31. Careless Whisper

[A/N: HOLY CRAP, I'm sorry for the absence! The end of this semester took a lot out of me but all's well that ends well! Thank you all SO MUCH for your reviews and sticking around. Your kind words gave me smiles when I was pulling my hair out from school XD

To answer Lucy's question: I'm thinking there will be about 10 more chapters to this story, give or take. We've still got a bunch to cover but based on my outline, that's what it's looking like.

You guys are so, so amazing and I love hearing your thoughts on what's going on! Please let me know what you think of this next chapter and I will try to get the next one done soon!]

Chapter 31: Careless Whisper (by George Michael)

"Time can never mend the careless whispers of a good friend..."

. . . . . . . .

As the hours dragged without an update on Will, the group became understandably anxious and exhausted. Dustin had spent much of the past hour pacing and driving the others a little crazy before finally settling into a chair. Karen had wanted to take Mike and Nancy home once it got closer to 11 o'clock but both had vehemently insisted on staying. She probably would have stayed, too but she needed to tend to Holly and even though Ted had assured her he could handle it, she wasn't confident in his ability to get their three year old to go to bed and stay in bed.

Hopper had insisted the kids would be fine staying with them and that he'd get them all home safe and sound. Knowing they were with three adults in a hospital and given the unusual and dire circumstances, Karen had an easier time obliging and letting her children stay.

By the time midnight rolled around, Will was still in surgery and while everyone was exhausted, they were fighting to stay awake in case any news came through about Will's condition. Joyce had already been to the nurses' station four times asking for an update but so far, all they could say was that he was still in surgery and as soon as they had an update from the surgeons, they'd inform her.

Nancy was feeling somewhat guilty about her affectionate interaction with Jonathan earlier that evening. As they sat next to one another in the waiting room, Nancy couldn't help the cascade of thoughts flowing through her mind like the thunderous downpour of a waterfall. She couldn't deny the feelings that were threatening to burst through her chest when she was around Jonathan. They'd simply grown too strong to ignore at this point. But she replayed her argument with Steve over and over in her mind. Had she actually broken up with him? Did he think they were broken up? Was that really what she wanted? Caught between unequivocal certainty and the a fear of the unknown like a spider that had somehow entangled itself in its own web, Nancy wasn't sure what to do.

Guilt was eating away at El, gnawing at her insides, as she wished over and over that she could have remembered her encounter with Will sooner. If only she'd remembered what she'd known in the Upside Down but everything had been such a blur, coming back to her in bits and pieces, how could she have known what she didn't remember? Still, she felt like it was her fault that Will might die and her friends were in such pain.

She watched Mike especially. He hadn't spoken in hours and he sat now with his foot bouncing erratically and his hands fidgeting in anxious anticipation. He alternated between leaning forward on his knees, resting his elbow against the armrest, and leaning his head back against the wall. His constant motion did nothing to curb the tension in the room.

Suddenly a surgical nurse in sea-green scrubs entered the room along with a resident in light blue ones, causing everyone to snap their heads in her direction, immediately alert.

"What's going on?" Joyce asked, standing up. Her hair was a mess from running her hands through it and the skin under her eyes hung heavy with fatigue. "Do you have news? How is Will? Is he okay?"

"He's still in surgery," The nurse said, gesturing for Joyce to calm down a bit but she herself was not relaxed. "We've run into complications,"

"Oh god," Joyce breathed, her hand flying up to her mouth before the nurse could continue.

"We've extracted some sort of parasitic creature from your son's stomach," The resident explained quickly and everyone struggled to keep up with his pace. "It appears it had begun to tear through the lining of his stomach. We were able to prevent damage due to stomach acid leaking from the tear into his abdomen, however, in the process of removing the parasite, it managed to do damage to his surrounding organs. We were able to repair some moderate damage to his liver and we removed his spleen and gallbladder, however, he needs a new kidney. The parasite made a tear in one of his kidneys that we were able to repair but completely destroyed the other in the process of being extracted from your son's abdomen,"

Hearing this made her feel like the world was about to fall out from beneath her but she wasn't about to falter when her son needed her.

