Rules For Me

Sha Sha's POV

I keep thinking of what Andrew said this morning. As a result, I can't even focus on doing my work today. I keep staring at my computer screen with my blank face.

"Someone's not in the mood today.." Carol tap her hand on my back before I turned to look at her. I smile, and she makes a face that urges me to tell her what exactly happen to me.

"I just.. a little under the weather, Carol. Nothing much." I crack a smile, and she still unsatisfied with my answer. "If you said so then…why did you look like you've been whack by a big rock above your head?"

I chuckle at her comments. I know she might be just worried about me, but If I tell her..will she understands me? I'm only a meek daughter to all of them, and if I said that I had a crush on someone who's…totally looks opposite with me, will they still give me those look?

Or will they judge me? Saying those hurtful things about Andrew and worsen my day more than how it is now? Hmm...I don't think I can handle it later, so it's better to not tell her the whole truth.

"I think…I may like someone." there...I said it.

"Hm? Who? Does he someone I know?" Carol took her chair and sat next to me. Luckily our boss is in the meeting right now, so he didn't see Carol was lazying at my work cubical.

"No. He's not from this city. I think he's not even from Estovia." I rub my chin as I try to remember that Andrew never told me his origin. He only said that he was born and raised up overseas. But never mentioning where the place is.

"Uu~ a foreigner, huh? Nice catch, Sha Sha.." she winked at me and said again, "So, does he look handsome as Darian?"

I almost chocked on Carol's word. Darian? Handsome? I want to laugh so badly but I can't. Darian is way too ugly if he was compared with Andrew. Yeah, Carol doesn't know about what happens to Darian Cheng after all.

His family moves out of this city the next day after that commotion happens in front of my house. Only my father and a few people from the same workplace as Uncle Cheng know about this matter.

"He's way better. In every way." I said as I unconsciously smile at my own word. Only then I heard Carol giggling, and she said something that makes me shy.

"You're in love, Sha Sha. Good for you. Now, you can marry this guy and fulfill your father's dream soon."

Hmm...I don't know if he feels the same way as I do, but his word this morning that keeps struck my mind saying that he 'likes' me too. And at the same time, also, I think he not really meant to marry me.

Ugh, …what is this feeling? It makes me sick, and at the same time, I feel so anxious. I can't wait to see what he really wants to show me after work hours ended today.

…

Andrew's POV

Last night happen too fast. I know Sha Sha is returning late from her overtime previous night, and I decide to follow her silently. I don't want to approach her as I am afraid that she thinks of me as a pervert or stalker.

Well, I do feel like I am a stalker. I just want her to be safe, so I walk just behind her to make sure she returns home safely. Maybe I was wrong. She was afraid that night, and the thought of no one ever care for her make her even more upset.

As I want to cheer her up, I made another mess. The beer I had started to kick in and make me unable to resist her presence. I just…want to kiss her and hug her and make sure she didn't cry again.

Maybe I was too impulsive and confident that it made it more worst. I should at least care for her feeling, but I forgot that and just went boldly kissing her. I even dare to attempt another kiss, but then she runs away from me.

I sighed when I remember what happened last night. As I went to chase her, her father suddenly pushes me out from their home and even bring out a butcher knife with him. I think I was lucky to have my shadow back then.

Gonzales grabs that old man's hands before he can whack me on my head, and like always, Gonzales never shows me his face. I only saw him from his back.

"I'm sorry for the trouble, sir. My master didn't know how to console your daughter and made her more upset," he said, and Xun Lin put his butcher knife down.

"What did you do to my daughter?" now, I can see clearly that even though he looks cold and doesn't care much about Sha Sha, but when seeing her daughter cry, he acts as a father should have.

"I only make the wrong step. But, you should actually ask your son. Where did he go tonight? and why did he leave your daughter alone, walking home in the cold night?" I stood my ground and glare at the man who is hiding behind the door. Yes, I can see his guilty face.

"Hanwei! Where did you go tonight?" the old man asks his son, but his eyes never leave mine. Well, I'm not intrigued by him at all.

"Sh…she was not there when I arrive." Stuttering, that brat tries to lie, but I sneered at his answer. He even dares said that when he arrived, Sha Sha was not there? He really something, isn't he?

"You know what, you keep on saying you're educating your daughter's behavior and pressuring her, but you actually fail to educate your own son. He is now acting like an irresponsible man who doesn't even blink when he lies to you. You really good at educating your child, huh?" I said it and returned back to my house. If he's a good father, he would know how to handle that brat before I, myself, make my move to 'educate' his son.

That night, I can't even sleep and hoping that she will forgive me. When I waited for her this morning, I just went bravely snatch her from her father. I didn't think that her father will let me take her today.

Well, at least I am relieved. I need to tell Sha Sha how I really felt toward her and how I want her badly. But, to approach her aggressively like that…I think I've learned my lesson last night. I will wait for a good time to tell her that.

"Master, time for taking your medicine." Gonzales's voice makes me suddenly wake from my long trains of thought.

I look at my tray, and there are three different types of pills that I had to take four times a day. Really difficult to maintain these routines, but I had no choice either. I promise to stay alive for as long as I can and cherish someone I, dear, the most.

"Hm." I swallowed them in one go before I took a sip of a drink. Usually, when I'm done with taking these pills, I would feel drowsy and start to doze off for about a few hours before I wake up again. It lessens my pain, but it's hard for me to keep up my activities during the daytime.

"Gonzales.." I said as I went to my bed and lay down facing the ceiling before I cover my eyes with my arm, "Wake me up before five." I remind him as I'm afraid that I will be late to pick Sha Sha up from her workplace.

"Do you want me to notify Mr. Xun?" he asked, but I'm too sleepy to answer him and just signal it with hand.

'Go ahead.' I don't want that old man to think I abduct his daughter later. Well, I'm sure the rumor about his daughter and me are already spread like wildfire.

We did make a commotion since I arrived, and I keep on feeding them with the rumor of Sha Sha and me. I just hope this rumor is just a rumor that circling around these neighborhoods.

If this rumor goes to my father's ears…I'm sure will get a full rejection. He might drag me back home by all the means. I know him for too good that he'll oppose what I'm doing right now.

A mere sick person as I am.. It is forbidden to love someone. It's hurt. I know precisely the reason why my father forbade me to fall in love. I once loved someone, and then I was abandoned by that person.

He doesn't want me to feel any heartbroken again are the reasons he makes these rules for me. I guess I was stubborn with my choice this time. Call me a selfish, I know I really am.

But, for the last time...I really want to feel loved by someone. I want to die when I know I'm loved by someone. I want to create many memories before I leave this world.

I...want her. Truly.