. I was being immature. I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings."

Ivan then turns to leave.

It seems like Ivan misunderstood what happened and started blaming himself even more.

Ivan was so good to her and treated her so well that she felt bad about it.

Just thinking about how Ivan kept blaming himself and kept apologizing after seeing she's having a hard time because of body soreness, made Vivian feel terrible.

She blamed herself even more than anything. That's why she couldn't hold back her tears and started crying earlier.

But after hearing what Ivan said, Vivian decided to open her eyes.

"Sighs!"

Vivian sighed. Slowly opening her eyes as she turned her head to face Ivan "can you bring me a glass of water before you leave?"

She takes a bite bowl of porridge that Ivan placed on the table and takes a bite.

"Sure."

Ivan went down to get water for Vivian.

poured a glass of water and brought it upstairs.

Placing it on the bedside table, Ivan stood there waiting for Vivian to finish her porridge so he could take her empty bowl to wash it before he left.

"Can you please take a seat? I can't finish my food if you keep standing there. I don't feel comfortable."

Just as Vivian wanted, Ivan walked up to the bed and sat in front of Vivian Wah.

Ivan was staring down on the floor while Vivian was still looking down on her porridge in her hand.

Taking a spoonful of porridge "so are you leaving after I am done with my bowl of porridge?"

"Yes…" Ivan muttered.

She finished her last spoonful of her porridge. Put the empty bowl on the bedside table, taking a mouthful of water."

Nodding her head "I see."

Then she took off the diamond ring on her finger, looked up at him "can you come closer to me? I can't move much."

He did as she asked and moved closer to her.

Taking Ivan's hand and placing the diamond ring in his palm "here."

Ivan turns around to face what Vivian handed him.

Seeing the diamond ring in her hand, Ivan turned away "it's yours now. Keep it."

"Why would I do that?"

"Let's just say it's my first and last gift to you as a friend."

"I see…. I thought you were serious when you proposed my hand in marriage. It seems I'm wrong and got excited for nothing. And I'm sorry for taking your first."

Vivian took back the ring "I'll keep this ring and keep it as it's from a friend like you said."

Placing the ring on the table, she lay back down on the bed.

"I'm done eating my food. You can go now." Closing her eyes, Vivian turned her back on Ivan.