"Take my kidney," She said without hesitation. "I'm O negative; it should work, right?"

"Okay," The resident nodded. "We'll take you back to run some tests and ensure you'll be a good match but you should also know he's lost a lot of blood,"

"I'm his mother, I don't see how I wouldn't be," Joyce said insistently. "I can donate to anyone. That's what the Red Cross said. Does he need blood?"

"If you're donating a kidney, we can't allow you to donate blood at the same time," The resident advised. "That would be too much of a strain on your body,"

"I don't care!" Joyce exclaimed. "Does he need it?"

The resident and nurse exchanged uncertain glances that only made Joyce's anxiety worse.

"God dammit, answer me!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, he does," The resident replied.

"We can donate!" Mike suddenly piped up and the other kids leaned forward, nodding vigorously in agreement.

"No, you can't," Hopper said, shutting them down immediately. "You're too young,"

"No, we're not!" Dustin protested, then turned to Lucas. "Are we?" Lucas shrugged.

"There is no way in hell you kids are donating blood so settle back down and drop it," Hopper said sternly. "They've got rules about this kind of thing and even if they didn't, you think I'm gonna let you do something like that without getting your parents' consent?"

"That's such bull!" Mike exclaimed, crossing his arms in frustration and slouching back against the cushioned seat.

"Mike…" El said softly, trying to comfort him as she gingerly placed a hand on his forearm but he yanked it away.

"Mike, what?" He snapped bitterly, sinking lower into the chair, his brow furrowed angrily as he stared at the floor. El sat quietly, watching him sadly as the bubbling tension within him finally boiled over. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" He exclaimed quite loudly, turning toward her. "Will might die, do you get that?"

Hopper glanced at Joyce who had visibly paled at Mike's comment. "Wheeler!" He reprimanded fiercely.

While angry, Mike's voice was taut with the strain of trying to keep from falling apart. They'd thought they'd lost their friend once. The idea of going through that kind of pain again was more than Mike could withstand, especially as his exhaustion settled in. "You said you were remembering things weeks ago!"

"I-I -" El stammered, her doe eyes watering as Mike's anger and her own guilt made her feel like she was suffocating. The expectant, yet irritated expression on Mike's face only made it harder. "I didn't remember…this..." She said quietly, shamefully, as she sank into her own chair.

"Alright, that's enough," Dustin interjected but Hopper interrupted him. They had more important things to worry about than the quarrels of a few pre-teens.

"What's his blood type?" Hopper asked the resident, ignoring the kids' dissent.

"He's B positive," Joyce replied automatically before the resident had the chance to respond.

"I could donate blood," Becky, who had been quiet up to this point, spoke up. "I'm O positive. That'll work, right?"

"Yes," The resident nodded. "That should be fine. Mrs. Byers, you can come with me and I'll help you get prepped for the surgery and you -" He paused as he looked at Becky.

"Becky. Ives," She replied, standing up.

"Nurse Jones will assist you in the blood draw," He gestured to the nurse beside him who gestured for Becky to come with them.

"Thank you," Joyce said softly, her face etched with gratitude as she looked at Becky.

"Not a problem," Becky said as if she'd done something simple like hold the door or bake a casserole as opposed to playing a role in saving the life of a kid she didn't even really know. Regardless, Joyce was thankful beyond words for the gesture and if she'd had any doubts before regarding Becky's genuineness, they were long gone by now.

Shortly after Joyce and Becky were escorted away, Mike abruptly stood up and walked toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Lucas asked and Mike turned around with a huff.

"I'm going to the snack machine," He replied, rolling his eyes indignantly. "Is that okay?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes, doing a double-take at Mike's unnecessary sarcasm which was all the response the moppy-haired kid needed before ducking out of the room and disappearing down the hall.

Nancy glanced at Jonathan who had been quiet up until this point. His thin brown hair hung in front of his face as he stared at the floor. His dark eyes seemed simultaneously fixed yet zoned out, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, as Nancy searched her mind for something to say.

