20. All That She Wants.

I woke up, three hours later, and I got to sit, laughing out loud. This was so damn easy and it would give me and my babies our time. First, I went to shower and washed myself, letting my marks be visible and trying to learn to be proud of them, even if it felt like I was trying to impress others by showing that I have my marks too. I knew they had been earned, truly, many times over the years and maybe now would be some good time coming up. 

I went to have a bite and eat a lot. There was no feeding in the kitchen, so I got to choose my food. It was so perfect. I had my cravings, too. Freedom to choose one's food is sometimes truly perfect. Then I went to make bouquets. Flower therapy is always good. I had my skills, collected during all of my years so why don't use them? Salvatores were cooking or fucking, it seemed that wolves were quite needy and boys, Adam, and Charles were out hunting, that was their thing and it was good that they got to hunt and enjoy themselves too.

My libido was not high. I made arrangements after another, talking to myself or my babies, sending my love, and receiving it too. We were bonding, more strongly than at any other time, which was new to me, and wonderful too. I had always loved to be a mother, a role that was natural for me, ironically I thought that it was good to be the best assassin in the world, rebel leader, and mother of the year. I am versatile. After a few days, I ended up in the kitchen and started to cook and bake. It had been a time since I had last done this and oh boy, this was so enjoyable. I had so many quirky ideas and I tried to make them. They were pretty good actually, and they gave me satisfaction and enjoyment.

It is good to get creative and let good times carry me. I don't need sex, or men in my life, not all the time. my independence has and is one thing that I need, and want from time to time. It is just me. I have learned over the years that I am not so much programmed to be alone as life has taught me. Of course, I could have had the love story of the century with Damon if Damien did not exist, but then again, I had to acknowledge that I am actually proud of what I have done over the years. 

Damon rolled off from Mariella. Something was bugging him and then he remembered that challenge that he had made Mimi do. Well, it had been five days, and it was time to see what she had tried to make him do. He told about the challenge to Mariella and she was ever so curious, too. He was quite sure that Miss' ideas had not gotten him.

Damon took the note. He unsealed it and read it. He started to curse out loud and Mariella read it too. So Mimi was truly strong and now Damon focused, trying to find those hints. Something alien in his mind and Mariella came to look too, but they found nothing.

There was no influence in his mind, but he could not deny that he had no desire to go to Mimi. This power was not so important, and it was pretty useless to him. Even if it was not, he just felt like it was not his priority right now. Mariella and their babies were. Sex was. She was scarily strong, and it took a lot out of him to accept that.

 Meanwhile, I was making dinner or something. My projects were plentiful and since there were two kitchens, we had space. It was not said that Salvatore or a few, usually number two or four, just happened to wander, to see what I was up to, taste my food, and sometimes eat it all, thanking me for inspiration, and then they left.

My marks, my locks impressed them, and they quite often touched them. They tried to distract me. As they were spies. They came by, wrapped themselves around me, nuzzled my neck, and touched my hair, trying to distract me while looking at my ideas from my mind, letting their hands wander all over me. But I was not in competition with them at all. This was fun, to get my peace, and I almost thought of us, as my babies were a big part of me and I thought that at some point, I just might let number two feel them too. Not so sure number four, but two, he could take it. 

I had in my time broken us off, more or less as I have gone after Damien, prepared to get rid of him for good and I had sacrificed whatever we had had going on back then, but now, maybe we could get something back, both of us were scarred by time and experience but the spark was there, oh boy, it truly was.

I was just about to start to make another batch of profiteroles when Mimosa walked in. She was looking a little tired and pale.

She said," Mimi since you are the doctor and all, mind you, look me over. Number one and Mariella are fucking like there is no tomorrow, and I just feel so tired and listless. Not sure why?"

I furrowed my brows, went to her, and felt her forehead. It was burning.

I said, "Fine, let's go to medbay and start to see what bug you have. You are running a fever and we need to do some tests."

I put my things away, and we went to medbay. I gave Mimosa a robe to change on and I went to see blood tubes.

Damon and Mariella went to shower and decided to talk to Mimi, to ask how to find those hints, Damon wanted to know more about this ability, he tried to fight against the indifference that had taken him over when it came to Mimi's power, knowing it was one of her hint in his mind.

They were thinking of ways to ensure that her blood was free of mental influence too, and she would be safe to drain, but then he remembered that taste, it had been perfect right till the end and then it had tasted like gasoline when her influence had ended; she had died kind of. 

Mimi was not in the kitchen, and Damon focused, to sense where she was.

Soon he said, "She is in medbay, but why?"

Mariela looked into the past, cursed, and said, "Come on, we need to go. Mimosa had an infection and Miss is examining her. She has no energy shield and she might get it, too."

