Fake Love (2)

The practice room smelt of sweat and sounded of sneakers squeaking to the beat of slow cutesy song. This was Cheerleader, Cheerleader without Ju Hae, their maknae and main dancer. 

The song that played was their first comeback song after debut. And the moves, despite their lacking intensity, were intricate and required correction every minute or so. Ha-rin especially.

"Woah– Ha-rin-ah, watch your arm…" Her teacher lectured, pausing the music and approaching her.

She grimaced, hadn't her other members done the same thing? But before she could dwell, her arm had been taken into the grasp of her instructor and risen just barely an inch higher than she had it. The touch was sudden and she tried to ignore how her skin crawled. 

Finding the action casual, her instructor unpaused the music, and the group began to move again. But all that Ha-rin could process was the way her skin felt infected, dirty where she had been touched. And it plagued her mind so much that it overtook her mental and physical memorization of the moves. 

She fumbled, stumbling over the soles of her sneakers. She stumbled and in the shock of her members, fell to the practice room floor hard. 

"Ha-rin Unnie!" Gim Mi-Cha, Cheerleader's main rapper, cried. Gim Mi-Cha crouched down to Ha-rin's level, worry plaguing her pale face. "Are you okay? Should we take a break?" 

Ha-rin shook her head frantically. "No– I'm fine. I just stumbled…"

Gim Mi-Chae narrowed her gaze on Cheerleader's leader with a furrowed brow. 'Okay…" She spoke with caution, helping Ha-rin up with a hand. 

As the group re-assembled, they waited for the music to play again. They expected it because that's how they'd been practicing for hours at this point. But when no music came, they turned to their teacher, gazes saying 'where's the music?' in bold. 

Their teacher shook his head, looking at Ha-rin with a worried expression. "No, no Ha-rin-ah. Your knee is all scratch up! How can we continue like this?" 

Ha-rin squeezed her fists, "No, I'm– I'm okay." She said, dusting her knee off. It wasn't even bruised, just grazed in dust.

Their instructor resolutely stopped the music and marched over to Ha-rin, even shooing Gim Mi-Cha aside. "Take a break girls, I need a word with your leader." He instructed. 

Gim Mi-Cha nodded with a short bow, signaling the others' to follow her to where their water bottles sat. 

Ha-rin watched them sip on their water as a distraction as her instructor narrowed in on her. He got close, too close, close enough to where Ha-rin felt his breath on her ear. 

"Ha-rin, haven't I told you to rely on me?" He whispered, as if he didn't want the others' to hear. 

Ha-rin wrapped her arms around herself, "Yes…" She admitted quietly. 

"So why aren't you being honest with me? You fell and it hurt, didn't it?" 

Ha-rin looked towards the ground, "It… hurt, yes." She confirmed, "But– I didn't want to delay the group. You know the most that the time we have to prepare for this comeback is limited…" She reasoned with her face slightly red.

Their instructor huffed and shook his head in disapproval. "Ha-rin…" He spoke in a voice of pity, "Aren't they putting too much pressure on you? You just turned 18 at a non-Korean age, right?"

Ha-rin paused, "No– They already spent so much money on us. So it's only right that we repay the company by working hard." She replied resolutely. 

Their instructor sighed, even harder than he had just a moment ago. He turned to the rest of Cheerleader who were still chatting while drinking from their water bottles. He cupped his mouth with his hands and said–

"Girls, let's end practice early today! Get some rest!" 

Ha-rin's expression hardened at his words, "Wha–? But–" She went to speak, but their instructor brought a finger to her lips, he looked– angry, almost? 

"Stay for a little." He instructed, peeling his finger off her lips and beginning towards the rest of her bandmates to shoo them away. 

Ha-rin watched their instructor toss sweat towels and empty water bottles away with her bandmates who didn't bat an eye to Ha-rin as she stood, too-proper and paranoid. 

She bit at her lip as Gim Mi-Cha exited the practice room and shut the door behind her. Looking relieved. Looking relieved that practice ended early. Ha-rin grimaced, eyes narrowing on the door knob as their instructor's hand covered and pressed on the lock.

Joon-woo shot up, eyes widened as he covered his mouth. 

That was the most vivid nightmare he had experienced yet and it felt too much like the actuality of it all. The way their sneakers squeaked against the floor, the way she fell onto the floor. But most of all, the sound of the door lock locking shut under their instructor's press. 

It felt so real because it was real. 

Joon-woo rubbed at his eyes as the dark room in front of him made them sting with overuse. He made out the end of his bottom bunk, the white wall ahead, the clock reading too late into the night. He sighed, rubbing at his neck with his hands as he tried to make out more details of the room. 

He wanted to rid his mind of his nightmare, that day, that moment where Ha-rin had felt herself the most pathetic. He wanted it to cease its everlasting existence. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget and that clicked something in his mind that had slipped due to the added stress of Producer Jang-Soo and a new team. 

That's what he was doing all this for, wasn't he? That's what he had told Kite, slit-wrist deep into his own head when he realized that he wasn't dead like he had wanted. He wanted to forget so he could feel clean, feel like a normal person again.

The dark room around him shaped to be the dorm he had stayed in for more than a week now. He lied back down and adjusted the covers to hide his face. Really, in this route, could he ever feel normal again?

–+–

Reggie pouted his lips as he walked the dormitory halls. It was 7:40 A.M. and recording was yet to start. So, in an effort to catch a chance to chat to new newfound friends, he had gotten up extra early to give himself leeway to hang out in their dorm. 

In truth, he and Mi Yong had done this plenty of times already. But this time around, Reggie wanted, needed to go alone. As a word with Joon-woo was something that weighed on his mind. 

Of course, Reggie only had yesterday to base his worries on, but even so they were worries. And Joon-woo, who was probably too in his own head to notice, was labeled the 'closed-off PD pick'; quite accurately so. 

Joon-woo avoided Reggie like the plague yesterday's afternoon and night. It had only begun after he was pulled aside by Producer Jang-Soo and that worried Reggie to no end. 

He himself had and continued to be shaded and shoved by various staff and had faced countless comments from the varying PD's. So to see his friend, one of his closest friends, be so affected by just one meeting? Reggie knew Producer Jang-Soo didn't mean well and it was something related to him. 

Joon-woo didn't shove away from the touchy-ness of Bo Jaesang or Mi Yong who could not take a hint for the life of them, but Reggie. Reggie, who had tried to be careful about even lightly grazing Joon-woo. Not Mi Yong who thought Joon-woo's hair was soft cat fur to pet. 

Not to mention last night, when Reggie had tried to make his daily goodnight visit to Joon-woo's dorm room, Joon-woo had restrained himself to the bathroom. 

Really, Reggie was concerned. So when he approached Joon-woo's dorm room the next morning, he huffed before knocking at the door. He would get to the bottom of this, he swore. 

A groggy Jung Hyun-OK opened the door to Reggie's knock.

"Ah, good morning Hyung…" Reggie greeted with a bead of cold sweat rolling down his face. "Is Joon-woo up?"

Jung Hyun-Ok twisted at his lips before clicking at his tongue. "Mm, he said he had to meet one of the producers…" 

Reggie stiffened at the reveal. "What..?"

Jung Hyun-Ok shrugged, "He said he was gonna meet us in the stage room for the recording, though." He peered behind Reggie curiously, "Is Mi Yong not with you?"

Reggie slowly nodded 'no', as his mind was preoccupied with worries. Joon-woo was with that producer again? Alone? Joon-woo even woke up early to meet with the producer… In the month or so that Reggie had known Joon-woo, the other had never woken up early. So why now?

Really, wasn't this quite troublesome?