Being a Newborn

Truck-kun woke up.

Truck-kun couldn't help but cry.

Why did God reincarnate him? Why did he give him a second chance at life? Why did he have to be reincarnated as a fucking baby?

What did he do to deserve this?

"WAAAAAAAAGH!"

Crying sucked.

"Honey?" the stupidly-named man, Theo, called to his wife. "I think Kain is hungry."

It had been a few days since Amelia and Kain were discharged from the hospital. On the surface, they seemed like an adorable, happy family. The couple was in bliss as they took their son home.

The days were hard for the baby boy. He spent the majority of his time tired, and he was helpless. Being a newborn baby sucked dick.

Currently, he was awake in the dark room, swaddled in a thin blanket. They had put a stupid, blue-knitted hat on his head to keep him warm, but it wasn't doing any good. It must have been winter because his body shivered alone in the crib.

It was a fucking useless hat. It kept popping off his big-ass baby head.

Trucks were superior. Trucks didn't need hats.

The only thing Truck-kun liked about his new body was that his stomach was full, thanks to his mother's milk. He loved breast milk.

It was warm. It was sweet.

It reminded him of the times when he was a truck, and a human would be squashed by his tires, and would bleed all over his front grille. Blood tasted so salty and metallic, but it had a sweet aftertaste.

Breast milk was delicious. It was better than the best thing Truck-kun could have imagined.

Theo approached the crib. His arms reached down, and he wrapped his arms around the newborn.

The man looked at his son, and he smiled. The baby didn't smile back.

Instead, the newborn glared back at him.

He held the newborn up to his shoulder, and patted his back gently.

The baby could feel a bubble come up in his throat. He couldn't help but belch.

"Good boy," Theo cooed in an irritating tone. 

Theo, a lanky, nerdy-looking, black-haired man, cradled his son in his arms. He rocked him back and forth as he stared into the baby's red eyes.

"It's so strange your eyes are red."

Theo didn't think there was a baby in the world with red eyes. His son was special. So special.

He smiled. He was sure his son was special. He wondered if he could become a model someday with those kind of eyes.

"I know I haven't done much to prepare you for the future," he began, "but I'll always love you. You're the most important person in my life. You're my son."

The newborn listened carefully.

He didn't know how he was going to achieve his vengeance.

All he had was a weak human body. He didn't have wheels. He couldn't run his targets over.

But his father had his hands. If his dad's hands could hold him, his hands could murder people.

Truck-kun could murder by proxy.

It would be a perfect murder. He wouldn't even have to touch anyone. If anyone got locked up, it would be Dad.

"Your mom loves you so much," he told the infant. "We've been talking about our future together, and we have so many dreams."

Theo sighed. He had a beautiful, loving wife. They had a beautiful baby boy. They lived in a nice, new apartment in the city. They even had a brand-new car.

Everything was so perfect in Theo's mind.

He wished his wife was awake. She would be able to comfort the baby.

She was always so much better with him than he was, but she had gone back to sleep. Her body was still recovering from the trauma of birth, so she needed extra rest.

He was sure that if she was here, she could make their child smile.

Truck-kun was still thinking about his future, and how he could achieve his dreams.

He had the same dream he had when he was a truck.

Run over people.

Run over children.

Run over pregnant women.

Run over the elderly.

Run over the gays.

Run over the straights.

Run over uncontacted tribes.

Run over his mom.

Run over his Dad.

Run over the angry orange felon who use to live in the White House.

Run over everyone.

He had to figure out how he was going to go about achieving this dream.

He didn't know how, but he was sure his parents were the answer. They were the key to his happiness.

"Your mommy and I will give you the best life. You're going to have the best toys. You're going to have the best education, and you're going to be a wonderful adult."

Theo smiled, but his smile dropped when the infant stared at him.

Truck-kun wondered why the man was telling him all these things. He wasn't interested in his life story.

What Truck-kun cared about was whether his dad was willing to commit murder.

Too bad he couldn't talk. He couldn't manifest anything but stupid, annoying baby cries.

Theo was worried.

"Please, Kain, I love you. I'll do anything.

"WAAAAAAAGGGGGHH!"

Theo was frustrated.

What was wrong with his son? He knew babies cried, but it seemed extreme to him. He couldn't remember any baby crying like his son did.

Theo was desperate.

He had to calm his son down by gently rubbing his tummy.

"WAAAAAAAGGGHH!"

Truck-kun had an idea.

"WAAAAAAAAAH!"

Truck-kun tried its best to roll over.

It failed.

He tried again, and it failed again.

His newborn body was totally useless. It wasn't like his former 800-kg Kei Truck frame.

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

Truck-kun failed yet again.

His dad was worried. But Truck-kun didn't care.

"Kain, are you okay?"

"WAAAAAAAGGGGGHH!"

His dad's fingers were within reach.

It wanted its dad to kill him. If he couldn't be a truck, he needed to die.

"Kain, what's wrong?"

"WAAAAAAAH!"

"I love you."

"WAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!"

"Are you hungry?

"WAAAAAAAAGGHH!"

"Oh no. I forgot. We're out of formula. I'm going to the store. Don't worry, I'll be right back."

"WAAAAAAGGHH!"

Fuck.

Truck-kun wanted to die. Why did that fucking God put him in a child's body. If he were full-grown, he would find him, whip out his dick, and piss all over his face. 

That would be a good form of revenge. The damn God deserved to be pissed all over. He would shit on him too. He heard about foods that make stools nastier, which was utterly disgusting. He would eat that food before finding God.

He would drop the biggest, nastiest shit ever on God.

Daddy Theo left. That bitch, Mommy Amelia, was asleep. 

It was time for him to go to sleep. He couldn't do anything else. Screaming sucked. 

Yeah, it annoyed the humans, but it made his own ears hurt.

He didn't know why anyone had babies. They were useless. Humans were worthless.

Maybe when he woke up, he'd be a truck.

Maybe the world would finally realize that it was Truck-kun's destiny to kill every human by the time he woke up.

Truck-kun closed its eyes. He would go to sleep. 

Fuck this shit. It was boring being a newborn.