Aftermath of the 'War'

I am both happy and disappointed by what happened. I fully expected me to end up having to attack many places at once and fighting multiple Kage at the same time, but apparently I trained too much since I ended up fighting only 2 Kage at different times. Granted I dealt with those other guys who tried to assassinate me but I didn't really fight them so much as scare the crap out of them.

I sigh as I flash Olivier and Ezio back to my house while I go to the Hokage's office to at least give him a run down of everything that is happening and what I did. After I knock on the door I hear the familiar voice beckon me to enter, and as soon as I do he frowns and speaks to me, "Did something go wrong with the war for you to be here this soon?" True, it has been less than a day and there was a distinct lack of explosions made, especially since I fought the Kazekage extremely far away.

I shake my head to him before talking, "No, in fact nothing is going wrong other than some people that tried to assassinate me while I tried to have polite conversation. I actually have some good news about the war and, well it's end." I decide to bait the Hokage a bit since I wanna have a little bit more fun with this, I mean I did work hard on ending this war, even though I worked way too hard and didn't end up needing much of what I learned and shit that I was put through.

The Hokage raises an eyebrow towards me before speaking, "Oh? And that news is?" I think he catches that I'm baiting him, but little does he know I'm a master baiter! Am I still funny?

No?

Okay I'll stop now...

I give a small smile to the Hokage, "Well I requested reparations from 4 of the... 9? I think it was 9 groups attacking us? Well many of them were acting due to rumors and what I believe to be false evidence that the Tsuchikage came up with due to his hatred of the leaf and then Amegakure, the group that tortured me also came up with many excuses and rumors to incite assistance from the others. Once I told them of Iwagakure's attack on surrounding villages many of the Kage withdrew as well as some other villages."

The Hokage looks at me dumbfounded for a moment, "What do you mean... Reparations?" Do they not know what reparations are? Huh, I figured they would.

I look to the Hokage, "Basically to those that attacked me or the leaf I gave them 3 options, either have their country join the land of Fire, become a satellite of the leaf, or I will go there personally and subjugate their lands for the leaf village." The Hokage looks at me in shock for a moment.

Once he regains his composure he looks to me, "Joseph I'm sorry but those are against treaties that have existed since Hashirama made the Leaf." I raise my eyebrow, wait a second. There is some hypocrisy here, the treaty allows for attacking others but not to have others give their land up after assaulting another?

I ask the Hokage a question to clear things up, "I'm unaware of these treaties but are you telling me that it is allowable under these actions to attack a member of the treaty?" He looks at me for a moment and I think remembers the first ninja war that he became Hokage in.

Unable to think of any retort to that, he sighs and replies, "No it's not. In fact Everyone who matched on the leaf would be, in fact, said to have worked against the treaty so the leaf is on the right side of this. So, which lands did you request reparations from?" He starts running his temples for the incoming headache I believe.

I speak frankly, "Well there was someone from I think it was the land of the moon who tried to poison me, so I told him he now owes me reparations, then some dumbass tried to blow me up with some shoddy explosives but I teleported them away, so I told them they owed me reparations as well. Then of course Amegakure who seem to have agreed to my terms, and Iwagakure, the Tsuchikage attacked me while I was talking to him and even almost killed his own shinobi. So after beating him I told the Shinobi that were watching us that they were to send a representative for signing reparations within a week, same as the others I told to make reparations." I think for a moment, "Oh yeah, I told all of them, that I'd go to their land and subjugate it or would go there to grab someone high up it if they didn't send them here to discuss things in a week." Thinking back on it, well I probably went too far with my demands, but those people did try to kill me while I was talking to them, and at least Hanzo's group was somewhat respectful towards me.