"Are you… okay?" She asked softly, discreetly resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Huh?" Jonathan stirred. "Y-Yeah," He replied, his voice heavy with the myriad of emotions weighing him down. "Just um, just thinking, I guess,"

Nancy nodded, unsure of what to say next. "It um," She started, not sure where she was going with this but she felt the need to talk. Sitting here in silence was just about driving her crazy. Even the kids were silent again and Hopper had begun to slowly pace around the room with his hands on his hips. The tension was enough to make her lose it. "That was really nice of Becky to offer to donate blood for Will,"

"Yeah, I guess," Jonathan said distractedly, his gaze still fixed on the floor. "It should've been me, though,"

Nancy's brows stitched together. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm his brother," Jonathan replied. "But we have different blood types so…" He trailed off. "It wouldn't work,"

"Ah," Nancy nodded and pursed her lips, settling into silence again.

El was sniffling quietly, tears escaping her eyes and slowly sliding down her cheeks as her lip trembled. She'd mastered the art of crying silently but her face more than made up for what she lacked in volume.

"Hey, don't worry about Mike," Lucas said, moving to take the now empty seat next to El. "This… it isn't your fault, okay?"

"Exactly," Dustin agreed, putting a hand on her shoulder as it shook with her silent sobs. "It's… it's all our fault,"

El looked up at him, her watery eyes marked with confusion and interest.

"He's right," Lucas agreed with a sigh. "We didn't do anything. Will was puking up those slugs and we should've told somebody,"

El pursed her lips as she looked back and forth between the boys as they attempted to comfort her.

"Mike's just scared," Dustin explained. "He knows it wasn't all your fault but he just gets his head up his ass sometimes,"

"That's for sure," Lucas commented with a snort that elicited the tiniest of smiles from El.

Becky returned fifteen minutes later with a piece of gauze on her inner elbow and a strip of medical tape wrapped around her arm.

"Any news?" Hopper asked when she walked in but Becky shook her head.

"Not really," She said, taking a seat. "They took my blood and it looks like Joyce is good to go. They're prepping her for surgery now,"

Hopper nodded his understanding, his brow still furrowed as he continued to pace. Becky looked over at El who, while she had calmed considerably, was still the most visibly upset person in the room at the moment. Her eyes were glassy with tears that hadn't had the chance to fall and her cheeks glistened with tear-stains.

"Hey El," Becky said softly, leaning forward in her seat to face El who was sitting perpendicular to her. "Are you okay?"

El glanced at the young woman, pursing her lips and responding neither yes nor no. Lucas and Dustin shared a knowing look but said nothing.

Becky paused, a little uncertain of herself but motivated by the compassion she'd developed for this girl. "Here, c'mon," She stood up, taking a step toward El and offering her hand.

El stared at it before accepting, allowing her aunt's hand to clasp around her own as stood up for the first time in hours. Her legs felt shaky as Becky led her out of the waiting area.

"Let's go for a walk," Becky said as they moved to the doorway. "That always helps me,"

. . . . . . . .

The vending machines weren't far from their little waiting area but Mike had lingered for quite some time. He didn't actually have any money with him but he just needed to get away. His head felt foggy with fatigue and his emotions were more heightened as a result. He was angry, terrified, and upset and they were all tangled up in one another like a devastating whirlwind. He shouldn't have snapped at El the way he did. Sure, he wished she would've remembered what she'd known about Will's condition but he also knew it wasn't her fault. How could it have been? It's not like she would have knowingly kept that information a secret if she knew Will was in danger. The only time she ever blatantly kept something from them was when she didn't tell them everything about the lab when they were looking for Will before and that was to protect them.

It'd been like his words escaped before he could even think about what he was saying. He hadn't wanted to upset El but he knew he had to have hurt her with what her said. She was tough and capable of destroying pretty much anything or anyone who got in her way but she was also fragile and sensitive with other things. The dichotomy was part of what fascinated him about her.

