TODAY I GOT FLOWERS AND A LITTLE PAIN
This story is biography
Hey my name is mathilda, I'm actually 20years old just turned 20 this 5th of july 2023 but that's not where this story is going to start from first let's take you back to when I was 17
It was an afternoon at my workplace it was a normal day as usual that I go to work feel miserable, get some tips and close by 10pm that's life right I went to another man's country because I knew there was not much for me in my own country and I guess most people would be happy about this but why wasn't I happy?
I ask myself everyday 🤷♀️
But in the midst of all that thought
I work in a restaurant named food-dom don't mind the name it's a disgust (chuckles)
I went to get some food in the kitchen as usual as a staff you are entitled to some food every now and then so I took the liberate to take some jollof rice with chicken and I took it to the counter to sneaky eat before my bosses comes around and yeah I used plural because my bosses were a married couple named Mr Nathan and Martha
So I took a lower sit to sit down below the counter and my phone vibrated and I saw a message pop on the screen of my little iPhone 6 when I look at the screen it was from my Mum.
My Mum was battling with breast cancer at the time and it was kind doing a number on my siblings and I, especially my older sister Beatrix because she was in a far far country then we were, she was in Kuwait.
A job that took majority of a life fun but it was a good job though but super stressful, she always felt like she need to provide for everyone in the household from nuclear family to extended family.
don't get me wrong she wasn't the first born but she had a sense of responsibility of a first born child which was very remarkable because at a very young age she became the second mother in the household,
Listening to everyone's complaints and worries even though most didn't listen to hers
But she keep on pushing to be a better version of herself everyday put God at the center of her life.
Okay okay back to the story
I opened my message which was on WhatsApp to a short message forward from my mummy's number which said 'Mum is dead' my head took some time to process this sentence but when I did the plate of jollof fell out my hands which called the attention of my co-workers which ran to my side asking what happened.
*fast forward*
I wailed and wailed I don't know why but I felt a piece of me died that day
Me and my mom weren't the most best of buddies that saw eye to eye on everything but the biggest thing was that she was my mom my one and only mom and I knew a part of me would always need her even if it's just to nag, preach, scold or asking me for money
Your mom doesn't stop being your mom no matter what please remember that
But well I had to find a way to pick myself up with a little bit of fight with my siblings everyone was let off stream eventually we all settled.
For a short period of time I blamed God because why not He is the big father in heaven after all
Then for another period I blamed myself
I became suicidal and I had panic attacks which made me feel like I couldn't breathe most time of the day but I was able to hold on to something or someone actually.
I had a friend name Winfred, she was my neighbor too plus she was the first friend I got in Ghana 🇬🇭which i felt like I had to hold on to with my might because I have always being a cringy person who doesn't want to be alone or want people to walk out of her life which sometimes you can't prevent
She was one of the most manipulative people I have ever met.
She used every opportunity to take money from me and stripe me of my self worth which I felt that's what friend who love you do because it seemed like love at the time which it wasn't i got to realize that the day she said she was put up with me, how I'm the most selfish person she has ever met and the most hypocritical always pretending that I'm a good person wow those words broke my heart I had to stay far away it almost felt like a break up at the time.
But during the time I was coping with my mom's death she was there for me
With laughs, joy, tears, silly pranks and all which meant the world to me which still do
I hope if she reads this book one day she knows I talking about her and how much I loved her as a sister and I'm grateful for everything.
Fast forward a little bit to December
My mom died in august
I was still at this same work when I got the call my dad just passed away
Yeah I'm starting to think the problem is with the work too (lol)
That's how i became an orphan officially (orphan goals)
2020 Christmas I missed my mom much more because she had a song she sings for me every Christmas but she wasn't there I had to listen to a past voice note
🎵 Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad
Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart.🎵
It actually felt consoling
I felt a little peace.
But then my big sister breatrix was coming back to Ghana to have a proper burial done for my mom with all her children present
And mean you she had (6) and two out of them was in Ghana me and my brother Tj while Beatrix was in Kuwait meaning that we are going to Nigeria where the real story begins
But her coming home I know it will bring new troubles!!!!!! Stay tuned
i love you guys ❤️