1.37. A New Reality

"Welcome home? How's your exam results?" my mom greeted me with a smile.

"I did it."

"Really?"

"All A's."

"Congratulations!"

At least there's one person happy about it.

"Irll? Are you alright?"

"None of your business."

My mom looked at aei with reproachful eyes, my fingers trembled. With my best efforts to tune out the reality, I took off my socks and washed my legs before proceeding to put my bag back into my room.

"What should I do.."

[It's alright Pu'er, I'm here for you. Your aei is just in a bad mood, that's all.]

"But why? Even if I get mad I won't do something like that.. Lily?"

It's useless. Not even an AI has the answer to this. Mom and aei are like this, they're special.

I went down stairs with timid steps.

"Go take a bath already! What are you doing walking around the house all dirty like that?!"

"Y-Yes!"

I rushed to the bathroom and shut myself in.

I calmed my racing heart– it hurts.

It hurts every time.

But I have to remember, my parents aren't doing it on purpose.. they're just in a bad mood. Yes, they're just in a bad mood.

I took off my clothes, dropped them into the basket and went into the shower. My glasses were placed far from the source of water, I know it's waterproof. But better safe than sorry?

I adjusted the temperature of the water to be just right before stepping in.

Refreshing.

Taking a good shower does help loosen the day's tension.

An unexplainable shudder ran up my spine, my head spun.

What if that's what it is? The reason why people become so crazy when they are mad is because of marriage?

No, that can't be right. Some teachers in school are also like that.. then adults? Will I become like that too when I become an adult?

I can't. No way. I won't allow myself to become that kind of person. It's cruel, too cruel.

Calm down Pu'er, everything is going to be alright. I can still turn things around. I have my wish remembered? Moreover, I'll be meeting with Avner later in the evening.

"I have to be at my best."

Water dripped from my body, I dried it with a towel. I looked at myself in the mirror. Does Avner like this kind body shape? I don't know.. perhaps he does?

It's an embarrassing thought. Maybe I should exercise more to thin down.

With one towel on my hair, the other wrapped around my body. I exhaled and saw my own steamy breath.

I took to my room, not bumping into aei.

Safe, whew. I exhaled again.

What clothes to wear? Something casual, but attractive. What is Avner's favourite colour again? I've never gone on a date with him, and he has never said anything about.. how about that V-tuber? That character had silver hair and wore bright pink? I don't have any bright pink clothes that are attractive. No way.

"How about this.."

I picked out what I think Avner would prefer, a simple buttoned shirt with frilly sleeves, and tights because it would be cold outside and it would accentuate my thigh? Does Avner like these sorts of things I wonder? They say some boys are turned off by it– a rare number of them.

It doesn't matter. For functionality sake, tights are the best option.

"Can't forget my hair pins."

An old lady passed me this one, it's like a star made of gold and silver crosses. She said whoever wears it will become lucky.

"There."

Before I go out, I'll have to eat dinner first. There's still time.

I made my way back to the living room. I hear my mom cooking in the kitchen. I made my way over carefully, along the way I saw aei preparing the washing machine for the clothes.

"When will this elf ever listen, turn the socks inside out, not toss it in and make more trouble."

I heard nothing. Aei's in a bad mood, that's all.

I peeked into the kitchen. My mom was making a big meal, there were a lot of ingredients.

I grabbed the plates, utensils, and arranged them on the table.

"Pu'er can you help me with these."

"On it!"

Mom is in a good mood. No. Her superficial miasma is moderate? Average mood.

I took the dishes and placed them on the table, making sure to cover it to prevent the flies from touching.

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Um.. I thought I said I had to go somewhere later.."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Alright, I'll accompany you later, to the park right?"

"Y-Yes.."

She never said anything about accompanying me. What should I do?!

I'll just tell her to stand a distance away. Yes. That way she can't hear me.

But it's going to be embarrassing.

Mother bent down and whispered.

"Do you know what happened to your aei?"

I stiffened.

"I-I don't know.."

I tried my best to not tremble. Is she mad too?

"It's okay."

"Sorry."

Helping mom or aei in the kitchen always made me feel slightly sticky afterwards.

It wasn't long before all the dishes had been prepared. A variation of meats and vegetables with cicada flour noodles.

Everyone ate at the table, the ambience was indescribable.

"Why are you wearing that?"

"T-This? I-I'm going out later."

"Going out so late? You never told me anything about going out today?"

"I d-did.."

"Irll, xe told you three days ago."

"Oh. Fine."

Aei returned to eating with a bad cloud over hirs head. I held in the urge to cry. But I know I can't. I'll be meeting Avner later that's why.. I have to be prepared.

"How's the dish?"

"It's good."

Mom nodded.

"No mouth?"

"What? You need me to tell you every time you cook? You don't even say anything when I cook."

"Excuse me? Did I never compliment your cooking?"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Hey, when have I never said that I'm grateful for your cooking? Tell me?!"

Aei finished hirs plate and went to the kitchen. My mom watched as aei's back disappeared past the door.

Mom then turned to me, I looked away.

"Eat."

"Y-Yes.."

There's still so much left on the table..

I-I don't know what will happen if I can't finish them.

"Mom. There's still a lot left.."

"I'll keep them for tomorrow, don't worry, just eat what you can."

I nodded, slightly relieved by her words.

Aei came out of the kitchen.

"Irll, tell me what I did wrong."

"You did nothing wrong. Don't talk to me."

"And yet you're saying I'm not doing wrong."

"You're not doing wrong. You never did anything wrong, you're always right. You're only right. Everything you do is right."

"I've never said that."

"Then you always say that I'm wrong?"

"When did I ever say that you're wrong?!"

I struggled to twirl the noodles and brought it to my mouth.

"So what? You never cared, now you're asking?"

"When did I ever say I didn't care? I'm talking to you right now because I want to know what's troubling you, that's all, isn't it? You're the one who doesn't want to talk!"

"Huh. What's the point of talking when you don't even listen?"

Something watery and warm was running down my cheeks, my nose was runny.

What can I do?

This family.. why is it like this?

Their argument just gets worse every time.

I-I didn't start this argument right?

"Didn't I tell you before not to shout in front of our irul?"

"You're the one who tried to accuse me and you say I did nothing wrong before? Double standard?"

"Mom, aei, stop.. Stop.."

They s-stopped.

"Stop arguing.. stop.."

"Sorry Pu'er.."

"So what?"

"Y-You said I can wish for anything if I get all A's r-right?"

I had been preparing this to resolve it once and for all.

"And?"

Resolving my heart, I voiced my wish.

"I-I want a peaceful family.."