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The One My Heart Seeks

"Why do I get a feeling that I have seen here somewhere before?" Xavier Carter is a guy who is having difficulty in living because of a complicated family problem. Receiving an inexplicably large amount of hate from his family that he does not even know why all he ever loved was one woman. The woman whom he had gotten the love he deserves. Little did he know, that after many years of not seeing each other, something bad has happened. Tragic news came his way and found out that the person he gets affection from is already gone. He continued living his life of misfortune, thinking that it is fine. But deep in his heart, he still seeks for the attention and affection that his mother gave him. Everything changed, when one day, he saw a vision of a woman. A woman that will change his view of life. A woman that he seeks.

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183 Chs

The First Time I Met You

"Baka, if you hadn't left the beach in the first place, things like this wouldn't happen. Be glad that I went running after your call, so let me have a conversation with this wonderful lady first. Dont worry cause your boss will arrive soon. She just finished fixing up things at the beach," Augustine proved me wrong. This guy changed but for the better.

Still had no idea what Augustine meant by leaving the beach. Since it was my alternate personality, who was using my body for the past six years. Every memory that I had in the past starts to flood in my mind, reminiscing the wonderful remembrance that it left still holds a place in my heart.

Although some of it was awful and was filled with hatred and anger towards my family. Because of them, I was imprisoned, betrayed, and lost my way. However, with the help of my alternate, I was able to be released earlier. Although, I dont know how he did it because I have no memories regarding the past six years, as I have stated earlier.

"Thought you haven't changed in the last six years, bro. But it feels good to see you again, Augustine," I left the two of them and sought treatment at the clinic.

After a few minutes of the nurse tending my wounds and applying some ointment, I left the hospital and had a little walk outside. Because Augustine seems to be fully occupied in trying to flirt with Dr. Gizelle. That he totally forgot that I was the one he came here for. Well, to be honest, Dr. Gizelle has a beautiful face and a wild personality, exactly Augustine's type.

So I can understand why he acts like this. In the past years that passed, were they able to live comfortably? Were they able to live peacefully? Did my siblings bother them while I was imprisoned? Maybe he doesn't want to show me that they suffered because of me. Or might as well just exaggerating things. However, because I have lived for eighteen years with those damned bastards, I know their personalities.

I thought that it would be wonderful to have a little walk outside, but then I saw that this hospital had a rooftop. The view of the moon would be extravagant at a high place, so it would be better to gaze upon it from the rooftop. In the past, the moon served as my stress reliever because of the beauty that this heavenly body shows.

There was this one, if I remember correctly, in the park near Augustine's house, that's where I'll always run to whenever I've been suffering from depression and anxiety. When I was entering the elevator, Augustine didn't seem to notice that I've finished with the treatment. Since he mentioned earlier that my boss will be arriving later, maybe I should just wait for her to arrive.

Somehow, I wonder if my alternate personality saw the woman in my dreams back when I was gone? An imaginary woman who became my strength gave me the power to fight back. It was an odd encounter between a man like myself and a mysterious woman living in a dream. Even after years have passed, I still wish that the person in my mind turned out to be a person all along.

Walking back and forth below the moonlight, sat on the bench beside a lamp. And the same as the usual, just like how I chose to spend my time in the past. I lie down on the bench with my face facing the moon, trying to cover the moonlight with my hands to stop it from dazzling me. Suddenly, I felt that something was missing from me. The years that I had lost because of the unexpected disappearance. My teenage years were supposed to be the peak of my existence.

Becoming a lawyer was supposed to be my dream. Although if I study now with my age, I'll probably waste half of my existence. Studying law in Japan would take around five to seven years. I was imprisoned when I was only eighteen years old, then if six years had passed, my age right now would be twenty-four years old.

Imagine that I'll study for a four-year undergraduate degree in psychology, then take law school for another four years. The last years will be depending on how smart I am in taking the licensure exam. Adding it all up, I'll probably graduate at the age of thirty-four. If it weren't for my stupid siblings, I would have been taking law school by now.