The Hokage looks at me and sighs, "Well I suppose this is my fault as I didn't tell you how, but to imagine you gave them the ultimatum of either becoming part of the land of fire's territory or becoming a satellite of the leaf... I don't know whether to be proud of you or fear you, but I suppose I should be concerned for you, as are Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya. We don't know how you were before you were brought here, but we do know that you were a fun and positive person no matter what happened. You even took care of the leaf when you had no reason to, so Joseph I want to ask you, not as Hokage, and not as Sarutobi, but as someone I hope you consider a friend...I hope you listen me when I tell you that you need to take a break. I know I pushed you into this war to handle it for me, but honestly, I shouldn't have looking back on it." He sighs and looks down before he takes off his hat and sets it onto his desk, I sigh and take a seat in the room since I can tell this will not be a short talk at all.

"Since we have plenty of time and there is a week, go do something to relax, I can see how Tsunade was opening up to you and the worry in her eyes when your clone appeared so I will give her some leave, take her with you when you leave somewhere or just spend the next week in your house. I want to see you again when you are at least feeling better to the point that you can make some actually good jokes, and don't try to fake it I'll know." He sighs and turns his chair around before he continues his thought, "Also, don't worry about next week actually. I shall handle everything for it, and if nobody appears from the countries you named I shall first try sending diplomats to them before anything else, so go ahead and take as long as you need off... My seat is yours when you are ready for it." I sigh, there is no reason for him to be this nice to me. Maybe he is trying to tie me down to the leaf now by having Tsunade be with me. I don't know anymore really.

I nod and start leaving the room when he speaks to me one last time, "I truly hope that you feel better, and know that there isn't only evil in the world there exists good there no matter what, it just may be harder to find, so don't give up on people." I wince a little bit at what he says to me, I know it's true, I know that there are good people, but I don't want to have myself suffer through this again, especially if my actions led to someone else being tortured. Like what if Tsunade was tortured instead of me to get information about me? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself and would be in a worse state than I am now, so I guess the bright side of this whole thing is that even though I did something extremely stupid I at least went and only suffered myself because of it.

Pro's and con's to everything I guess.

[Mission Received- Take a Vacation-

Description: There are many worlds that the host has access to, they aren't necessarily long or very involved worlds and host may find them helpful towards recovery of mindset. Due to restrictions of some worlds some summons or some of hosts strength will be unavailable or skills effectiveness will be reduced.

Host is to relax for the minimum time of 1 week of Naruto World time, time on other worlds may differ.

Rewards: Unknown, Unknown, 10,000 SP, 1x age reduction pill, 1x immortality pill

Fail conditions: Host death, Host doesn't relax

]

Even the system is telling me to relax... What world do I go to?

'System Recommends- SAO Abridged world, Yu-Gi-Oh world, or using a random world draw.'

A random world draw? What's that?

'It is like other draw tickets, except this allows for the host access to worlds that should not yet be available to him. They can either be horrible worlds that will be extremely boring and uneventful to host, or they can be worlds where host can have the most fun host has ever had in his life.'

So basically Russian roulette?

'Affirmative'

Well how much does it cost?

'5,000 SP.'

So half of the reward basically. Well I don't have much to lose with it so I'll take a chance. I'll draw it later though since I want to go and relax in my own bed for the night. Maybe I'll go to a world with actual electricity and videogames. Now that would be nice to have...

After leaving the Hokage's office I teleport back to my home and see that Jiraiya was scrounging around inside of my fridge for food so I talk to him, "Hungry?"

Jiraiya jumps up and gets into a weird looking stance while having a piece of bacon in his mouth, after quickly eating the last of it he talks to me, "Uh, yeah. Everyone was asking for some food and you had a single piece of... bacon you called it? Left." I look out to the living room and see that everyone is sitting around talking, even Alucard who is busy floating upside down?

I call out to them, "Any requests for food? I'll cook." Tsunade looks over and is surprised I'm there so she goes up to me and hugs me.

She then whispers slightly to me, "I was hoping you'd be there when I woke up..." I sigh. Is there any way to see like our relationship scale? I feel she's getting close to yandere without me doing anything. Well maybe with time she'll get better.

