Chapter Four

Cathy's Point of View:

I don't know what is happening to me but ever since that night happened when he said he won't leave me it doesn't make me at ease.

And as what I was doing after school I go directly back home and then I saw my parents downstairs my mom is crying and my dad is comforting her I ask them what happened but then my dad just look at me and that make me run upstairs to my room I slam the door open and then I saw the book on top of my bed and that's where am I world collapse it is so obvious that he found the book and he figured out that I was lying because I want him to stay so badly.

I ran downstairs hoping that I could catch up with him, I ran and ran, I checked the places where we used to go, to the favorite shops that he always visits, and to the place where he often.

I started to cry because it seems so hopeless that I could find him the worry and pain mixed at that moment.

" Where are you? " I cried so hard cuz I knew that I was wrong but it is bad to wish for happiness for yourself, I really like that guy and now because of my greediness his gone.

I felt like there is a huge stone stack in my chest it makes me feel so stuffy. I could feel my knees become weak. My body is tired of looking around for him. My head keeps telling me that he's gone and I shouldn't look for him anymore, but my heart tells me the complete opposite. It tells me not to give up looking for him, he might be someplace just wanting to be alone for a while.

This heart believes that it wasn't easy for him to leave me, not even saying goodbye. Without even forgiving me for keeping something so important a secret. I know he won't be angry with me to the point that he wanted to be somewhere else even if it's the other world just not to see a glimpse of the wicked me.

I walked...

I ran...

I waited...

I hoped...

I don't remember how to smile anymore. Anyone around me goes back to normal as if the first guy who I gave my heart to didn't exist. I can't see a single trace of him anymore.

" Cathy, are you alright? " I am not. " You seem to look pale." My concerned friend asked me a question but the next thing she told me I can't hear it anymore. My head keeps on ringing but there is a ball inside it hurts that I want to lay down and take a deep nap.

Waking up on a hospital bed is just a routine to me now. I saw my mother talking to the doctor, the ringing in my head is gone but it doesn't make me happy. I heard what the doctor says to my mother, it's not clear but I know I am dying. My mom took good care of me it looks like she's not tired, she smiles and always cheers me up.

Dad also works two times harder than before, they look ok but I'm not tired the only reason I keep on fighting is that even though I can't keep walking, I can still keep hoping, I can still keep waiting, I can still keep praying, even 3 years have passed since he left. I could still wait until he knocks on my door again.