Cooking with kids... and one adult

Okay and welcome to cooking with Joe! We in this program will show you, our viewers, how to cook various things that I know how to make (and definitely didn't google the recipe for). In this episode I will be cooking some pork chops and mashed potatoes with some kids. And Tsunade since she is apparently hopeless in the kitchen.

This program also serves the purpose of not having fights all the time since that gets boring. That's right Dragonball, I'm calling you right the fuck out. Same with Naruto. Now why do I call them out? Well because literally any time that they try to do something that isn't a fight in order to make it seem like they don't just live to fight and train, it looks like filler! I don't have the heart of a warrior and can't keep fighting all the time so you guys get to put up with things like me cooking!

Wait where was I?

Oh yeah, "Alright, so who is the oldest one out of all of you? Whoever is the oldest gets to help me with an important Job! No Tsunade. I know you're the oldest, but I mean kids." Midway through what I was saying Tsunade tries speaking up to tell me she is the oldest. Time and place for sarcasm Tsunade.

One of the little girls, this one with light red hair (A/N: I mean like a ginger. Not like an Uzumaki, if you don't know what that is, well look it up, they have red hair) raises her hand so I smile, "Well you get to be my assistant! So what do you want to help be in charge of? Cooking the meat, or helping with the side dish?"

The little girl cocks her head, "Uh, sir what's a side?" Ah. Well that is a problem I need to fix first.

"Alright, well I guess I should say first that there are parts to a dish, the most important parts are the main dish and the sides. A main dish is something like meat, and the side dish is something given along with it. There can be no sides, 1 side, or as many sides as you wish to have really. Make sense?"

The little girl raises an eyebrow for a moment before nodding. The boy raises a hand, "What makes something a main dish?"

Hm, I don't really remember too well myself honestly. Was I ever really taught that anyway? No, I kinda just went with the flow... oh god what if I throw it around aimlessly.

I'm slowing down time till I can think of what it is.

After around 10 minutes of slowing down time... what? You saying something about slowing down time for something like this?

Fuck you! This is trying to keep some of my pride!

Anyway, I finally came up with a common theme, it's usually something that is very filling! I start time back up and smile before responding to him, "Well the main dish is usually something that is filling to you and can be seen as the most important piece of the meal." I even added a little bit to the end to go and make the impact a little bit more, heh.

Why am I going so far to impress this kid? Well this little sh- kid went and said that cooking is for girls of course! Granted almost every women in my family cooks and almost none of the males cook, but I do! I take pride in my cooking ability too! This is my vengeance to him, convert him to the way of food.

Also I'm putting him on breading duty, heheh. Little pun- kid will have gunk all over his hands and be unable to clean it off, else he'll let his team down, muahahah! Yes I am evil, no I definitely didn't just plan this revenge right now. It's an amazing revenge plot! I mean he's a kid, I'm not going to frame him for robbery, especially since it was just a kid being a kid.

The little girl with red hair (A/N: I am not going to name them since I don't plan on making them recurring characters and as you guys can tell, I have shitty naming sense :p ) speaks up, "Umm, I'll go and work on the sides. Uh! Please sir!" Well she seemed to have been taught manners decently.

I smile, "Alright, you will be working with Tsunade then. Don't worry either Tsunade, I'll help you guys first, but I want to go and get these 3 to know what they will be doing first. You guys should also watch this too actually." I wave to have them walk and follow me to the counter I put all of the materials at.

"Alright, this will be your job okay? So you pay special attention, 'kay?" I smile as I crouch down and rub the smallest girls head. I hold an egg up so that everyone can see it, "Now I don't know how you guys go about with eggs in your world, or if you even have them (A/N: I don't remember so I'm going to just make it like the MC doesn't know either) but what you do with them is this" I take the egg to a bowl's edge right down the middle of the egg. Then with two hands I pull the ends apart and let the egg fall into the bowl with no shell.

"Now did everyone see that? If anyone wants to see better come up closer. Oh yeah, side note. Don't let any of the egg shell fall into it since it won't be very good eating it." I then repeat the process with a second egg, doing nearly the same movements but this time I let a bit of shell get into it. "Now this time, I let some shell get into it so that you all could see how small it can be. Now if you can help it try to not let there be any shell, but if it's just a little bit don't worry too much. I'll show you how to get it out now." I put my fingers into it and pulled out the shell piece, I then put the piece into the shell I had set off to the side.

"Easy right? The most important part comes afterward though. This goes for cooking at any time, but you must make sure that your hands are clean before you go and do anything that isn't part of what you're working on!" They all nod and I demonstrate washing my hands by making some water cover my hands then after some soapless scrubbing I breathe some light flames to dry my hands.

Everyone looks at me with wide eyes, including Tsunade, or maybe I should say especially Tsunade. Heh, now that I think about it I never did go and show anyone in particular that I have all the chakra natures. To show off a little bit I breathe a bit of light wind at the kids, making them all giggle, yes even the unruly boy.

"Alright, so remember to wash your hands when you are done, taking a break, or going to do something different. If you need to do something let me know and I'll help you wash your hands. Alright next step~!" I pick up a fork that I set by the bowls and start mixing the eggs that I put into the bowl. After a minute I go and I get it to a good point so I show the opening of the bowl towards everyone.