They teleported into medbay.

I was looking for the correct blood tubes when the voice from the door stopped me. "Do not take a step baby, come on, this is not a good infection you to have. You don't have an energy shield, so I would suggest that next time you tell me before playing doctor. You come here, in that washroom and Mariella will clean you with energy and spell and then you are put in isolation and hope you have not caught this bug as this is not a nice one. "

Damon's voice was very stern, and he really meant every single word that he said. I did not argue but went to the washroom. I had to undress and my clothes were thrown in etna, well I have plenty of clothes. Then naked, I had to go into the washing area. First, I was scrubbed. Mariella scrubbed me everywhere, using a very hard brush and a decent amount of power.

The soap smelled like disinfectant, and it made me itch and dried my skin quite a lot. Then she used spells that made me itch and sting. My skin was red and raw. I got only scrubs, and I was put in the small room and it was sealed. She gave few bags of bumps to be spread on my skin if the itching was overwhelming, but I would not leave there for a week at least. Someone would take some blood tests at some point and then we would see what we were doing. 

I had been in that room for a few days and food was teleported once a day with coffee and cola. I was lying on the bed, feeling my babies and not thinking really anything. The door opened and Damon stepped in. I rose to sit as he approached. He was worried about something and he said nothing as he came to me, yanked me to stand, and pressed me into the wall, putting his hands in my belly. I could feel something and then the feeling of my babies was fading away. I realized he was putting them asleep, shrinking them, meaning I would not be pregnant anymore.

He spoke to me after he had done the deed. His voice was cold and uncaring like I had been just a burden or task for him to do.

"Mariella got this bug too, and I had to put hers and Mimosa's babies to bed, so it is not fair if you would have babies when they couldn't. Shadow's babies are sleeping too. We are going to Ireland to get better. You are fine now, so you can do whatever you want. I will tell you when we will come back and where."

I was upset; I was sad. There were so many emotions inside me, and it was hard to deal with this loss. Even though they were inside me, they were now just cells, now there was no one inside me to who to give me their feelings. This emptiness was almost too much.

Damon hissed at me, "I have ensured that you won't get pregnant spontaneity, so I will decide when we will breed, not you."

Then he left. The door was open. So I could leave too. I walked out of the room, went to my bedroom, one of them, and collapsed into bed crying. I was so damn sad, and I had never felt this powerful sense of loss. It was no use to think that someday those babies might be born and I would meet them. I felt so utterly lonely and Damon's attitude had been almost accusing.

It was nothing they had done so many litters of cubs and babies over the years when I had not. It was all about the other women, especially Princess Mariella, who might get upset if I had had my babies when she could not. 

After I got myself back together, I decided to go shopping spree and if possible, whenever we would end up back together, I would focus on decorating rooms and putting them in order. It was time to get more things for me. It was time for me to start to learn to put myself first for a change.

I took one of my luxury SUVs and went to New York. I would spend my time shopping now and get quite a lot of new things in hamster warehouses too, so there would be jobs there, too.

Though nowadays it was not my domain, there was often a Salvatore or few to open the boxes and wonder what I had gotten. And then they would be sent those boxes where they belonged. They were slow in that regard because I could see from the top of the package what it entailed and sent it without opening it, but it was part of their fun to uncover what I had gotten. 

My shopping therapy was just what I needed, and it did not take more than a week when I was feeling much perkier and not so upset over the babies, I now knew how to communicate with them and I was waiting next time when I would get pregnant to repeat that thing.

It was beautiful to experience bonding with my babies and I was not sure if the same would go with cubs; I knew they could purr in utero and respond when Damon purred at them and I could calm them by purring but this me sending to them my feelings was a whole new avenue to me to test on. 

Like they say, time flies when you are having fun and New York is a big place to shop. There were so many shops to go through and my days were busy. The days went by, weeks even, and after six weeks, Damon asked me where I was. When I told him I was in New York, he told me to come to a mansion in Los Angeles and continue to pack life. They had been cured and everything would be fine. Except he mentioned nothing about having babies or cubs and I guess we just have to see what Mariella decides on that matter. It is all the same for me. I had kept my marks visible. My locks, my flaming blood-red hair, accented them quite a lot. I was not angry or upset anymore. 

As returned to New York castle and put my order into Hamster Warehouse knowing that I had now stocked quite well all the warehouses I knew that the Los Angeles mansion had been mine, and I had done very little in there so there was a lot to be done. Now I would let Number One and Mariella do their things and we would then see where this whole pack is. Pack that I am part of but do not really belong to it, not always, and it is just one fact that I have learned to accept over the years. It could be because I am unique, or I am not the same as others. I am too strong. Reasons would be multiple and I was tired of trying to analyze every single aspect of my life. 

