Why waste it chen?

He kept his face neutral and said

"Why would my marriage have anything to do with him?" his mom clenched her jaw, her knuckles turned white from clutching the cup too hard. He knew she was stopping herself from shouting again. Her eyes shuttered close and her voice was calm when she spoke

"I miss him chen, I miss him so much that I sometimes think I'm going crazy." his dad put a over his mom's shoulder but stayed silent.

"But no matter what happens, life always goes on chen. Time doesn't stop for anyone's happiness or pain." she paused and looked in to his eyes as she asked softly

"Why waste it chen? why waste your life when you know nothing you do will ever bring him back." Beacuse I don't feel worthy enough to live this life he thought but didn't say it aloud because there were tears in her eyes now. His dad's grip tightened on her. His mother was strong, stronger than any of the men and women in their family. She didn't cry much even when his brother died. For the most part, she was silent. He didn't want her to go in to that silence once again. He barely managed to stay still the last time she shut everyone off but he didn't have any thought of starting a family either. Not now atleast. He needed time. This time his father spoke.

"Your grandfather said you were going on a mission and that it was going to take time." when he nodded, his dad walked up to him and said in a voice that booked no argument

"When you return you'll have to get married chen. You can marry whome--" but his mom interrupted his dad, a hint of that anger was in her voice again as she said

"I don't care who you marry. I don't care even if she lives on street but just get me a daughter in law." she paused and fisted her hands as she whispered

"Just show me something that would assure me I'm not loosing my other son too" and stormed out of the study room. His father gave him a pat on the shoulder and followed his mom out.

He slowly walked over to the sofa and slumped on it. He felt so worthless. He avoided talking about his brother at all costs beacuse it brought back memories. Bad one's. As he closed his eyes, even now he could see them clearly, see his brother's lifeless eyes staring up at him. He still remembered what it felt like to hold his limp body. It's something he's never going to forget in this lifetime. The chaos, his gang dragging him away from his brother, his brother lying limply in a pool of blood. They are his worst nightmares. His brother's absence haunts everytime he's home. He wondered if other's in the home felt that too. Wondered if that was why no one is staying too long in this house. His grandma once told him that they always had to stay together, no matter where they work and what they do, that they should always have a place to comeback to, but even she is now staying with his aunt. Once, his family was a happy family. Always filled with laughter but the life winked out when his brother left them.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

"Thankyou" song lin said and sam stiffened. He can't believe she's thanking him.

"What?" she growled when he was staring at her like she'd grown two heads. His hand went to his shirt and he fiddled with it as he said nervously

"Nothing miss song. Nothing" she nodded and joined shiyu who was standing with her back against the wall. They were waiting in an abandoned building, which is a 15 min away from the airport. The commander and the colonels should be here in some time. The air was tense and he wondered if like him they were also thinking about the mission. Everyone was ready and set to go. Bags packed, passports checked. Meeting with the commander is the only thing left.

Azriel was already waiting here when he, cass and zayne arrived. But his face didn't look good. Things must have gone real wrong in his home if he looked like that. But none of them asked anything. The demoness and rose came next. He was shell shocked when he the demoness. She cut her hair. Though he never said it aloud, he liked her long hair. It was the only thing that makes a little approachable. But now with the short hair which barely crossed her shoulders, she looked lethal and impossible to talk. Cassian let out an amused whistle but celeana didn't even look at him. She looked lost in her own world. Then came song lin and lin shiyu. Song lin walked straight up to him and said 'A word please' he wondered what he did when he remembered the data. They walked a little farther from the others and then he gave her a pen drive and she uttered her thanks.

From the moment song lin came, zayne's eyes were on her and she was careful to not look at him the whole time. He wondered what's going on with them. Zayne usually ignores everyone but song lin gets under his nerves so easily. Usually cassian and the demoness are the only one's who were always ready to strangle each other but now zayne and song lin seems to be on top of that list. Sam then heard the shuffle of footsteps outside the room they are currently standing in and every thought winked out of his head as they all straightened and the commander, colonel Liang and colonel Zhou walked in.