*Editing in progress* Perverts. Perverts Everywhere!

'Host, the 24 hour period has passed 3 hours ago. Gifts are now fully integrated into host and stats are able to be viewed. Host's stats are basic plus the ability to calculate the hosts chakra amount and regeneration rate. There are also separate locations that can display skills host has acquired or stolen.'

I move around a bit and try to get comfortable in the bed I am in, but it is nigh impossible. I keep getting stabbed by something whenever I try to move somewhere else. After a minute of this, I got sick of being stabbed and I sit up, but apparently something was right above me.

"Little brat, why did you get up all of a sudden. I was looking at you, I wanted to see what I could find out about you." I rub my head and look at the person who I apparently hit. Some sickly looking chick apparently, considering that I'm in a hospital I think that they need to do a better job of going their patients watched.

"Um, listen lady, you were in my face when I got up. It's pretty risky just being in a persons face period, let alone when someone is likely to wake up or moving around a lot like I was. Also, since this seems to be a hospital, I think you should get back into your bed so that the doctors can know you're alright." I'm not the type of person to take shit lying down, but I don't really try to be an asshole explicitly either, I prefer to just say the facts since those are the most reliable for me.

The lady got visibly upset and wanted to respond to me, but before she could have a chance at responding there was another voice that spoke after yawning quite loudly, "Ha, the kid called you a lady and sick, all in the same moment. Told you to ditch that long hair since your face is so thin and you have a frail frame. Makes you look diseased. Well, actually thinking about it short hair wouldn't do you much better. It would probably make it worse in fact... Gain some weight I guess is the best that I can tell you I guess." He yawned again after talking which caused me to look over at the person who just talked towards our conversation.

He was a man with long white/silver hair, I couldn't really tell the difference but it was quite noticeable, he had tan skin, and some red lines on his face. He actually looked a bit younger than me though, especially in his tone of voice. It actually sounds quite familiar to me, but I can't very well place it.

'Host is within the Naruto World currently. Based on hosts memory the characters currently interacting with host are Jiraiya and Orochimaru.'

Wait, I'm in the Naruto world, and you're telling me that this is Jiraiya and Orochimaru? They look so different though from the anime though? Well not entirely different, maybe it's just because I'm seeing them as real people in a 3D world and not 2D?

"So kid, I see you're awake now. Lemme give you some advice and not try anything if you're thinking of it. We;re here to stop you in case you try something. Oh yeah, and that..." he stops to laugh for a bit for some reason, "Girl that was stalking you while you slept" Oh that explains his laughter. He continues, "They're a pervert. Not just a normal one though, they like to look at boys, girls, women, men, grandma's, and grandpa's. Nobody is safe from the sick bastard." Is he talking about Orochimaru's whole evil scientist deal? If that's the case, then yeah I guess I can see how much of a pervert he would be since in the anime he actually did go and experiment on a lot of people of different ages and genders.

Who I am going to assume to be Orochimaru is not taking this well and decides to finally retort Jiraiya, "That is entirely baseless, I merely keep an eye out for those that interest me or those that will help me to advance some of the jutsu's or medicine we have. I'm not like you who whenever there is a woman bathing can somehow sense it and then have the insatiable urge to go and look at them."

At his moment a blonde woman walked in, and hot damn. I approve. Like, shit man. She was amazing at 50 in the anime, in real life she looks drop dead gorgeous, and surprisingly short actually. Fuck, I'm not giving a speech in class! Down beast! Down! I'm going to sit cross legged so that nobody notices.

Where was I? Oh yeah? She's definitely Waifu material. Honestly if I knew that Tsunade would look this fine in person then I would have never even consider going to the Danmachi world first, would have definitely chosen breast girl- I mean, best girl Tsunade. Well plus, for some reason the sannin are actually young instead of being in their early 50's like in the anime, they seem to be more my age- wait. Hold the fuck up... no, I'm probably just going crazy and they're just using some sort of Jutsu to look younger like Tsunade does in the anime.

While I was busy contemplating everything, Tsunade had apparently hit Jiraiya and Orochimaru for being too loud I'm assuming, or she just hit them for being them. Shortly after dealing with them she walked over with a strained smile on her face and spoke to me, "So you are awake now. With those 2 fools watching you I can't blame you for not being able to sleep. Hope you don't mind if I ask you some questions."

