Chapter 12

He pauses at the desk, pulls out some books in a lower drawer, and takes out his journal. He moves to the kitchen and sits down at the table with the notebook spread open before him. For a long time, he can barely read the words scrawled across its pages, but gradually his eyes adjust to the dim, silvery light and he begins to read.

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Journal Entry (Before We Were Married):

Memory in red light. Dancers do a pas de deuxin red light, behind a scrim. He watches the memory, blurred by tears. The man and woman dance, black blurs of motion, elusive.

I run out from behind the scrim. My eyes are filled with lust. The man sinks to his knees as the light fades.

A new dancer appears. A strong figure. Broad-shouldered, tall. Lumbering grace, yet gentle. Taking my hand, he waltzes me around the dusty stage, in pale light. Colors around me swirl and I feel myself melting into his embrace, my feet following his effortlessly.