Not having a great day

(A/N: I'm fine. This is about ya boy Joseph)

Fucking shit man, my head hurts, I do t remember drinking anything that would give me a hangover though. I reach my hand up to touch my head, or at least I tried to.

My hands wouldn't move away from my sides so I opened my eyes and looked around, only to see that I couldn't move head either. "Okay okay, I get it, this is some sex thing right? I don't roll this way do if you could let me go that'd be great" Honestly, bad prank. You don't tie a guy up like this without permission at least, and even then I wouldn't have said yes, I'm not a fan of being tied up.

After I finished talking someone spoke from the side of me, a surprisingly deep voice male, "Heh, a funny man are you? Well let us see just how long you'll be able to crack Jokes once our boss gets here. Who knows, maybe if you cooperate you'll be able to keep on living and cracking jokes!" Okay so this definitely isn't a sex thing. This is more a hostage thing and I should be more worried about getting raped, tortured, and/or killed. Maybe not even in that order.

I must've frowned since the deep voice man started laughing off to my side in stereotypical villains laugh. Here let me give you an example: Haha, haha, HAHA, MUAHAHAHA. Yeah that kind if asshole villain. I try flashing away but I'm not able to, which makes me remember what happened to me before I pass out.

I try making a shadow clone but it seems as if my chakra is sealed off, shit! I try using my own strength to get out of the restraints but nothing is working. Maybe if I use my Nature energy? Nope, whenever I gather it at all it gets sealed off right away apparently. Shit!

Man I probably would've been fine if I just went to my house or the Hokage's​ office instead of the gate! I just wanted to be cool like in some of those novels I've read, plus man, whenever I see the main character in an anime make a big entrance I can't help but go 'Damn, they're cool.' You know? I guess real life can't be that kind of cool though since people react differently as compared to a scripted anime.

That's already clear since I killed Danzo and now all the villages are attacking the leaf... wait, all the villages are attacking the leaf! Fuck I forgot! I thought it was just a single village attacking and completely forgot that the Hokage told me it was all the villages attacking us, fuck me.

I need to get out of here to help, it's already the next day and I was supposed to be there already! Shit, damn these straps. Why are they so strong? I can't even look down to try to see what kind of seal it is that they used on me, bastards! Well even if they did let me see I wouldn't have been able to do anything with it since I can't move my hands or use my chakra.

After a few minutes of me struggling I hear another voice from behind me, another males voice, "Ah, I see that my team of elites captured you successfully. Now that I am here we can begin and I can get all that... Juicy information that you've got in your head about the future. So, are you going to tell me willingly or..." All of a sudden in front of my face is a man with a mask on his head, when he exhales a puff of purple smoke comes out, "Are you going to do this the hard way? I'm kind of hoping you'll do it the hard way, it has been oh so long since I've had someone to torture."

Fuck man, does Hanzo seem way more psychopathic than in the anime or is it just me? Wait! Analyze him!

[Hanzo:

Lvl:2$@

Strength: 21_

Charisma: 16#

intelligence: 25+

Luck: 7

Dexterity: 15$

Skills:

error

]

Dammit, he moved before I could take a look at his skills! There goes having it be extremely easy on me like I was hoping for, damn. Okay Joe, calm down. There has to be a way I can get out of this, not strong enough to test it, not able to use or gather chakra, can't steal skills... shit this is abysmal.

Suddenly I see a flash in front of me as something is brought down quickly towards my body, I couldn't see or even feel where it was heading to before I was flooded with pain and moments later another burst, probably from pulling whatever it was out. Fuck man, that hurt badly... think I shed a year from that.

Wait, he said he was going to torture me, that's right. Fuck me, I start moving around to try and make it looser desperately, "Hahaha, there's no running little rabbit... oh my, how interesting. You are healing already hm? I think I can have fun with trying to find out your limits hm? hehehe."

I don't know about you but that sounded rapey, so it made me asshole clench tightly and if I could get away from him I definitely would. In fact I wouldn't be on the same street as someone like him if I could help it, it's like someone smelling you on the bus.

Before I can think more about it I feel a slicing sensation from my side that hits a lot of nerves so I can't resist screaming while tears stream down my face. Why does it hurt so much I figured that I'd at least be somewhat resistant to torture. God I can sense that this isn't going to be fun.