I wrap my arms around her, "I'm sorry but I had to deal with a war, it's your village so you should understand." She looks up at me and pouts, instantly making me feel guilty. Tsunade, it hasn't been that long... maybe it's because Olivier is here as well and she feels threatened? I look to the others, "Well, what kind of food do you want?"

Tsunade then steps on my foot a bit, making me release her, and she backs up and points at me, "No! No cooking for you! You have done enough! We will all go and cook for you!" She seems adamant so I sigh.

As I am walking away I look back, "Wait do any of you actually know how to cook?"

Tsunade then puffs out her chest and then gives a confident smile, "Of course I do! I am a woman after all!" (A/N: Yes I am making fun of the trope, no I don't want to offend anyone. It's an old trope and this is a, supposedly, ancient(ish) world.)

I sigh, "Alright. I'll be laying down on my bed so let me know when it's ready." I walk off to my room for a nap.

*********Tsunade POV**********

What the fuck did I just sign myself up for? I offered to make him food to cheer him up but, unlike what I said, I don't know how to cook!

I look to my rival Olivier but eliminate her, maybe that gentleman would know? No he wouldn't(A/N: I'm going to make this Ezio knowledgeable since it doesn't say whether he is or isn't good at cooking, but I imagine he can to woo the ladies and survive as a bachelor)... dammit. Maybe the floating guy? No, I think I'd die if I asked...

Jiraiya is a lost cause, Orochimaru... does he even eat? I wonder sometimes as I only ever see him drink tea...

Fuck me what will I do? Wait! I can go run to Ichiraku ramen! Haha!

I bolt out the door to go and grab some. Once I get there in 10 minutes I see that there is only 1 free spot so I quickly slide in, and after a few moments a man walks up to me, "Hello Mrs. What can I get for you today?"

I look at the menu and try to remember what he got at the time... pork cutlet? Yeah pork cutlet!

"Uh, can I get a to-go order of pork cutlet ramen please?" He looks at me for a second before nodding his head. Thank god, I am saved by this god ramen.

After waiting around 10 more minutes he hands me the container of Ramen, I don't care about change so I just hand him 100 Ryo and start running after thanking him.

Once I get back I check the ramen once more to make sure that it is still fine and didn't spill at all, and that it is still warm. I run into his kitchen and put it into one of his bowls, one large enough to put all this ramen. After looking at it I put the chopsticks over it and bring it to him with a smile on my face.

Along the way I ignore all the glares that I am getting from my sides as I am the one to go and give him ramen! I win, hehe. (A/N: They are just hungry since Joseph was offering to cook but then Tsunade took over, yet didn't bring them back anything.)

After I got into the room I saw Joseph laying face down onto his pillow, I get worried so I set the ramen on the side table and try talking to him, "Joseph? Are you okay? Jo-" He then turns around with his eyebrows raised.

"Is there something wrong?" He asks me, like I did something out of ordinary?

I look at him dumbfounded, "Why were you laying down like that? Were you crying again?"

He yawns a bit before talking to me, "No, that's how I sleep. Do you not have people that sleep on their stomachs?" I shake my head in response and he continues, "Well I am up. Is the food ready?"

I smile and grab the Ramen I had set down to the side for him, "Yup, right here! Made this all by myself!" He then smiles and breaks the chopsticks, but before digging in he says something to me.

"Oh yeah, don't forget to tell the owner of Ichiraku that I said thank you for the food next time you see him." I look down and can feel my face heat up from embarrassment. How did he find out? "If you're wondering how I know, I can tell where all of my formula are, including the ones on you and at the ramen shop. Also, don't forget to feed everyone else too. Thanks Tsunade." He then tries to smile at me, which makes me try to smile back.

I'm just too defeated to go and smile too much though so I walk out of his room and back to the living room feeling drained. Jiraiya tries opening his mouth to talk to I just throw a wad of money at him, "Take everyone to the Ramen shop. I'm going to stay here and lay down on the sofa... bring me back some ramen with seaweed." He nods and walks out of the door and talking to everyone.

I lay face down on the couch and look up at his ceiling while thinking to myself, why am I having so much trouble helping him...