She looks over to the two that are in fetal position on the ground and holding their head's, "Yo, dumbasses. Go get our teacher over here. Tell him the kid is up." It seems like they didn't need to think twice and both disappeared in an instant, whether it was for fear on not obeying her or to get away from her I don't think people will ever know.

She then looked back at me, fuck I forgot she's tsun-tsun to people, which makes her highly likely to be tsundere. I'm no masochist, but she's so hot. WHAT DOES A MAN DO IN THIS SITUATION?

After looking for a few minutes, "Well you seem to have no problem with your eyes. So time to ask some basic information. Name, age, height, weight, and origin." How no nonsense, though I can't blame her, she want's to be ready for the Hokage. What how did I know it was the Hokage? Haha, well I remember that Sarutobi, the third Hokage, is their teacher from back when they were younger, and considering Jiraiya looks younger than me I am guessing they're early 20's, mid 20's at max.

"Okay. Joseph, 27, 6 foot even, about 240 pounds, and..." shit uh, where do I put I come from?

'Host can just answer honestly. Granted things may not turn out well but with how things are here system is unable to tell. Though host does not need to worry about something barring host from responding certain ways, host has complete freedom.'

Okay, "I'm from another planet that was called earth." She looks up from the clipboard and sighs before looking at me again, "Okay now this time give me some real information. You may not have chakra fluctuations in your body so I can't tell that you're lying but still some of these answers are too impossible, the only believable thing is your name and even that is outrageous. So please, try again but this time be honest." She rubs her temples like she's getting a headache.

But I was completely honest?

"But I was being honest. Maybe it's because of my facial hair? Granted I used to be told that it made me look older but that was when I was younger, now it just fits my age usually, sometimes I look 30 on a bad day. As for the height and weight well I may not look it but I am pretty big but I stopped growing when I was like 18. My name is completely real. Hell I have my Driver's License from my world to prove all this." I pull out my wallet and show it to her.

She grabs it while holding her head then looks back at me. "I don't know what this is supposed to prove as I can't read any of this. Also that looks nothing like you, hell I don't even know those measurements for height and weight so I just assumed you to be lying like you are about your age." She hands it back before putting her head into her hands before sighing loudly.

She doesn't look up, "Let's give it one last shot of you being honest, those fools drained me and I haven't slept since you got here so please don't make me get angry."

I'm being honest though! Why won't she believe me, like my facial hair should prove me being like in the photo.

"Look at my facial hair-" I reach up to rub my goatee that I have had since I could practically grow facial hair only to find the familiar feeling not there, "Where is it? Where's my goatee? NO! Can I have a mirror? This is an important crisis!"

You think I'm kidding? You clearly don't know baby face then if you think this is a joke, I can't have baby face in front of someone so pretty. Even if she wasn't here I wouldn't want baby face honestly, I use my goatee to help me think. Plus, heh, I used to be able to get Liquor before I was 21 because I looked older. Ah good times.

But now it's gone! This is a tragedy for me! Yes I have my priorities right! Appearance is important, especially the first ones.

"Fine, whatever I don't care anymore honestly." She does a couple hand signs quickly before a mirror appears in her hands.

I grab the mirror and bring it to my face, only when I look in the mirror I not only am missing my facial hair, but I am now younger. That bastard god, businessman, whatever the fuck he was, made me like 16 or something like that! Yet he kept my hair the same??

I mean you could've just kept me my age or somewhere close! Even 24 would've been better than this shit. I don't want puberty again, the amount of awkward boners was ridiculous.

I hand her the mirror back, "He made me young again... my beard. My precious beard is gone." I lay back on the bed and cry slightly into the pillow. "Just kill me now, I don't want to go through that horrible period of puberty again."

She sighs before standing up quickly and a voice speaks to her, causing her to sit down. "At ease Tsunade, they got me before running off. What did you do this time?"

She sighs while sitting back in the chair and I sit back up, "Well Orochimaru was apparently creepily watching the kid we picked up right in his face, then he sat up after stirring around a bit and Orochimaru got mad that he was hit in the face. Kid thought he was a girl, Jiraiya laughed, bickering ensued, I got here and hit them, sent them off." She sighed again. Jesus christ this woman sighs a lot, I can't really talk though as I sometimes sigh a lot.