This should be enough, the antibiotics are starting to kick in, and my body is starting to feel a little bit heavy. Could probably use a good night's sleep. I dont know where to head, since I left my house in the past. And it wouldn't be nice to return to Augustine's again after all the trouble I've caused in the past years.

I should probably find a place to stay for the time being and probably a job that pays well even without a diploma. Working at the convenience store again wouldn't provide the necessary finances to live on my own.

"Hey, you forgot your wallet," Suddenly, someone called me near the bench where I was lying down.

When I looked back, her face seemed familiar. She has a shallow resemblance to the lady who was always appearing in my dreams. Due to that, I know that she wasn't the one. Because there are things slightly different from the ones in my dreams. And the one here right in front of me. The look in their eyes and their smile are dissimilar.

"Thank you," I responded to her, then went back to the hospital lobby to meet with my boss.

Meeting that lady who has a slight resemblance with the lady in my dreams started to make me wonder. Would she appear again in my dreams? She holds a special place in my heart because that lady gave me strength when I needed it the most. The comfort when faced with obstacles I thought I wouldn't be able to conquer.

Everything I am right now is because of that lady. Whether she is one of the reality or just a fairytale created by my own mind. I'd rather be a fool who believes in something imaginary than be an idiot still hoping that the cruelty of my siblings will disappear.

At the lobby, it seems that Augustine has already finished flirting with Dr. Gizelle.

"Hey, Xavier. That Doctor wanted you to visit her at the cafeteria before we leave the hospital. Also, your boss will arrive five minutes from now. She informed me on the phone that it was hard to find a cab, so she was late," The explanation seems legit, so I'll just visit Dr. Gizelle's before we leave.

-Cafeteria 2nd Floor-

"Doc, my friend told me that you wanted to see me. What's the matter? Back for a more foul-mouthed session with me?" Teasing this lady is quite a handful but satisfying.

"Stop teasing me, and I just wanted to know if you're leg feels okay. Plus, if you feel even a little bit of pain in your body. Let me know, so I can ask my superior to look after you. Since you might have suffered some other damages on your body, not just the gunshot. I gave my number to your friend since he didn't stop bothering me without giving him my number, so just contact me whenever," She may be foul-mouthed. But, indeed, she is still in training to be a doctor. Her personality would be really beloved by the patient who will seek treatment in this hospital because of her honesty and determination.

"Well, thanks for everything you have done up until now. I'll surely call you if ever I felt something that hurts in my body. Then if we're done, I guess I'll see you till I see you. Cause you know, I haven't really had the time to catch some Z's," After meeting with her, I returned to the lobby to meet up with my boss since she'll be arriving anytime now.

Although it seems that we won't be leaving this hospital anytime soon cause Augustine went back to bother Dr. Gizelle again. Because I felt that Augustine's session of admiring her would take quite some time again, I decided to have a little walk outside for some fresh air. While walking, I saw my boss waiting for the lights to turn red before crossing the pedestrian lane leading to this side.

Thrilled to see my boss after six years, I couldn't help myself but run towards her. So after the light turned red, I hurriedly cross the street, hoping to hug her tight. But suddenly, I saw a man in a black car trying to run me over. Although I have successfully evaded the attempt, two men on a motorcycle decided to target my boss.

Thankfully, I was able to push her away on time. But there was someone who purposely hit me in the back of the head after I saved her.

As my vision blur, I saw my boss safe and sound, and people start to surround me. For a few minutes, I felt nothing, not even the gunshot in my legs. I heard the sound of someone shouting for help and the sound of the police siren. I don't even know what happened to me. So as my eyes closed, I felt that my blood is decreasing. After losing a lot of blood because of the wound in my head, I lost consciousness.

Thought I was unconscious, but after opening my eyes, I saw a bright light while lying from under the tree. There I saw the lady in my dreams, that vibrant smile, and that ethereal beaut. As if what I was seeing right in front of me is real because of its vivid feeling.

The moment she talked, everything shocked me.

Dear Reader,

Hope you're doing well in the comforts of your own home.

Always take care of yourself.

Thanks for taking time to read my story.

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