109 Selfish as the Clouds

HAELAN POV

A slight ray of sunshine seeped through the trees, kissing my cheek. The warmth touching my face was faint, and it felt like the sun won't be shining all the way throughout the day. I opened my eyes cozy in Stellan's arms again. He's still sleeping deeply with a few strands of his dark golden hair tousled on his face. If this is a dream, I wouldn't want to wake up.

Last night was one of the best nights that would forever be like a fantasy to me. Hearing those words from Stellan were beyond the things I never dreamt of having. From his honesty, to his vulnerability and down to his confession of the possibility of his fascination towards me, I feel like I had glimpse of heaven with all the angels singing psalms of love.

I pretended to be asleep at Stellan's question. When he uttered my real name, I got petrified that I couldn't give him an answer. Coming from a stern family and being a loyal paladin of the imperial palace, I wouldn't dare reveal my identity as Helena, the soul traveler. But somehow, I am more curious of how he'd handle the truth, than figure out how much he knew about my real name.

I got scared.

I was too afraid that what we finally shared could instantly disappear with the truth behind the real me. However, he deserves the truth, something that he easily gave to me, that's very hard for me to give back at the moment.

My greedy heart filled my mind with my affection towards Stellan, with a decision of wrongfully covering the truth he's entitled with. I wanted to take pleasure with him having only me who he sees in eyes a little longer, and somehow enjoy it while I still can.

Against my willl as I was too intoxicated with his scent all over me, I moved away from Stellan's arms slowly. He was too sound asleep to feel my light movements. Carefully, it was a struggle to move away from his arms… perhaps, it is the best. I wouldn't want to draw attention if others would see us in each other's arms.

Just when I remembered to heal the wounded priest, the rain started to drizzle again. The selfish clouds just wouldn't give me bright skies to use my powers. I took a peek inside the priests' bell tent and found them still dozed off. Father Bertram seemed to have taken care of Father Elijah, as he slept in a sitting position beside the wounded priest.

I creased my brows as I scan my eyes over Priest Elijah, who's in dire need of healing miracles. Bullets of sweat are visibly running down his forehead, as his pale lips tremble. By the looks of it, he's probably running a fever. If only he's awake, he could easily drink Yereah's potion and all my worries will float away.

With my mind unease, it was then I decided to walk around and look for something that could help the priest to recover at least, the old-fashioned way. I gave one quick glance at Stellan who's still in slumber before I wandered off. I guess, just a little dose of courage for me along the way.

I feel bad for Father Elijah. Terribly.

The crime of compassion sulked in me. Guilty as I ever be, I put the weight of his well-being over my shoulders. I became a prisoner chained to my own remorse thinking that I am Elijah's best chance to escape the brink of death. I accepted that my existence here is nothing but fate to which I am bound to heal all the sick and hurt people that I meet.

I'm surprised that the priest is still tugging strongfully with his dear life without receiving any proper medication all night. I rubbed my hands together as I walk on the mushy ground covered with wet leaves and hoped to find at least hemlock or periwinkles, my father's go-to herbs when I'm hurt or sick.

The smell of crisp earthy scent in the airy gusts of the wind made me sneeze all the time. I walked beyond the woods and down a hill in the company of the scotch mist freezing the ground. I can't tell how farther I went until a bed of herbs started to appear beside some trees and in between the bushes. Bending over as I walk, I scanned on every leaf, every shrub and every flower I come across. Taking my time, I smelled each of them to make sure I get the right one.

"Good morning Haelan! What are you doing?", a voice startled me as I was crouching on the ground. I looked back and saw Prince Galen in a very pristine and cheery mien as he beam a smile at me. He wore a black brocade gambeson with silky smooth darker linings, paired with black trousers and a sword dangling on his waist, making him look positively dreamy. His black hair was a bit wet and brushed back, and his pearly whites looked so clean.

"Good morning Prince Galen, You're up quite early", I greeted as I stood up shaking off the dirt from my hands.

"I am a morning person. So what are we doing?", he asked with knitted brows.

"I need to find medicinal herbs to help Priest Elijah. He's got a fever", I answered as I walk past the tall trees, then up a slope of grassy ground.

"I'll go with you. It's not everyday that I would find a healer looking for medicinal herbs", Galen said as he keep up with me. He smells so expensive in the lavender, musk and floral scent that he's wearing. It was so pleasantly smelling that I wanted to smell him more. But of course, I kept my distance considering he is of high position in this kingdom and I'm just a lowly traveler who doesn't belong in this world.