As I walked out of the portal room and went to the lobby downstairs, Number One did not even look at me at all. He was kissing and fondling Mariella and they were quite passionate. It seems that there is nothing new here as I'm air for number one, but Charles saw his chance and made out with me. 

He came at me, pressed me to the wall, and kissed me with a passion that left me quite speechless. We were interrupted by a polite cough and I saw number four smirking at me. He was clearly amused by our passion and it seemed that he wanted to be part of it, too. As number one and Mariella had teleported away in that time, my now two men seduced me diligently and we ended up in one bedroom that I knew was ready. 

Both of them were rough with me, they knew my need to be punished and they were more than ready. I knew that Mariella, well number one was the one who might get rough with her but what I had seen during the years, their rough play, it was soft porn compared to what this little sex beast needed more or less. I had my sentences, I knew how to set Charles off, and number four as well. 

We spent there a week, these two were all over me, and soon number two and Adam had joined in and nothing was too much. I was quite a sex beast, and it was almost like these four would not be enough for me. I needed to feel alive and nothing was better than sex, with daggers, raw violence, taking, and lust, pretty much my raw lust. It was my need to be won. I wanted to be weaker, that someone else, or several would win me, fuck me to bits and there would be nothing that I could do except accept my faith, pure pleasure.

But after a week when I laid on top of Charles, number four stroking me, he said, "How about baby if we put this mansion in shape? Decorate a few rooms so we have sex nests ready to be consecrated. "

I said, "Fine, I spent six weeks in New York shopping my ass off, so I have a lot of stuff, but I have to get a few things more. But I can get them online too. "

Adam said, "How about if we all shop online, you can tell what is missing and we get to shop too, new things for us?"

I smiled at him. Then number four dragged me on top of him, and a little on top of number two, too. We were having fun as they competed in who got to me on top of them. It took time and eventually, we ended up in the shower, or the men went first after draping the sheet over me, or else... It was weird. Neither of the salvatores was too jealous of me, no angry scrubbing, but completion who will get me. they were truly different than number one and I realized just how much Damien kind of corrupted number one during all those years.

They chose my clothes for me and gave me half an hour to shower, get dressed and come to have breakfast before we started to shopping. I had here actually an office and it could be our shopping room as there were laptops in the computer warehouse and good soft sofas and there was plenty of room for all of us.

And I had there this device to put my screen on the wall so men could see what I meant. I was learning to do things in a pack. Just like that, diamond painting was fun. This could be fun, too. I had no problem and if number one would have a problem with this, well; he chose his activity with Mariella and now it would not work that he would barge in like a toddler and try to stop us from having fun. He himself said to me I needed to learn to do things in the pack and this was it. 

It had happened again when we had done our diamond painting, he had come in, gotten jealous, and pulled the plug. Like a petty child, he was. I had told this to number two and he had laughed out loud. He realized it too.

I got myself cleaned and dressed myself and, per their instruction, left my hair open and damp, not even brushing it. It was long reached below my ass and it was thick, but I had learned over the years to cope with it.

I walked to the kitchen and there was a table full of food as they had been tasting my blood too, so there were several smoothies, a hot steaming aroma of fresh coffee, and all the treats and meats that had been done to me. I was directed to sit and someone put on my hair while others brought food before me and I ate. 

We ate, and we talked. I told them my list of what I was looking for and it made sense most of the time as something like curtains had been always in use. And since every house where there had been wing had been relocated to another dimension to be houses there so there had been a lot of stuff to go with those houses too, nothing too important but curtains, rugs, tables, all the stuff that fully furnished house has.

We had so many castles, mansions, and manors that there were not always right-sized curtains for every window and I had measurements of curtains that we did not have. Then certain size rugs, chairs, and even tables were scarce from time to time. It was always one or two sizes that suited anywhere and those were the ones that were always running out. In this mansion, there were over 100 windows of different sizes, floors did not have rugs and all the beds had not been made. There were not enough robes in the bathroom or big enough towels. Adam swore he would ensure that each tub would be heated and, if not, no stopper, and that tub would be teleported somewhere. That was his and Charles's priority. But first shopping. 

After food, we went to my study and everyone had their laptops and I showed them good shops online where to get and they were shops with brands like Armani, Cucci, De la Renta. Men found other shops too, and we were having so much fun. We laughed out loud so many times as their frustration was palpable when just the right curtain was sold out of the size that they were looking for. We were having fun in the pack and this was good. I liked this very much. Pack life was nice and cozy, now I felt like I was home and I belonged.