"Now this is what is should look like, if you remember before it looked like it had two balls on it? Well those need to be all mixed up together." I smile before continuing, "Now for the easiest step, you will go and bring the bowls that you mix up to the other 2 stations, okay? I'll help you understand it more later okay?" I want to give her the easiest job, but also one of the most important since if she fails in her step, then everyone else will have a harder time.

She nods to me and has a resolute expression on her face, glad to see she's motivated. I bring the bowl I mixed together to the next area about a meter away from the last one, "Now this is where you will be at okay?" I smile at the little girl that looked very average, brown hair, brown eyes, light skin. She then nods back and looks intently at what I do.

"Alright so for this one what you are going to do is, take a piece of this meat from the plate here, dip it into the eggs that are in the bowl here, and this is an important step so to make sure it's fine to get done, but make sure that you clean them beforehand!" I point my finger to everyone before I grab a porkchop. I turn around and pick up a porkchop for them to see, then I dip it into the egg, covering it and making sure it's all eggy.

"2 more steps for this station and it will be done so don't worry! Now what you do next is, you take the egg covered meat, and put it into this pile of stuff called breading, now with this it isn't as important that it is covered, but remember that the more that is on it, the tastier it will be!" I start showing everyone how to go and bread it, then I use a fork to flatten it more.

"Last step is the easiest! You put it onto this plate right here!" I smile as I show them all the plate, I then place the breaded porkchop onto it.

"Now for the last step, this will be your job" I smile and point at the boy. I then start talking again, "Remember the last station?" I see him nod a bit so I smile, "Good, because this one is almost exactly like that, just that it already starts out breaded." I grab the porkchop and start repeating the same process, dip it in the egg, put it into the breading and make sure it's done well, and then put it onto a plate.

"Now this is what I will be doing while I am not busy with any of you" I smile and breathe a bit of fire underneath the pan to get the fire going, and once there is a decent flame going I put some oil that I had in a small container off to the side into it, coating it with less than a half a centimeter of oil (Well a very thin layer at least). "Now the reason I'm doing this is because if you do it wrong then you can ruin the food. I will still show you guys how to do it the first time though, and maybe next time I will actually let you guys cook the meal instead of me!"

I smile to them as I move the double breaded porkchop from the plate nearby onto the now heated pan with oil. I let everyone take turns watching it and show them when it should be flipped, and then I let everyone see how it is that you should go and turn it over. After around 5 minutes total it finished and I show them the final product on another plate that I had put on the other side of the stove.

Now if anyone had seen it good on you, if not you should read up on Henry Ford more, I just made the Assembly Line! But well, for cooking... and with kids. I'm going to stop talking before I make it worse.

I explain how to make mashed potatoes in the same method to Tsunade and the little red haired girl, I left Tsunade in charge of peeling the potatoes and the other girl in charge of putting the potatoes in once it boils (I showed her how to be careful) and then let me know when the potatoes were of a good firmness.

For the next half an hour I went and walked around each station and letting the pork chops build up at the part that I would take over at. It was a little shaky at first, and there were a lot of egg shells in the beginning, but once I showed her a couple tricks for cracking the eggs she improved a lot, she surprisingly has no problem with going and mixing the eggs. The girl and boy are doing fine as well, though I have had to clean their hands a few times since they looked like they were growing a second layer of protection.

The potato crew is going along fine and are already making their second batch of potatoes now. I decided to let Tsunade mix them up and mash the potatoes as well since she was getting such menial labor and some kids are getting harder jobs than her.

Huh? That's still menial labor? Shhh, it's all good. She is just happy when I pop on by to go and see how well it's going. Hm, looks like they are starting to run low on pork chops, I hop by my station and start a cookin'!

After around an hour goes by and we all finally finish up the cooking, I smile and wipe the sweat from my forehead. "You kids ready to enjoy the fruits of your labor?"

They all look exhausted and just weakly nod. Poor things, they did work hard, I mean even Tsunade seems dead right now. Only reason I'm fine is probably because I am so used to this, I mean the heat in a kitchen is pretty intense, there is that saying about it anyway. I smile a bit and pat each of the kids heads, "Alright, I'll go and take care of passing out the food, you guys go ahead and go sit down after washing your hands."

The kids come up to me one by one and wash their hands, the small girl and the boy said something to me that made me feel a bit better about myself though, the little girl cried a little bit and said thank you to me, since she is small almost nobody lets her do anything, even though she is an older girl nobody realizes she can do things too. I couldn't help but smile and pat her head after helping her wash her hands. I then tell her that next time I come to help them cook I'll have a spot save just for her. She stopped crying for a moment and look at me with her bright red eyes drenched by tears before she goes and hugged me for at least a minute before letting go and walking off.

The boy went and smiled at me, "Thank you for teaching me so much, I can see how much effort you put into cooking and I want to show that I can put just as much effort into being a great ninja as my father!" I could see a twinkle of sadness in his eyes, but it was overshadowed by his resolve to make his late father proud. I smile and pat his head after he washed his hands.

Before you wonder if I had any grand schemes... Well I just planned on showing them how to cook, this was just on accident.

After washing the last of their hands everything else in the night went away in a blur since I was thinking about helping these orphans some more. Normally I would instead be listening for compliments since I liked to know if my food was up to par, but I couldn't focus on it. I just remember whenever someone would thank me I would tell them to thank the group of 4 that helped me as well as Tsunade since I couldn't (well I could) have done it on my own.