Fake Love (9)

"Ryeo Hyun, I'm gonna be straight with you…" Xe's CEO spoke in a low tone. It was two weeks before the Producer10 auditions and Ryeo Hyun had been pulled out of vocal lessons. "This show will likely be your last chance at debuting." 

He felt as if his whole world had ended there. 

He had been a trainee for a decade now, since middle school. He had worked his body to shreds and been cut from his agency's debut teams twice due to a lacking image. He clenched his fists. His vocal cords ached with practice and when he bowed his head low for the CEO in front of him, he couldn't find it in himself to rebel. 

"Yes, thank you." Ryeo Hyun replied, but he was really anything but. "I will do my best."

Ryeo Hyun recalled the memory as he traversed the only slightly busy night streets of Seoul. The meeting he had just had was just simple questioning on the truth of the situation and the accusations. But based on the way things were swaying, wasn't it over for him? 

He recalled his years as a trainee. Being 13 and sitting in on his first dance practice, being 14 and making his first trainee friends. He recalled the day Bo Jaesang walked into the practice room with looks people gawked at as average. He recalled the same day where he found Bo Jaesang crying at the agency's stairwell. 

His cries echoed throughout and caught Ryeo Hyun's attention well. They were sad tears, small but said enough. He replayed the moment in his head.

"Are you…" Ryeo Hyun recognized the boy as the new trainee that their teacher had introduced this morning. Was he 11? 12? Ryeo Hyun recognized the boy as just a few years younger. "Are you okay?"

Bo Jaesang looked from the ball he had made himself and Ryeo Hyun was surprised to see his eyes red with tears. 'S-Sunbae…" He replied, as if surprised.

But that surprised expression quickly shifted to a face of tears, winced eyes and all. "How, how're you so good?" Bo Jaesang asked. 

Ryeo Hyun was taken aback by the words. He? Good? Granted he had the most experience out of all others' his age, but he was nothing compared to the actual debuted idols in the company. He shook his head, "What do you mean?"

"You're so much better than me, everyone is…" Bo Jaesang cried muffled tears into himself. 

Ryeo Hyun recalled the class he had just taken with the other. He was new and it was clear in his stiff dance, but he wasn't terrible. Not to mention it was his first official day here, so why was this kid stressing so hard? Every trainee begun a newbie, but grew to be something better.

Still, Ryeo Hyun understood it slightly. It was normal for every newer trainee to feel inferior to the more experienced trainees, especially if you were similar in age. He, too, had felt that inferiority but had worked past it by getting to their level and higher. 

He sighed, the younger boy continued to cry as if Ryeo Hyun wasn't even there. 'So much for pre-teen masculinity…' Ryeo Hyun scoffed. 

He sighed, and took a seat on the stairs beside the younger. "Hey, don't cry…" Ryeo Hyun spoke, lightly patting at the boy's back. "I– It's normal…" The comforting words felt uncomfortable coming off a tongue as monotone as his.

"Normal to what? Have crappy dance?" Bo Jaesang muttered. 

Gosh, Ryeo Hyun was terrible at this. "No, normal like that. But it's normal to feel, you know, inferior…" 

Bo Jaesang shook his head, his cries slowing. "What?" 

"Every new trainee compares themselves too much to the more experienced ones. You can't help it because we are always grouped together. But with time you will get better…" Ryeo Hyun racked his brain for the right words.

Bo Jaesang slowly peaked his head up, "You're really bad at comforting people, Sunbae…" His voice was groggy with tears. 

Ryeo Hyun nodded, "I didn't come here to learn how to be a therapist, you know. Just– just try your best to get better and you'll feel better…" He scratched the back of his neck, "I don't know if that's any help, but–"

"Hyung, can I call you that?" Bo Jaesang interrupted. 

Ryeo Hyun slightly flinched at the title. Bo Jaesang wiped at his tears and seemed to be… smiling? Hadn't this kid just been sobbing his eyes out a second before? "Umm, yeah sure. Call me Hyung." 

