Chapter 1. Before all this happened

I had always loved gaming even if I was very terrible at it. I could escape in the imaginary world for relaxation and a break from reality which was becoming more and more essential as the world developed. Getting a job was very hard and most of our seniors in college were advising us of all the troubles they were now facing as college students with a phobia of remaining jobless. I wanted to treasure my last year of high school and not regret later in the future when I look back to myself and live life to the fullest.I had always preferred gaming and even my crush was gaming with me so it was like double quality time for myself. Sadly I bet my crush doesn't see me as anything other than a good gamer. He wouldn't even speak to me after numerous games together. He remained very polite as if I was a stranger. I didn't like it but I won't give up that easily or else my gaming motto would not make sense. I would strive for my dreams even if it is unreachable as others claim it to be and currently Natsuki is part of those dreams that are as pretty and far away as the stars that are unreachable.

I was preety popular for gaming as I was exposed to it early and now entered big gaming events with Natsuki in different games. We had one main game that we are currently playing. It was Bloody Leauge of heroes where we played as different heroes that served for the empire. We only had one goal which was to defend the empire from the demons. Interesting thing was that in this game we could play both the heroes and the demons. It was our choice if we wanted to be a heroe or a villain but since many didn't like the villain thing I decided to be a demon main player. Both characters had something that the other didn't. The heroes had the holy light of the seraphim defending their honour and life in all their battles but that shield was a blessing and a curse. It could wipe out many does but it requires many mana which was deficient in most heroes except for the elite and royal class. The demons had scary amount of mana for spells that could cause hell but their weakness was that some demons didn't have full ability to live like a human and some were more weak to certain type of elements. Since Natsuki was the pro white knight of the heroes and I being the black knightess of the demon, we made a very odd duo of a hero and a demon but we surely completed each other. Since we covered each others weaknesses we were hard to beat and a legendary pair.

People thought we couldn't live without each other and boy were they wrong since maybe that may be the case for me but Natsuki was just too..op for such weaknesses. It was one of the things that made him cooler to me. Sadly even after 3 years of gaming together we barely know each other. I may know him but I doubt he even knows of my friendship to him. It needed to be acknowledged for one of my dreams to come true. As embarrassing as it might sound , Natsuki was my first love. I always thought he was so independent and cool unlike other jerks who were always rude to me. He doesn't give unneccessary attention to girls that make us feel respected and more open around him even if he is super reserved. I always like his company since I need not care about being girly while being with him. In a way I guess I liked escaping with him. Or maybe it was all just me. The day I had written him my confession and when I had went to give it to him there he was. My unbreakable Natsuki was silently shedding tears after his crush senpai Suzume left for the states. Such a bad timing .. I had thought as he looked at me and I was atleast smart enough to hide my confession. I saw the look he gave me that day. He almost looked pissed when he saw me instead of senpai and I saw that disappointment in him. I wanted to give the letter to my untouchable star but now only did I realize that maybe there was really no way for me to get him. Even if that's disappointing for me to get rejected before even confessing , as a friend I went over and comforted him while listening to him.

" I just got rejected by her and I guess it sucks.." he had said in monotone when he recovered a bit. " why did you come here anyways?" he didn't even seem interested and it was as if he didn't want to burden me with his feelings. " it was nothing." I lied with a smile as he didn't even turn back to face me. " By the way Natsuki san." I had one last hope in me. I just want to know the answer for what I was about to ask him."If someone like me said they like you, would you give them.. a chance..?" He stopped walking and had said rather too unhesitantly his next words. "No." I silently listened." I don't want to waste their time on me." " I see." rejection was hard and I think a part of me had already expected this but the problem was that it was a very small part of me that expected it. I bid him farewell and went to the restroom to freshen myself. I looked at the letter in my hand. This letter contained my feelings and I couldn't give it to him anyways. What was I expecting from him? I never had a chance anyways. I don't think it would have meant anything to him even if I gave him this. I slowly walked towards the stall and ripped it up . it doesn't matter. My feelings were wasted just like the letter containing my true feelings flushed away. I couldn't help but go home and get depressed only to cry a bit. I shouldn't have expected that . I went to heat my water and turned the stove on. I felt so bad and I needed to sleep to relieve my stress. It was the first and last time I had and would sleep this peacefully . What happens next had changed my whole life.