And if he was really being honest, he felt immense guilt himself. He should have told someone about what was happening to Will, regardless of Will's requests that he not. People don't just throw up slugs when everything is okay. But Mike had been complacent to go along with Will's plan, dangerous though it was, and for what? Because he wanted to focus on finding Eleven? Because he wanted to pretend everything was back to normal in their little friend group? Because he didn't want Will to be mad at him for telling? It didn't matter because the truth was right in his face now and that truth was that he still let Will down by not doing what he should've done to help him, even if that wasn't what Will wanted at the time. All the times that Will was feeling sick or throwing up slugs or disappearing into the Upside Down, this… whatever it was… was hurting Will and no one said or did anything about it. They played D&D, they rode bikes, they watched movies, they did nothing.

Mike hadn't even noticed that he'd started crying until his eyes became bleary and he had to wipe them in order to see. He leaned back against the wall by the vending machine, resting his head against the cement block and hoping no one else would come down this way.

He felt helpless. After everything they'd gone through back in the fall to save Will, after everything they'd sacrificed, including Eleven, Will could still end up dying. And this time it wouldn't be the Demogorgon's fault; not directly, at least. It would be their fault, his fault, because they didn't do anything to save him.

Overcome by his frustration and despondency, Mike turned to the vending machine and kicked it as hard as he could. He held the sides of the machine, his eyes flooding with tears, as he kicked it again and again until his body reminded him that it was exhausted and he lost his momentum. He sunk back into the wall, his shoulders heaving with sobs as his foot began to throb and he directed his anger at his pained foot. Irrational though that was, it was easier to blame his foot for being weak and unable to withstand a few kicks than it was to be angry at himself for failing his friend.

. . . . . . . .

Becky led El outside and despite it being relatively cold, the change in temperature was refreshing. There was a low brick wall encircling a garden nestled against the building. Whatever had been in the garden in the spring and summer was long gone by now aside from a few year-round plants. The two sat down on the brick wall and El tucked her dress under her legs to capture the heat.

"Here," Becky said as she slipped out of her jacket and put it over El's bare shoulders. "Better?"

El pulled on the brown jacket and nodded, looking down at the sidewalk in front of them.

Becky inhaled deeply, sighing as she looked up at the sky. The sky was relatively clear and only a few scattered clouds impeded their views of the expanse of stars above them.

"I know you're worried," Becky said. "But I was back there with the doctors," El glanced up at her. "I'm not gonna lie to you - Will's condition is very serious but these doctors… they know what they're doing, okay? He's in good hands,"

El looked down at her lap, wringing her hands together. "My fault," She said, her voice barely a whisper.

"What?" Becky said, shaking her head. "No, El," She scooted closer, wrapping El in a hug. "Not your fault, okay?" She turned El's head to look at her. "This was not your fault, okay? Don't beat yourself up over this,"

El thought about telling Becky that it actually was her fault. She'd known about Will's condition for a long time and if she'd only remembered… Well, maybe they wouldn't be in this position. But while Becky knew a lot about El's abilities at this point, she still was shy to share them with her. And more than that, she didn't want to vocalize what she was feeling. She didn't want to hear the words that were torturing her in her mind.

"You know how many times I blamed myself for what happened to your mom?" Becky said, catching El's attention. "Yeah, I blamed myself for that, did you know that?" El shook her head. "We were pretty close growing up, I guess, but she got all mixed up in this lab stuff. I didn't think it was a good idea but I didn't really do anything to stop her. I mean, your mom, at least back then, was pretty strong-willed… Hell, she still is, I guess. I didn't think she'd listen even if I tried. And then after… after you were born, I guess, I didn't believe her. We didn't have any proof you existed and everything she was saying sounded… crazy…" Becky trailed off. "She lost it. In here," Becky tapped on her own temple. "And hell, maybe that wouldn't have happened if someone believed her or supported her when she needed it. Maybe I could've done something to keep that from happening," Becky shrugged. "That's what I told myself at least,"

El looked down, glancing back at the garden behind them. She apathetically traced her fingers through the cold, compounded dirt.