Ryeo Hyun smiled at the memory. It was then his bond with Bo Jaesang had formed and grown respectively. But really, would all that training together go to waste? The uncertainties pinched at his sides.

He opened his phone fully this time and stared at Bo Jaesang's messages. 

Ryeo Hyun: sorry jae

He turned his phone off and stuffed it in his pocket.

–+–

Joon-woo rubbed his eyes. There was a rustling not too far away and lately he had been sleeping so light even the smallest shifts could wake him. His eyes locked on the clock. It was 11:45 P.M., who else could be up? 

And it was when his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he spotted Bo Jaesang prying at the dorm's window. Joon-woo rubbed his eyes, was he really seeing this? Bo Jaesang flinched Joon-woo's way, hearing the other sit up.

"Hyung?" Joon-woo asked. 

Bo Jaesang placed a finger on his lips and lifted the hatch and by proxy, the window. 

"Hey– Hyung!" Joon-woo whispered a yell. 

Joon-woo was already being blackmailed for his roommates sneaking out the first time, but a second time? Where would that land him? He slid off the bed and stood. "Where– what are you–?" 

Bo Jaesang shook his head, "I'm gonna go find and catch that moron." He mouthed, slipping one the window, then his whole body. "Stay on watch, if you can…" He spoke, disappearing out the window and into the night. 

Joo-woo, too tired and baffled, approached the open window with shivers running down his bare arms. The cold wind beat against him and as he leaned out the window, he watched Bo Jaesang dash into the night and out of view.

–+–

Ryeo Hyun blew clouds of warm breath into the cold air. He watched it materialize into something he should see and felt just a little in control. His steps were slow and heavy and the words of social media he had only taken peeps at filled his mind. 

They called him a bully, a mean blank-faced bully. They told him he deserved nothing less than to die and even then, that wouldn't compensate for the misery he caused his peers. 

But Ryeo Hyun wasn't a bully. He hadn't hit or called any kids names. He hadn't smoked and told others' worthlessness. He was simply acquainted with such perpetrators. He was a bystander and nothing more. 

In school, he was popular with his idol-like looks and well-maintained body. He attracted girls and friends and popularity alike. And he knew, 16 years young, that the crowd he hung around was a large as it was toxic. 

They smoked so much the smell infected his clothes, and they bullied so much that Ryeo Hyun felt lucky to be good looking enough to escape their words. Granted, he was a bystander and bystanders were frowned upon too, but he also held regrets. 

Watching victims break out into tears as they held their bruised bodies made his stomach churn. All he could think was, 'what if Bo Jaesang was in their place?'. The idea made bile grow, so he never bystander longer than a few minutes.

But really, wasn't that a mistake? Maybe if he had helped the victims, this whole ordeal would've never happened. He would've never disappointed his team, his new friends, Bo Jaesang, or his fans. He would've still been trusted and loved and cared for. 

Still in front of Xe Entertainment, the lights on the many floors began to shut. It was late, but where could he go? He shivered in his own pity.

Just as he hummed himself the tune to LIMBO!, the song he and his group were supposed to perform, a shadow formed in the distance. 

And it wasn't the shadow of a passing by worker, or tourist, or drunkard. It was Bo Jaesang. In his average height and average hair only Ryeo Hyun was trapped by the appearance. 

"Hey! You moron!" Bo Jaesang yelled. 

Ryeo Hyun stood, surprised. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? Send me a message like that after ditching us the whole day!" Bo Jaesang yelled as he got closer. 

It was then Ryeo Hyun noticed that Bo Jaesang was not wearing a jacket. Had he come all this way without one? He tried to speak but the words wouldn't form on his tongue. 

Bo Jaesang stepped in front of Ryeo Hyun and snatched the bigger man by the collar. "Are you crazy? Huh? Tell me!" 

All Ryeo Hyun did as he looked into Bo Jaesan's angry eyes was smile.