"Hmm, I see. Well they will most likely be recuperating then. So give me his information." Tsunade looks at the Hokage for a moment then looks at the clipboard with answers and just hands it to the Hokage.

"Joseph, almost no chakra, 240 pounds, 6 foot tall, 27, and from a different world called earth." He looks at me then Tsunade for a moment, "What kind of answers are these Tsunade? I've never even heard a name like his and I can't believe his age, height, weight because he is too young for that and I don't understand these measurements. The worst thing though is from a different world? What?"

Oh he looks pissed at this. Tsunade starts talking to him again, "Sir these were the answers he gave me and I noticed that there was no disturbance in the little chakra he has. Regarding anything else, well he said something about being turned to being younger, supplied some form of foreign identification that I can't read, and then got very upset over losing facial hair and going through puberty again." She started rubbing her temples again as she talked.

The Hokage sighed and looked at me, "Is all of what she said true, your name is Joseph, you are 27, and are from a different world?" I nod while replying to him, "Every word of it. Especially that I miss my beard, I had it for a long time." He rubs his own beard before nodding.

"I can tell you aren't lying, but it is hard to believe that this is true. Perhaps there is something wrong with your memory?" He asked me rather inquisitively.

I shook my head firmly, "Well if you want me to prove it I can tell you some facts about your world, about mine, or if need be the future, or maybe even present. Granted I would recommend against forcing me to tell you future events because honestly, if I change the future too much then I have no clue what will happen."

Tsunade and him both look at me in shock before he asks me another question, "What do you mean information about this world? What could you tell us about this world that isn't known to prove you are from another world. Also why would this prove you are from another world?"

Well he can't be the Hokage for blindly following me, "Alright well let's start off with this, you are Sarutobi, my memory isn't the best so forgive me for not knowing your full name. You are the 3rd Hokage of the leaf, teacher of Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade's team. Or well you used to be based on how they are in their... 20's maybe? Also you could likely know I'm not from the leaf at the minimum so I will say right now that I know something that very few people are permitted to know regarding... well, a powerful beast. Though I don't know when I am so I can't say any particulars yet."

The Hokage's eyes widen a bit before he composes himself once again, "Okay what is this secret then, I won't have anything happen to you so long as you don't repeat it without permission."

I nod, "I'll do you 1 better and tell you 2. Not only that I will give you a telling of the future since I know this hasn't happened yet as Orochimaru is still here." I crack my neck a bit, "Okay so, 1 is that you made the Anbu because you need something to take care of the dark side of the leaf village and it is led by Danzo. 2nd is that you have the nine tails host here, now whether she is someone on the verge of death or a young girl is up for question."

I breathe a bit to let that sink in, "Now for the big one, Orochimaru is conducting human experiments to discover immortality. He will eventually succeed before joining a group of Ninja led by the one and only, famous for dying, Madara Uchiha. Oh hey, I gave you a two-fer. Yeah, Madara is alive."

Haha lets see how they handle that bomb drop. The Hokage pulls a chair up to sit beside Tsunade who is in shock. "Boy, is this true?" I sigh before responding, "I am not 15, I am about less than half your age. In answer to your question yes though. I suspect you already knew about Orochimaru though, you just are a pacifist and regarded him highly so you give him the benefit of the doubt. I am not saying that is a bad thing, I think you just need to do it a different way than avoiding the problem. Like talk to him and say he couldn't have done anything different about his parents deaths or something maybe. I mean I would assume that is why he is researching so many Jutsu, I could be wrong though since I can't remember that bit too well."

He sighs before nodding. I swear, some author somewhere is having a blast having everyone sigh so much. "You're right, I always had a feeling but I just pushed it back, it's time for me to handle it though. Tsunade he is now clear to enter the leaf and become a citizen if you so choose. We can't change the fact that you are 15 on documents but we can help train you till you get back to your old age. Now I am going to go get Jiraiya and Danzo, I will need their help for this."

He starts walking off but I talk first, "Danzo isn't to be trusted, he craves power, war, and torture too much. He will likely betray you if he can become Hokage." He looks at me before nodding and walking away. Poor bastard just had a tank dropped on him out of nowhere.

[Hidden conditions complete. New World Unlocked! +500 SP!]

Huh?