"My point is," Becky said, leaning in a bit to get El's attention. "The guilt might always be there but it's what you do with it that matters. Don't drown in it. I don't think this was your fault but me saying that isn't necessarily gonna take your feelings away, is it?" She looked to El expectantly who didn't respond. "It's not. So you do what you can to make the situation better. Does that make any sense?"

El inhaled, furrowing her brow in thought before giving a slight nod. "Yes,"

A smile cracked the corner of Becky's lips. "Good," She said. "How are you feeling? Ready to go back inside?"

El nodded and the two stood up before heading back into the hospital.

. . . . . . . .

When Mike returned to the waiting room, he immediately noticed that El wasn't there. After calming himself down, he'd realized he needed to apologize to her for snapping the way he did.

"Where's El?" He asked, looking around.

"She's with Becky," Lucas replied. "Man, you really upset her,"

Mike exhaled sharply, not really wanting to be called out on how he'd treated El but also knowing that Lucas was right.

"Seriously, Mike," Dustin continued as he watched Mike return to his seat. "You know damn well this wasn't her fault,"

"I know!" Mike replied defensively, sinking into his chair. The fact that his sister was sitting adjacent to them and trying not to be obvious in her staring was making him feel more self-conscious and irritated.

"All of us should have or could have done something," Dustin continued.

"God, I know!" Mike said, exasperated. "I know, okay? I'm gonna apologize,"

"You better," Lucas said straight-forwardly. "She was a mess before Becky took her out. None of us knew how bad Will's situation was, including El,"

Mike groaned, sinking down into his chair. He hated being called out on his mistakes but he also knew his friends were completely right. He had to make it up to her and he spent the time brainstorming things he could possibly do. He still hadn't gotten around to fixing that frame he'd made for her before so maybe he could fix that. He suddenly remembered the valentine he'd made for her in the car but in the excitement of the night, he'd forgotten to give it to her. He was debating whether now was an appropriate time to give it to her when she and Becky walked back into the waiting room.

El's eyes locked with Mike's as she tentatively took steps toward the chair between Mike and Dustin.

"How'd that go?" Hopper asked Becky as she took a seat and he finally sat down beside her.

Becky shrugged. "We had a good talk, I think," She replied. "Mostly me talking but that's nothing new"

Hopper nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks for doing that," He said, his other words dying in his throat. He wanted to thank her on Joyce's behalf, too, for donating blood. It was amazing to see how she'd gone from being a bit skeptical and unsure of herself a month ago to now blossoming into this almost-mother figure. It was impressive and he wanted to commend her on it but their recent past halted him for fear of turning a compliment into something awkward.

"No problem," Becky replied nonchalantly, feeling equally as unsure of how to navigate the conversation for similar reasons.

Meanwhile, Lucas, who was now sitting on Mike's other side, discreetly elbowed him in the ribs as El sat down. "Ow, hey!" Mike shot his friend a glare but Lucas returned his expression with a pointed look of his own before nodding in El's direction.

Mike looked at El from the side of his eye before sighing and turning to fully face her. "Hey El?" He said quietly and she carefully turned to meet his gaze. "I… I-I'm really sorry… I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I was just scared… about Will. It's um, it's not your fault,"

The words seemed to have a therapeutic effect on El and the tension in her visibly dissipated. Mike watched her for some sort of sign or word that would convey that she accepted his apology. But when she leaned closer to him, her body crossing over the armrest that separated them, to rest her head on his shoulder, he knew.

. . . . . . . .

"We need to be careful," Brenner said to the agent standing before his desk. "You're sure your source is credible?"

"Absolutely," The agent nodded, his hands clasped behind his back. "He was one of our senior research directors before the incident in November,"

"I see," Brenner said thoughtfully, tapping his chin as he rested an elbow on the mahogany wood of his desk.

"Should I dispatch units?" The agent asked eagerly.

"Not yet," Brenner shook his head. "I have another idea,"

. . . . . . . .

"To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. There's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find…"